Matching donor help please

[Sharonl75]

Hi All

I’ve not been on in a while as life has just been too difficult.☹️ I’ve just had my 4th failed round and feel like I’m in a trance wading through treacle just to get through the day.

My eggs clearly aren’t cutting it so I need to move to donor eggs. Can I ask-the clinics abroad (especially Spain and Greece-I’m limited to them I think as I’m doing this as a single person unless anyone knows of others??) What is your input of choosing a donor? How much info do you get? I’d like to match hair colour, eye colour etc and also know a bit about their medical history. Do you get to choose or does the clinic match for you? Are there any clinics that let you have more input than others?

And how on earth do you chose between all the clinics that are out there? It’s a minefield and even narrowing it down to locations that are easier to get to there are loads!!

Help! Thanks

[Hidden]

Hi Sharonl75

I am glad you are feeling ready to try to plan next steps. I always find that helped me recover- to have focus on what next. I hope it helps you too.

My clinic we chose as friends had success, the location had several flights from a local airport per week, and we liked the location too. The clinic had great hfea results and seemed to have pioneering approaches, latest tech etc.

They check medical history, do genetic testing and match eye, hair, skin and height. But we did not have a choice of donor. Actually, I was a little surprised at first but in the end I feel that I like it this way.

We had 6 fertilised eggs from the first round. Our first round was bfn, then i took time out of work to de stress. 2nd round bfp however it unfortunately ended in anembryonic, 3rd round is now and i am coming up for 36 weeks.

You will need to go for an initial appointment and then back each time you would like a transfer. You will also need somewhere local for scans / bloods here before you go along.

Our clinic was in Barcelona and we made each trip like a little holiday. I would advise if possible that you go with someone. Just so they can lift your case up to the overhead locker on the plane - you aren't supposed to lift over 5kg during 2ww. Also, it's more fun to be there with someone.

Here's wishing you all the best and I am more than happy to answer any questions you might have xx

[Sharonl75 in reply to Hidden]

Thanks Camillage. I’d decided one more go with my eggs here since I was using different sperm but it didn’t work.☹️ I need to accept that now. I definitely always like to have a plan so back to donor eggs and will be using donor sperm as well.☹️

Were your embryos frozen? Did you do medicated transfers? How far in advance of transfer would you know dates? I think this is what stressing me now-how to arrange it with work and holidays as I need to book holidays off work in advance.

Can’t believe you’re 36 weeks-not long to go now until you meet your little one. You must be getting excited!.xx

[Hidden in reply to Sharonl75]

I just wrote a really long response then lost it! The first one they synced my cycle with the donor so maybe that was fresh? It's all a bit of a blur. The others were definitely frozen. Once you let them know you are ready for your transfer - I.e. when you feel ready - they share the protocol (plan) and that should have dates on it. As long as your lining behaves then that date should be fixed (once you start your period).

It's all very similar to your own egg cycles but without the immense amount of drugs and injections. I didn't tell work at first, then in the end I did so that was also less stressful.

I found that kinesiology really helped me too.

Getting very close yes, and I still cant believe it is actually happening xxx

[Amandaholland85]

Hi sharonl75

My clinic is in Greece and i did doner spam as i am a single woman and i am 34 weeks pregnant with a little girl. as far as i am aware my clinic ask for all my details like eye colour hair colour hight blood tip and sent me the profiles so i would say it would be the same for doner eggs the only difference is the age of the doner are much younger to give you a better chance of having a baby i can't folt my clinic thay wher strat up with me and didn't give me fols hope its definitely worth looking in to as it's just a money making business in the UK hop this helps any questions just ask x

[Sharonl75 in reply to Amandaholland85]

Thanks Amanda. I’ve pm’d you.xx

[Cinderella5]

Hey Sharon, sorry to hear of you recent failed cycle! Our clinic in Athens match for us, the midwife does it. We had to send clear pics of both of us. We had to fill in a document that asked us both for eye colour, hair colour, blood type, height, body type, weight, skin type (fair etc) and nationality. They then asked if we had any other specifications if you want to ask for specific things like educated to a certain level etc. The info we got told was exactly what we had given them back for her, age, height, weight, hair colour, blood type etc and occupation. The only thing that wasnt an exact match was height - a few cm taller and a few kgs lighter (never a bad thing). Our donor also had proven fertility - has her own family and had a successful donation previously. They do all the health checks prior to them donating at their end. Good luck!xx

[Sharonl75 in reply to Cinderella5]

Thanks Cinderella -you must be getting ready for transfer soon??

I’m reassured they try to match fairly closely. There are obviously people I would tell and people I wouldn’t and I think knowing that hopefully matching would be one less stress. How far in advance do you know when you’ll be needed to go out? I’m just trying to figure how I’d make it work with my work? Thanks.x

[Cinderella5 in reply to Sharonl75]

Yes, they're really good actually. Obviously you dont get pics but they matched pretty much everything on the list as best as they can and there is no other "me" out there so had to remember it wasnt ever gonna be exact. I found myself initally pondering over "oh my donor has a hobby as art but I dont"....all sorts of random silly things but once I had those embryos I can honestly say Ive not looked back.....those embryos are mine...all mine! You will know with a fair bit of notice, the clinic gives you a plan in advance with a timeline or ours does. Im not sure if you are doing donor sperm also but if you arent then you obviously need to be out there for around 7-10 days for fertilisation and growing to day 5. If using DS then you can literally just go out for a few days for transfer and come home the next day if you want.

We are getting there for transfer, just on meds to thicken my lining and Im heading out for transfer around 17th so not long to go, eeeeek!!xx

[Lou7744]

Hi there, I’m so sorry about your latest attempt. My understanding is that you can do a double donor in the UK, if you should choose to opt for this 💕 xx

[Sharonl75 in reply to Lou7744]

Thanks Lou-my clinic have said they don’t have any egg donors. My sperm donor from this round was from the Danish sperm bank as there are no local sperm donors either so I’ve got no choice really.☹️

[Lou7744 in reply to Sharonl75]

Ah right 😞 I visited a clinic this week who advised that they are able to provide both. Is there any possibility of changing clinics (not sure if you would want to) 💕 xx

[Hidden in reply to Sharonl75]

I do quite like to go abroad as it makes it a little special too. A wee holiday each time. Xx

[Cinderella5 in reply to Hidden]

I agree Carmillage, the down time is amazing!! If you can take some time out Sharonl75 and going abroad there are no shortage of donors either!xx