Straw-clutching - any 40+ mums-in-waiting had success in Europe OE after no success in the UK?

[Darcy1996]

Hi all, once more looking for hope which you are all phenomenal for. Just had our third round fail in the UK. I’m 43, would like to use OE, but after 36 eggs collected over 3 rounds, we only got to PGT test 1 embryo, which did have a chromosomal abnormality.

Waiting for hormones to rebalance so I can go to the follow up with a clearer head and ask more questions that just “WHY DOES THE UNIVERSE HATE ME?”, and “SO WTAF HAPPENED?” which might not be v constructive, potentially? 🫠

So my question is, has anyone here had sweet FA luck in the UK & then some luck overseas? (Similar age & circumstances).

I love my clinic & I love that it’s close by for frequent monitoring, but not sure we can afford to go there again. Or if they’ll have a new plan that’ll move the dial enough.

I don’t know if logistically EUR is achievable for me due to work pressures, a vile boss and keeping it all secret - or even financially viable even if cheaper at this stage, but I know it has to be more affordable than the UK of course (if Greece or Cyprus, Spain clinics I loved but found similar expense to UK).

Thanks for bearing with me & my straw-clutching 💜

[Elmo13]

Hi Darcy,

Haven’t got a success story to share yet but just wanted to say I’m sorry to read what you’ve been through and please don’t lose hope as dark as it may seem. I’m on cycle number 7 right now and am the same age as you so I do understand how you must be feeling.

Last year we went out to Greece for a cycle as I felt the Greek and Spanish clinics were better for older ladies like myself. They seemed to be more personalised with the plan (at least my clinic did). We did PGTA and unfortunately none of my embryos were normal. I would have gone back to the clinic but for other reasons we had to stay in the UK for the most recent cycles. Happy to PM you the name of the clinic if you want.

Take care. Xx

[Darcy1996 in reply to Elmo13]

Thank you Elmo13 I’m so sorry to hear you’re 7 rounds in - that shows so much strength & resilience, and perseverance 👏🏻

If we could make it work financially, I’d love to stay with our clinic & not start afresh but I need to weigh up overseas & more rounds being affordable vs maybe just 1 more in uk. It’s flipping hard isn’t it? And I hear that clock ticking so loudly & don’t want to waste more time 😒😒

[Mercury363]

I had a meeting with my uk gynaecologist today who said he wouldn't have recommended pgt to me for any of my 3 cycles. I did my last egg collection at 41 and got two day 5's, neither made it through testing. My Spanish clinic recommended I do the testing and obviously you take the advice where you can find it but some evidence is there that the embryos can right themselves in some cases. Who knows but just wanted to say I wish you luck with whatever choice you make!

[Darcy1996 in reply to Mercury363]

Thank you, I was trying this approach this round…as in, they might not have been strong enough to test, but could they have made it in the womb? It’s a head f€%k & a half!!!

[leo1980 in reply to Mercury363]

Hmm. I had a similar question but the other way around. I had asked my embryologist if a chromosomay normal embryo could become abnormal once implanted and growing and she said no. (I asked this at 12 weeks ) as I was worried about Edwards, downs etc. we used a OE PGT A tested embryo (38 weeks pregnant)

[Darcy1996 in reply to leo1980]

congratulations that's wonderful - and best of luck with their safe arrival

[Winnie_38]

Hi Darcy

I’m slightly younger at 38 and but have my own issues(!) I’m with Spain and do find it more affordable than UK even with additional expenses of flights and accommodation. Plus it’s very quick to get here (I’m here now awaiting duo stim 2nd phase egg collection!) I feel the clinic are very geared up for helping women who are older - honestly I think I’ve been one of the youngest when I’ve been in the clinic! The testing, beside manner and bespoke care I also found better than the UK clinics I was with when deciding who to select. If you’d like more details feel free to message me!

[Darcy1996 in reply to Winnie_38]

thank you so much Winnie and best of luck with this EC 💜

[Nes1005]

Hello

I know it might feel like ‘clutching at straws’ , I questioned my self and my sanity for doing my ‘one last cycle’ with own eggs but my heart and my gut told me I needed to, and I am 44, and currently 23 weeks and 5 days pregnant, the eggs were collected one week before my 44th birthday in May. Still such a long way to go but we are hopeful.

It hasn’t been a completely straightforward pregnancy, I just came out of hospital a couple of weeks back having had to spend a fortnight in there on bed rest following an emergency stitch which was a horrendous procedure to go through with my history, BUT I am fighting on a day at time, anxiety is crippling, but I’m keeping going for my little miracle and hoping everything is going to be okay.

