Our hopes were finally dashed yesterday after getting a miracle BFP at 44 years old. Had a scan yesterday at 10 weeks at recurrent miscarriage clinic which finally found no heartbeat. 😞
They have asked me to go in for another scan at EPU this morning and to then decide on best course of action. I cannot face going in again to sit in a waiting room full of pregnant women to be given a leaflet so I was wondering if you have any advice on which route is best to take?
What is the surgical option like?
How long have people had to wait for a 10week pregnancy to expel itself naturally? (I took misoprostol last time which I found quite traumatic)
Thanks for your advice. This never gets easier. 💔
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Rowan80
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I’m so so sorry to read this - sending you lots of love.
I really wanted to go down the surgical route but it happened before I was booked in - within a week or so. My situation was a bit all over the shop but it didn’t take too long to start - it’s just taking a while for my HCG to get back to normal which is what I didn’t want but it was out of my hands in the end.
I would have opted for the surgery just to get it over and done with but my experience of the natual route was “manageable” if that’s even the right word! X
I’ve not had misoprostol but happy to share my experience of it happening naturally which was not painful at all to be honest, not huge amounts of bleeding - I just felt quite unwell after the main products had come out but only for a short time. Dizziness etc. The hospital said this can happen when your body absorbs most of the blood itself if it’s left to its own devices. It really wasn’t anything like what I expected - I was prepared for the absolute worst but it was actually okay.
Very very aware this isn’t everyone’s experience but this was mine xxx
So sorry to hear this, my heart goes out to you! (if you search the posts for miscarriage options, there are hundreds of stories explaining their experiences).
I can only comment on surgical, suction (D&C). This isn't to scare you, only make you aware and advise you to go to hospital if you end up in more pain after a surgical procedure.
I was grateful D&C was my only option at the time, however they didn't get all pregnancy products (I wasn't advised this could happen either) and I still had a miscarriage at home over 7 days (I thought it was my Adenomyosis causing issues so battled through in agony) if you do choose surgical and you end up in increasing pain, please go to hospital.
I hope you have the support and guidance you need at this horrible time. Best wishes x
Gosh its so heartbreaking isn't it - I'm so sorry you're going through this.
I had similar in June (8.5 weeks no more growth) and opted to pass naturally. However nothing happened for 4 weeks so I opted for medical management (which to me was excruciatingly painful) but 2 weeks later was still testing positive. I went for another scan at the EPU and they saw 3cm retained tissue and said it would probably come out with my next period. Fast forward a month and still bleeding and testing positive so went for a private scan and the consultant was shocked with what she saw. My uterus is full of fluid and tissue, massively swollen and distended. So I'm booked in for surgery next week.
It's been 4 months. In hindsight I would have gone straight for a D&C and get this over and done with. It's dragged on and on. My advice if you wanted to pass naturally would be not to wait too long. If it doesn't start within 2 weeks then get it over with.
Thank you for sharing. Sounds like you had a rough experience- I’m sorry 😢 I don’t understand why the body doesn’t want to get rid of it naturally when it obviously isn’t viable. Thanks for the advice x
I am so sorry. I also had a mmc discovered at 10 weeks and i had a D&C the following day. It was quick and easy. It was not a happy situation of course but it was a relief.
You were so brave. I don’t think I could have made that decision on the day of the scan. Was the D&C painful and how long did it take for your cycle to return to normal after the procedure ? Thank you x
No, it wasn't painful at all. I took some paracetamol and i was ok. The following day i went downtown to meet a friend to clear my head a bit and i felt absolutely fine. The downside was that i was so scared to try to conceive again for many many months. 1 month later my cycle came back. Take care. xxx
I’m so so sorry 😢💔 I was 10 weeks at my last misscariage (although measuring behind maybe about 8 weeks size) it took about 8 days for bleeding to start and about 10 days to the actual misccariage atter they confirmed heartbeat has stopped and I stopped the meds. I just wanted to do it naturally at home (had a few misscariages before but these were a bit earlier) so I was a bit prepared for what it would be like and to be honest it was much the same as the earlier ones a few hours of intense cramping and passing tissue etc and then a heavier than normal period for about a week. I know everyone is different though but just wanted to share my experience in case it helped you. My clinic did scan me a few days after the intense cramps to confirm everything was passing as it should which reassured me as I was concious that I could need surgery etc anyways if it didn’t. Thinking of you, it’s such a horrible thing to go through 😢 xx
Thank you for sharing. I’m sorry you had to go through this. The waiting for everything (scans,bleeding) is just excruciating. I’d like to wait like you did but anxious about missing too much work. I’ll ponder some more. Thank you x
I didnt miss any work as the heavy bleeding and pain happened at the weekend but I did tell my boss that I might need to take some time off unexpectedly if it did start suddenly during the week and they completely understood xx
I'm so sorry to hear of your loss, it's so painfully devastating. I'm 43, I had a miscarriage at 12 weeks last year. I opted for surgery as I didn't want to pass naturally having been further along this time. I went to the EPU ward and was booked in for surgery 2 days later. The process was quick and less bleeding than if I had been at home. Though the surgery was near the maternity ward where I'd been for my 12 week scan so I found all that quite emotional. I think do what you feel is right for you, it's such a painful time that none of these options would ideally be what you want. Make sure you have plenty of support around you and take time to look after yourself. X
Thank you for your kindness. I’m sorry you had to go through that. It’s really unfair. That’s the problem, the EPUs are always near the mat wards and walking past them seeing heavily pregnant women is just horrible. Was the D&C painful? How long did it take to recover ? X
I was under anaesthetic so the actual procedure wasn't painful. I had mild discomfort and was spotting for several days afterwards on and off I think. I wasn't in as much pain as when I had a natural miscarriage previously. It was the emotional impact that took its toll on me for quite some time. I took time off work to recover. Thinking of you xx
I just wanted to say, I’m so so so sorry for your loss and that this has happened. I know we have chatted privately and I was so hoping your scans would be okay.
