You know your friends don't listen wh... - Fibromyalgia Acti...

Fibromyalgia Action UK
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You know your friends don't listen when...

pip_r
pip_r
39 Replies

they call you and say..,

"Oh you are there. I didn't know if you'd gone out or if you were at work."

Note: She called me last week when I had my usual stuff to deal with, plus a cold, plus labyrinthitis and also a UTI... No, it wasn't a good week ;) and no, I didn't answer ;)

ARGHHHHH..!

I haven't been able to work for 2 and 3/4 years. Why wasn't I told a miracle had happened and I was suddenly able to do stuff. What is she on! Seriously!! How many times do you have to say...

I'm in pain every day.

I have chronic fatigue.

I have no energy.

bla... bla... bla..!

It makes you feel so special to know your 'friends' take in what you tell them AND believe you ;) Although to be fair, most of my friends do understand. There's always one though isn't there ;)

I think the photo accurately displays my displeasure and reaction to said call..!

39 Replies
oldestnewest
Hidden
Hidden

Yes! There's always one ... or two even :)

1 like
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pip_r
pip_r
in reply to Hidden

Yes, actually I can think of two too ;) xx

1 like
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suffolklass

I know exactly how you feel Pip.

I e-mailed a friend early this week, admittedly I haven't been in touch for a while, when I don't feel good about myself I cut myself off from everyone because I don't like to be a bother or be miserable around people. I do contact them several times a year.

I got a reply saying that I wasn't bothered about anyone and make no attempt to get in touch and they always initiate any meetings.

I replied, after I calmed down. I haven't heard anything back and am torn about phoning because they have been good friends, or simply not bother.

Deep breaths, hhuuuuummmmmmmm..... Nice thoughts.....

Is x

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pip_r
pip_r
in reply to suffolklass

Oh, that's not good. Only you know whether it's worth ringing. They don't sound very understanding though. They need to be good friends all the time. My list of friends is pretty small compared to when I was working and had a social life. I like to think it's quality not quantity - makes me feel better about it ;) I hope if they reply they are a bit nicer. If that's truly what they think, maybe they're not worth wasting precious energy over. Sad to have it happen though I know :(

Yep, keep up with the deep breaths and nice thoughts xx

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puddymaws

Who needs enemies with 'friends' like that? You can do without the upset and hassle, yes? Make yourself your number one priority, don't waste your precious energy dealing with these people. They just aren't worth it are they? J.

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Ginsing

I find they talk a lot about themselves and then as an after thought say "How are you" I have become very disinterested so I brush over how I am they cannot help any way.

We are a fine lot aren,t we - better just stick together at least we understAnd

:) xgins

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pip_r
pip_r
in reply to Ginsing

It's the friends who call every few months and ask all the same questions.

Are you better now?

If only you went out for a walk...

Why don't you try eating this or not eating that...

I sit there silently screaming ;) xx

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electricjaws

I so totally agree with you pip,when I first got ill (14 years ago) my so called friends fell away one by one(because I needed them ,because they seem to have forgot that they could ring me day or night and I was there for them) the minute I needed them where were they? didn't see their ass for dust so to speak!!... I haven't been able to work for 14 years ,barely go out far and am quite isolated ,but that is better than so called friends being "toxic" with me,best off getting rid of friends and getting pets!!! they give you unconditional love, do not judge you and don't bung all their problems on you!!! p.s off to feed my hamster!!

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pip_r
pip_r
in reply to electricjaws

Yes, it's amazing how that happens. Def agree about pets. Hope you have a little hamster with big cheeks now :) xx

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Riles-17

Hi pip I love the picture it sums up fibrous sufferers to a T!!! I have felt just like that this week. Thank god it's the weekend, I'm still trying to carrying on working as I can't afford not to. I'm finding it sooooooo difficult. I get fed up of explaining time after time why I can't do things. People must think its like a cold and that we will eventually feel better. I workin a school and they don't understand why after having 6 was off I'm still so tired aaaaaaarrrrrgggghhh!!!!!!!!!!

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pip_r
pip_r
in reply to Riles-17

I feel for you as I'm lucky enough to have a partner with a reasonable income. Well I say reasonable - she's a teacher ;) Again these people who make comments have no understanding of fibro and you wonder what information they take in when you repeat the symptoms 50 billion times..!

I hope you manage to have a relaxing weekend and are getting over the strains and stresses of the week gone by.

Pip xx

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Frangi-pan

Oh Pip, I know just what you mean! It looks like it's a common event, judging by other people's reaction.

The Scream is just right as Riles says, and I like the upbeat way you wrote your post :)

What I have found really sad is having 2 of our 3 daughters (aged 28 & 34, mind!) drive all the way up to tell me the same sort of thing just a month ago... ".. gave you a year and nothing's changed.." etc, etc, etc...

Right, time for a campaign methinks ;) show them we mean business!

Is it a banshee? Is it a poltergeist? No - it's The Fibroscreams!!!!!

Who's for the cavalry... infantry (maybe not!)... or... ? How about The Scream on a flag?! Which era does anyone fancy?

group hugs all round :) x

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pip_r
pip_r
in reply to Frangi-pan

Scream on a flag... scream on a flat :)

Sorry to hear about how your daughters were - it's not helpful :( Hopefully they will gain some knowledge of fibro somehow and change their views.