I’m not exactly the same situation in that I did have a cycle in the uk in 2022 (at 41) that gave us our son, sadly born sleeping at almost 18 weeks. But my subsequent 2 cycles in the UK didn’t lead to pregnancy after transfers and the clinic were amazing so sometimes it really is just truly frustrating. My 4th and 5th cycle were abroad in Cyprus, 2 transfers failed on 4th cycle and 5th one has given us this little miracle. We couldn’t afford to continue treatment in the uk and I couldn’t afford this last cycle full stop, so had to give up my home and rent it out to pay for the cycle The Cyprus clinic were great, they treated a lot of ladies for In their 40s and truly believed I could get pregnant. My co-ordinator had to push me over the line at every stage I had nothing much left to give.. but we got there and I owe her a lot. She always said you just need one golden egg and I tried to hold on to that. Going to Cyprus was daunting at first but you get used to it. Over all the cycles I must have had more than 40 embryos, I never had PGT testing, I don’t beleive it is a benefit at this age so stuck to my guns with that. Amongst other few changes in the last protocol, which you can see in some of my previous posts, I swear by merifort and I’m on Hydroxy which I wasn’t on previous cycles which I think has made a difference. In amongst all this I lost two natural pregnancies as well and having had 3 fibroid removal surgery’s due to reoccurring fibroids. I really sometimes thought I couldn’t go on. But I had to. I have an amazing trauma counsellor who I feel has saved me and continues to do so every week.

I know my post is long but I guess I want you to know you can get there and if you still feel it somewhere in your heart then don’t give up. I drew hope from all the amazing women on this site, and sometimes a post I’d read would just give me something to grab on to so I hope might give a little hope to you.

I wish that I wasn’t in this ‘club’ and none of us were BUT we are all amazingly strong even though we don’t feel it most of the time and have each other.

Wishing you so much strength in your next steps and strength many positive wishes for a good outcome.

If I can help with anymore info about treatment in Cyprus please let me know.

Lots of love as ever to every woman (and partners) here, wishing you all peace and happy endings.xxx

[Darcy1996 in reply to Nes1005]

oh Nes1005 you have been through such a lot, and fought so hard, I'm incredibly impressed by your resilience and your fortitude. It has taken it out of me with just 3 rounds so far...tho' it has helped my resolve to push on, funds permitting.

What a gorgeous and generous reply - thank you thank you.

Enormous congratulations and wishing you all the best for the rest of your pregnancy and beyond 💜

[Nes1005 in reply to Darcy1996]

Thank you so much for your kind words and thoughts. Truly I have come to the conclusion that we do have to believe just the right egg will come along so if you do carry on, then I am sure yours will. Really wishing you so so much good luck with your next step on the journey. ❤️❤️❤️

[Londonlady2024 in reply to Nes1005]

Congratulations Nes and sorry to hear of loss. You have indeed been through so much. Now you have to wait another 13 weeks min, it will fly by.

[Nes1005 in reply to Londonlady2024]

Thank you @Londonlady2024 for your kind and thoughtful message, it means a lot. I know you have been through your own tough journey and I draw inspiration from you and everyone here fighting on. I hope it will fly by and I keep going one day at time, holding on to this little miracle.

Thank you again ❤️❤️❤️

[Londonlady2024 in reply to Nes1005]

Hold tight onto your little miracle. If you suspect anything please go to triage straight away, by then you would be 24 weeks which is, hopefully a viable baby. Not long to go, it's going to feel like a long wait but just keep yourself busy if you are physically able to. All the best and keep me posted. Sending you lots of love xx

[Londonlady2024]

Hi Darcy,

Right, you don't have the funds to continue with current clinic. Now here's a plan. Just do it. Please, the clock is ticking.

Like Nes says, you really need to believe that it's going to work.

Decide whether you want to go for:

Spain

Cyprus

Greece

And then work up a plan whilst your hormones are rebalancing.

Book free consultations with a few clinics in those countries. You can ask them about success with oe for over 42 and above.

There's going to be lots of success stories but not everyone who fell pregnant is going to reply. Don't wait around.

It might take a few rounds to get your baby.

Don't waste time and you will work around that manager.

You might save £2000, you might save more. Either way, you need a fresh start and new clinic that is affordable.

Best wishes and thinking of you x

[Darcy1996]

Oh Londonlady2024 thank you so much for the proverbial arse kicking, it is appreciated. Dealing with hormones, grief & debt is a whammy atm. I’m normally such a planner too!

I’ve asked my clinic for our notes & test results & got an appt with their director to ask WTAF. We can’t afford to stay but I’d love his opinion.

We went to the fertility show before and met lots of clinics so I’ve got a stash of brochures to dig out. My partner loved the Spanish ones but we can’t realistically afford those either which helps to focus us on Greece & Cyprus.

The time pressure + debt pressure + hormones is real ey? Thank you so much