Single parent, donor ethnicity decisions - anyone else dealing with this?

[Pickle_Cardiff]

I am planning to be a single parent and get donor sperm and have IUI. I am mixed heritage myself, half white English, half Persian. It is pretty impossible to find that exact mix but even anything close (with sufficient stock remaining) is proving very difficult. The question of race, identity, and culture making a choice as a single parent is so difficult. Is anyone else dealing with these issues? What kinds of things have you considered? What feels important? I had wanted to have a UK donor so my child has the easier possibility of meeting the donor if they want when they are older but I might have to look further afield to find a suitable donor. I'd love to hear other's thoughts on this issue if you have experience related to this.

[Doodlebug23]

I’m a SMBC and used a Spanish donor. I chose a clinic in Spain. I have dark features - skin eyes hair so it suited me in that respect.

[HollyT7]

My family are from st kitts and Ireland and England. I have 13 cousins on that side and we are all different shades and different hair type. I can’t help on what would be important but just wanted to reach out and say that no matter what you choose, you will end up with a beautiful mix! ❤️

[Pineappletree]

Hi lovely, I have been trying to be a SMBC since 2022, and now will have my last round of fresh IVF in March. I have had this idea for a couple of years and wanted to make sure I was really comfortable to raise the child on my own (both physically and mentally). Age is also what urged me to get it started asap. It was exciting and nervous when I selected my sperm donor but the race perspective didn't bother me much. I'm actually an Asian and the donor is from Norway. I got them from European Sperm Bank. It is really well organised and you could find all necessary info about the donor on the website. I think you'd have a better idea by taking a good look at the website. I'm sure it is a big decision to make and at the moment I found to get pregnant is the most challenging as I have had three failed cycles. What I'm trying to say is if you could manage to get pregnant to have the child of your own, it probably doesn't matter much what a mix it might be, you would love him/her unconditionally ❤️❤️.

[Tinkertinkerbell]

Hi, I’m a new single mother. My daughter is 3 months old. I’m fully white and I chose a Chinese sperm donor so my baby is half white and half Chinese - she’s so cute 😍

She looks nothing like me but that wasn’t important to me. I just loved the opportunity to create this special little cutie. Good luck x

[Pickle_Cardiff]

thanks for your comments everyone! I found an online session by donor conception network on ethnicity and donor choice so I'm going to go to that as well