Hi all,
We've started IVF this month. After some not great experiences with some on this journey so far we've decided to not share too much further but I'm finding having something so massive going on and others not really knowing a little isolating. Not sure if it's the right call to keep it so quiet. Just wondering how others have found the process, any tips etc and if any others are starting this month?
It would be great to know others in a similar position!
Hard one to advise…..we kept quiet with family where very little people knew. At times I found it easier when transfer attempts failed because no one would know or ask……other times I just wanted to sound out how I felt but we hadn’t told people which made it difficult. Plus and minuses with either choice xx
Hi greenlily
I have just turned 40 and this is our first ever ivf treatment and after much contemplation decided this was best chance.
I start injections this week which i am excited about weirdly although not lookung forward to the side effects!
At first we were going to keeo it to ourselves but after much thought i have now spoken to my parents and two best friends. I decided this was best for my emotional well being and support and i feel better for it
I also confided in my boss and being supported very well up to now. There is a fertility policy in place which allows me time off.
Have you spoke to anyone yet about this?
Where about are you on your journey if you dont mind me asking ?
Im trying to keep myself busy walking a lot and trying to keep positive thoughts without getting too far ahead of myself.
X
I just started the injections today so get how you feel! I'm glad it's been helpful to tell them. A friend of mine who had IVF and now has a baby knows and is supportive but mostly haven't told others. Just a bit worried about the response, and if they don't know I won't feel disappointed as such if it's not very supportive. Also keeping busy which is definitely helping! Good luck for your round.
hi, this community is a very supportive one and one I found very comforting through my IVF time.
I too, kept it very quiet apart from my parents and my next friend but I did find it hard to navigate when colleagues were not necessarily understanding or sensitive when I was facing challenges.
I have other friends who made their IVF journey quite public on social media etc which seemed to work for them, so I guess it comes down to personal choice.
I found it difficult around test result time as people would ask for the result before I was necessarily ready to share so I kept the details as vague as I could as time went on.
Good luck xx
Hi, thanks for your message and I wish you all the best as you embark on this journey. I've been at it for 2 years and I have experienced several ups and downs (mostly downs) when I came to share with others. There's no rule that would apply to everyone obviously, but my partner and I have definitely felt a weight was lifted when we started to slowly share it with close friends and with our parents. Equally, whenever people would get too curious and ask too many questions on progress etc, and we would not feel like sharing, we have prepared a standard statement along the lines of "we're on the journey still, nothing to share at the moment" which immediately would shut people up 😅 this works for us because after a while we felt we needed to protect ourselves again from constant questions, which can get tiring. Also, most people that have not been on this journey have not got a clue about how to sensitively handle these conversations which often left me personally very upset and kept wondering what's the point on sharing anyway? Long answer sorry..I guess you get the feeling that there is no right or wrong and most importantly what you feel may be good for you today may be different tomorrow. Go with what you need now in terms of sharing/not and don't be afraid to change your mind! You don't have to tell the world, and you may be surprised by how supportive some people can be if you let them in 
I wish you all the best! 🍀
We only disclosed our journey and IVF at the point I was pregnant and we actually only told friends after 20 weeks (I was lucky my bump was small you wouldn’t have known). It felt like a huge weight lifted to tell people and I’ve discussed with certain family in depth about some very challenging times. In a way I regret not having certain people supporting me through that journey but I expected IVF to work first time and that we wouldn’t have treatment for years.
It's a difficult one. Our 1st round we told no one and whilst it was quite isolating when it failed I was absolutely devastated and I'm not sure how I could've coped with people asking me about it so I'm kinda glad we kept it to ourselves. Our 2nd round we ended up having to tell my parents - my dad was due an op the same day as my egg collection so I had to explain why I couldn't drive him. Telling my parents meant we had to tell my hubs mum too. They were all supportive but again when it failed it was just awful having to tell them all. They were upset for us but also I felt the pain for them too and that was just awful.
So now we've just had our 3rd round DE this time and they all know because we went abroad- couldn't lie about going away 3 times in 9 months! So had to tell them. This time it's worked I'm 5+4 and I've had to tell them all straightaway as they knew we were going for transfer so would want to know the outcome. I've told them way sooner than we would and now I'm just worried if anything should happen the thought of having to tell them would kill me. I hate seeing others upset so it's difficult.
I'm glad it's open and they know - I'm not embarrassed by it it's just I'm not a big sharer (unless it's behind a screen!) So when they ask things I find it difficult to talk about, especially when things don't work out.
I have a friend who's also going through ivf so I've found it so helpful to have someone who fully understands and who I can talk to about everything. I think if you can find that kind of person you'll be good and honestly forums like this and fb groups are great for not feeling so alone.
Good luck! X
we kept it quiet this time around with a sibling and fairly quiet our first time too except both our sisters and even then it was vague details. Not a single soul knew this time except our bosses for appointment times. I much much MUCH prefer people not knowing but it’s a very personal choice. Make sure you keep talking to each other and take time out to still live and do normal things would be my advice. This forum is also great even just to read to know you are not alone even if you don’t have a specific question. The pressure of other people knowing and having to ‘manage’ that too was just not something I needed at all even though our family is very supportive and even through all the miscarriages it was still easier for us just to deal with it alone and lean on each other, it’s important to have date nights, holidays and talk about other things too though as it can quickly be all consuming if you let it. X
I’ve told pretty much everyone that we will be going through ivf, I needed their support and understanding if I wasn’t my usual self. I’ve been lucky not to face any negativity. I don’t think I will share exact dates of things with many people though. I’ve also found help via social media, particularly Instagram. Happy to share any pages/people that I’ve been following that I’ve found helpful. Sending you the best of luck 🤞🏼
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