Fibromyalgia Action UK
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I feel like I have a zero tolerance policy within me.

The things I used to tolerate I no longer do and instead I push those people who bug me out of my life immediately.

I feel like I'm turning cold but if I don't push them out they add to the pain.

I see my pain as something I have to live with so I don't want to live with it in certain situations if its not worth it.

Is that mean? Am I horrible?

I'm just so fed up of being in pain that anything on top of that just pushes me over the edge.

7 Replies

we 'reason' with what what we are confonted with. It may not correspond with we are used to - many a time the latter reasons seem/are better. Go with what is working now, and always keep 'compound' eyes open.


I have gound that my personality has changed since being diagnosed. I have become far more outspoken and feisty. I don't think it's necessarily a bad thing either. You've got to start looking out for yourself. I don't think you're being nasty or selfish.

Becky x


That's just your survival instinct and it's a good thing. Avoid all stressful situations and toxic people. If you have to be vociferous or even cutting (I have a razor tongue when provoked) to draw those lines around you for self-preservation: just do it and you'll have more "down time" for recovery and also it will improve your overall quality of life - something that is hard to find when you are in pain and exhausted 99% of your life.

Don't be hard on yourself and don't let others do it either :-)

Best wishes,


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i know just what you mean before fibro i would let people walk all over me but now if i know that i have done nothing wrong then i ill stand up for myself i do not think that is a bad thing i do feel bad afterward though but sometime its a high fie moment and i am pleased with myself look after your self no one else will these days


Sorry about my delayed response for some reason I didn't get a notification.

I see that, I have a razor tongue now but do we have the right to just cus of the pain?

My sister tells me it's sad that I've accepted this as my life but how else do I live with this with some form of normality if I don't just accept my fate?

What's the best way of dealing with ur anger? Without taking it out on those closest to u? There must be another way.

It's horrible. I feel so trapped


Hi Simran,

First and foremost - anger is a normal and healthy reaction to what we experience - so don't try to deny it or fight it: you probably know all this already but sometimes it's good to say the obvious. :) (I know from experience, having tried to push my anger aside and pretend it's there has a horrible outcome.) I know it's easier said than done, but sometimes you, literally just have to stay with and experience each and every emotion, knowing that, eventually, it will pass, and thus forth the stress response will eventually slow down and our Fibro symptoms will ease. Especially with the idea that Fibro partly be the result of pent up emotion that have built up over the years, some of it could just be our bodies way of trying to release all the excess energy. I'm in no way saying that's all of it or undermining what you're experiencing NOW, but that could be part of it, besides, if there's any of easing the Fibro by 'overcoming' previous trauma, then some of the anger you have now would decrease as a consequence.

When I'm in a particularly bad mood, I find music a great therapy, musicians write about all sorts of things but if I can interpret their creations - even just a little bit - in a way that I can relate to, that's a big help. I feel more understood when listening to music, as they do some of my feelings justice. Just out of interest, my favourite songs to listen to during these times are by a group called Evanescence: Lithium, Going Under, and Hello are songs which I feel I can relate in terms of how Fibro affects me (particularly Lithium in my opinion), even though the context of the songs are different. My friend Beth, as do I, find writing helps incredibly. I know fog can sometimes get in the way of that but: remember, it doesn't have to make sense to anyone else - just you. You could maybe try poetry: this type of writing seems to flow more easily, somehow.

Now, I know all this is more difficult in practise than in theory, especially because you can't always deal with your emotions in peace, as you say, there are other's who may come and bother you - which is a problem also because you don't want to take it out on them. What you need to do, I think, is have a chat with your family/friends/whoever you're living with or in contact with, right now, and establish some set times of when you can have some time alone, without being disturbed. Explain to them it's one of the things you need because of your Fibro, and that you think having this agreement would not only benefit you, but them as well. Even those outside your home, you could arrange with them a day - or a couple of days - during the week, where you definitely don't want to be disturbed. It might have a positive impact on your health if you have an establish routine when you rest, and reduce stress levels because of a predictability: so that you're able to cope better on those days and enjoy yourself when you are participating in social situations.

I hope this comes across ok (sometimes when I read things back they don't come across how they intend them to go). I CAN relate to how you must be feeling, (But I won't insult you by saying 'I know how you feel') and I wish there was more I could do to help.There are times when I'm so desperate and just want to left alone, I'm also quite young as a matter of interest, 19 and meant to be going to university in a few days time, and I'm worried the general unpredictable of Fibro is going to hinder my time there. Especially because stress flares it up, and leaving home will surely be stressful.

Like I've said, maybe you've heard this advice before but I hope you can taking something from it - even if it's just the idea that people have seen this, and are thinking of you.

(It's an old fashioned tip, in times when you're really desperate and worried about saying something you may regret, there's the classic 'closing your eyes and counting to 10' it isn't fool proof but there's no harm in giving it a try.)

I hope you feel better soon,

Best wishes,


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Sorry just one more thought:

I hope you see this because I know you said you didn't get any notifications last time. If it isn't just a technical error that will overcome itself - have you tried check your settings to see if you account is set to accept notifications? If you click on your username at the top of the screen (green bar), there should be a drop down list with Email Preferences. I think when they updated HU some people's account settings got changed automatically.

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