Feels like rain

It should be here by now

The Positive Indicator to Contentment City was due ages ago

Gave everything we had for a one-way ticket to Parenthood,

Transferred at The Royal to guarantee a seat on the Maiden Voyage

Made it all the way from Bleak Fields to Hope Junction,

Next stop Confirmation Joysville...

We should be there by now

Stuck at Ambiguous Impasse,

Overlooking a scrapyard,

Nothing in either direction.

The signals are down and the cafe is closed

The wind is blowing

Feels like rain

5 Replies

  • Hi you, I love your blogs. They really resonate with how I'm feeling. Thank you for spending the time to post on here. Mindful Muma-to-be

  • Hi Mindful,

    You too? Shame :(

    Has the world stopped turning, or is there a bogof offer on time at the moment?



  • I love reading your posts - have you considered writing for a career? Maybe I'm a bit slow today (I have been up since very early) but what is this post telling us exactly? Are you saying treatment has failed? Or are things just going very very slowly? Whichever it is, many of us can empathise. I myself was feeling very proud of the fact that I hadn't had a big cry since Christmas - all that is about to change I feel. Everywhere I turn there are newborns. Or large ladies about to pop........

  • Hi Katiejane

    Thank you for your encouragement; I do enjoy writing, it's been very therapeutic to get these thoughts out of my head. It gets crowded in there.

    I was implanted over 4 weeks ago and have had two inconclusive blood test results and have to wait yet another week to test again. The first test was nerve wracking, the second test was a nightmare and waiting for a third is torture! I'll get a scan too but it's so early we'll be looking for a tiny lump in a bag full of lumps so it's unlikely to be conclusive either. So I might be pregnant, I might not, it might be failing as I write, it might be fine...

    I thought at this point in the journey it would be black or white, yes or no - good or bad, I would know what was going on.

    I don't know what's going on.

    All I can do is wait.

    I'll end up taking this journey to it's conclusion either way, onwards to fulfilment or back to the start.

    And yes, it would help if the world would stop waving its sticky offspring at me, launching beaming babybumpers into my path. How can the rest of the world keep turning when my clock has stopped?



  • Jeez, you r having a helluva time . Why all the blood tests? Weren't any pregnancy tests reliable at all? Hopefully things will turn out for you. I'm sure we are all keeping our fingers crossed.

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