Birthday Blues

[Betty67]

Had a birthday yesterday, and switched the 'phone off and hid. Just could not face speaking to anyone wishing me many happy returns.

[Hidden]

Are you on any meds or meds that you have been on for a long time as I have found we can get used to some meds and they no longer work as effectively ... Maybe you need a med reveiw you sound very low and maybe an appointment with your GP to discuss how low you feel and what meds could help you might be a step to take

VG x

[hamble99b in reply to Hidden]

I have found that too vg and had my meds changed.

JacHK, you can do whatever you want, you didn't want those calls.

I didn't have christmas a few years ago, it was just another day. I spent it my way.

keep in touch and let us know how you are.

regards,

sandra.

[ladymoth]

Hi Jack,

You have a perfect right not to accept calls, but if you are feeling so bad, it would probably be best to seek some help from your GP. No one should feel that bad, and there is help out there - you just need to ask for it.

I hopw you feel easier soon - please let us know how you're getting on!

Moffy x

[Betty67]

Thanks all.

I have done lots of trials over different meds but found that the side effects were sometimes as bad as the pain.

Bit of background, I am overweight but always maintained that my illness caused the weight gain and not the weight causing the illness. GP always said that the weight was not my main concern but specialist poined out that everyone carrying around extra weight gets tired and being obese did not help so in two years I lost 8 stone and I still felt tired and in pain and now I am finding it so hard to eat sensibily and since November last year have nearly gained 2 stone and feeling out of control.

[ladymoth]

Hi Jack, I'm only a small person, but feel tired and have pain just the same. It's better to maintain a reasonable weight tho' for many reasons.

The fact that you feel out of control is significant to me - we all need to have that control over our lives, or we become isolated and miserable. Would you be able to ask your GP to refer you for CBT ? (Cognitive Behavioural therapy)

It can make an enormous difference to how you manage your pain and anxiety, and I personally found it the best treatment I ever had. Of course, it has the added benefit of having no side effects other than feeling much better!

I do hope that you feel you can discuss this with your doctor. I find that GPs are often very pleased that patients want to take the positive step of asking for a therapy which will help them to take control of their illness, and to improve their health and quality of life.

Moffy x.

[Betty67]

Thanks Moffy

I have done CBT, perhaps I need to review what I learnt. I just need to get my head around why a seemingly normal person is self harming (not with sharp things).

Jac

[ladymoth]

Self harm can take many different forms, including giving yourself a hard time!

Yes, CBT can be hard work. I still have to remind myself of what I learned, and I have to spend time thinking about it each day, so I'm still a work in progress.

It's like a diet, really - if you just stop at the end of the CBT course, you will return to how you were before.

Maybe you should have another shot at it - I'm convinced that with help and guidance you could unlearn your negative and harmful ways of thinking, and become a happier person.

Medication was never any good for me, but I have managed to get myself into a good mental condition. I had a lot of help, but I worked very hard at practising what I had learned.

Try writing down a list of say five things which you find upsetting (I know there's more, but that's enough for starters) Look at why they upset you, and think about what you might do to improve them. If you can think of one single helpful thing that you can do, then you will already have made good progress.

It's not easy, but it works quite quickly once you get the hang of it

.

Do see your GP, though - I'm pretty sure you'd do better with some further help, so don't be afraid to ask for what you want!

Moffy x

[Betty67]

OK thought I should give an update, found out this week that my mother is technically mad. Thought it was dementia and probably she has that as well but there is an underlying problem as well.

Feel like a hugh weight has been lifted my reactions to the abuse were 'normal'. Normal childhoods do not have people telling them that no one likes them, that they have no friends and that if only they were blond with blue eyes they would be better and of course they love their niece more than they love you as they have blond hair and blue eyes, being good at maths was unimportant, that you need to spend all your money on them and presents and ok I could go on.