My sense of humour helps me to not get too irritated by such things. I just write something sarcastic or bitchy to get it out of my system ;) Thankfully it doesn't happen very often and is always the same one or two people, so I just do a 'raised eyebrow' look, say something (probably not nice) to my OH about them to vent my frustration and then smile and carry on (till the next time they ring).

Fibroscreamer would be a fab username ;)

Keep smiling Frangi-pan :)

Pip xx

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Frangi-pan
Frangi-pan
in reply to pip_r

Thanx Pip! yeah me too with GSH but this has me in shock (doesn't help my mum died on Monday too, but that's another story).

As to the username - it does, yes ! could be a forum war-cry too? ;) x

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pip_r
pip_r
in reply to Frangi-pan

I'm so sorry to hear of the loss of your mum. Devastating enough, so I can appreciate/understand you being in shock re daughters. I'll keep everything crossed they revisit and change their current view. In the meantime my thoughts are with you. Take care xx

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Frangi-pan
Frangi-pan
in reply to pip_r

Pip, you're a star. So appreciate your kind words. Have to deal with funeral when everyone is there on 1st Oct., but like my departed mum, I'm made of stern stuff!

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pip_r
pip_r
in reply to Frangi-pan

I hope it goes as well as it can on 1st. You sound strong - your mum would be proud knowing you take after her xx

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Hidden
Hidden
in reply to Frangi-pan

So sorry about your Mum. My thoughts are with you. X

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Frangi-pan
Frangi-pan
in reply to Hidden

thank you gerryjay - appreciate it... especially as it's my birthday today, which strangely enough ;) has as much to do with her as me :) x

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Ginsing
Ginsing
in reply to Frangi-pan

Firstly a big hug so sorry about mum and . Now . happy birthday to . You. Hope you are ok. Xgins

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Frangi-pan
Frangi-pan
in reply to Ginsing

bless you gins, thank you. yes I'm ok on and off. made the best of birthday - my grandmother used to say "if you can't do as you will, then do as you can"... so hung some red balloons and bunched some more in 2 vases, looked like flowers ;) and wore my mother-of-the-bride dress (raspberry pink with 2 underskirts) which made me feel special :D OH took day off but he had bad headache, so didn't go anywhere (desperate to get out!!) - watched daft film instead :) reminded him that he'd never gone to bed with 57yr old woman before (hehe!) think that makes you and me 2yrs apart after your birthday last week? Frangi-pan xx

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Ginsing
Ginsing
in reply to Frangi-pan

you are right only 2 years good eh! Glad it was a gentle day :) xgins

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Maggiet

I like the scream idea. Maybe on a badge as a warning when folk approach! I have fibro and small fibre neuropathy and usually grit my teeth at work and say nothing. However, I was in mega pain on Friday and told staff I couldn't keep getting up to meet students -iI work in a uni. They accepted that and sent anyone through to me. Must have had that look on my face that said - don't mess with me today!!!

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pip_r
pip_r
in reply to Maggiet

Sometimes you just have to be honest and let people know your limits. Most people are pretty good. If they're not, I want to say punch them, but that's not nice. Maybe do the silent scream. People are usually more scared of madness than violence ;)

Did I go too far..?

Pip xx

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Maggiet
Maggiet
in reply to pip_r

No, not at all! I'm slowly but surely getting out of the habit of apologising for my slow walking speed, having to use the lift etc. This is what I have, I can't help it and sure as hell don't want it so my new mantra is not having to say sorry. Oops, I think I pinched that from somewhere else!!!

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pip_r
pip_r
in reply to Maggiet

:) Yes I think I might have heard that somewhere ;)

Absolutely why should we apologise! As far as I'm concerned, this is me and if I can live with it, everyone else sure can ;) xx

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Maggiet

And if anyone DARE say "you don't look disabled" then I am going to reply," well, you don't look ignorant but you obviously are". Haven't had to use it yet, but it's there, just waiting!!

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pip_r
pip_r
in reply to Maggiet

You just made me 'laugh out loud' ;)

I may nick that off you :) xx

1 like
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Hidden
Hidden
in reply to Maggiet

gerryjay

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Hidden
Hidden
in reply to Maggiet

Brilliant! I'm keeping this one in mind. Hope I manage to use it before fibro fog pinches it!

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Maggiet

Be my guest. Perhaps I should patent it ;-)

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pip_r
pip_r
in reply to Maggiet

I'll let you know how it goes down. Hopefully not from a hospital bed though ;) xx

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Maggiet
Maggiet
in reply to pip_r

He he! Another reposte if your illness is being questioned is " that's amazing. You've just proved 3 consultants, a registrar and 4 GPs wrong. I must get my medical records amended". Hospital bed and broken nose here I come!!!!

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pip_r
pip_r
in reply to Maggiet

Excellent :) xx

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Ginsing

Wonderful quote from Churchill ......lady meetds him in a doorway and she says

Why you are drunk!

He responded . Madam you are. Ugly

but I will be sober in the morning

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pip_r
pip_r
in reply to Ginsing

:) xx

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Ginsing

You should have told us - I am so sorry about your Mum Frangi pan we are always hear if you need to have a chat. xxxgins

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throbbingpain

Yes I totally get what you're saying and experiencing the same issues myself..talk about frustrating !

Can people just not be bothered to listen or are just too busy with their own lives they haven't got time to care ??

A symptom of the stressful modern 21st centuury we live in I guess..

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mysmugcat

Yes I know. I got someone suggesting I did a xxx long bike ride. Well it helped them. I like your picture. I believe it's Edward munch the scream or similar spelling.

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