Personally I would never take the misoprol again, when I had it last year I found it to be horrific but really and truly this is just so hard whichever route. I ended up with retained placenta and had to have surgery anyway after all that so something to consider.
Sending you so much love and hugs, take your time to grieve, it’s heartbreaking.
I hope it’s not the wrong thing to say but keep the hope, you will have a happy ending..it will come.
Thank you. So lovely of you to message. Sorry you had such a horrid time. 😞It was a rollercoaster because the scans weren’t ok and then they were and then it all fell to pieces again so all of that waiting has taken its toll which is why I’m finding it hard to make this decision about the miscarriage.
I had the misoprostol last time and it was horrendous, I agree. But surgery scares me slightly .
Thank you for the hope. It’s always good to have some, although it’s looking like this maybe could have been the last time for us.
Hi Rowan80 I'm so sorry you're going through this. It's heartbreaking 💔
I was given misoprostol for my first miscarriage and also found it really traumatic (I don't know why they don't warn you of this!)
I've had another 2 mc since and let both happen naturally. My last one was similar to yours. Had a scan that showed no heartbeat, had a second scan to confirm, at 9 weeks and it just took about a week (after I stopped progesterone) to happen .
There was not too much physical pain. Some strong cramping in lower abdomen and back, but manageable (nothing like the contractions you get with misoprostol!) and nowhere near as much blood/tissue. It was just like a really heavy period to be honest.
I hope you're doing OK and have someone with you for support xx
Thank you for your kind message. Yes, the misoprostol was vile. Such violent contractions. I don’t know if I can’t go though that again. Thanks for sharing. It has definitely put me at ease x
I’m so so sorry for your loss. It is devastating. My MC was through an unexpected natural pregnancy and I hadn’t had a scan yet so it took me by surprise. The whole process from spotting took around 24 hours. And it’s cruel. I don’t know what the drugs might do but my biggest issue was the pain for which they don’t prescribe you anything. Quite bizarre because they do when you’re giving birth. Whichever route you choose, I would insist on some strong strong painkillers to help you through xxxx ❤️
It wasn’t until it happened I realised it’s actually 1 in 5 pregnancies for every single woman. Thats a cruel and unfair statistic and I really feel for you now. The NHS isn’t good at dealing with miscarriage so the more you can prepare (which must be extremely hard for you because it’s so emotional) the less hard the process will be. They give you pethidine for the pain in birth and I don’t see why this can’t be prescribed for a miscarriage. If it happened again getting the painkillers would be my priority. Take care of yourself ❤️❤️❤️ I hope you have a good support too xxx
I miscarried at 9+4 and my doctor advised surgical management. It was that quick and painless I felt guilty that I chose that option. I just had one episode of intense cramping a few days later.
My friend chose medical management and had a really bad time. She ended up bleeding massively and in agony and eventually having surgery anyway.
Thank you for replying and I’m sorry this has happened to you also. The surgical management definitely takes again the stress of having to see anything. You shouldn’t feel guilty though, there’s so much other pain we have to go through without needing to experience the pain of miscarriage. It’s definitely something I’m considering now. Thanks again x
I’m so sorry to hear you’re going through this. I opted for surgery under general anaesthetic about three weeks ago to remove a twin pregnancy. It was completely pain free for me and I bled very lightly for 2 weeks after. I’d highly recommend it because you just go to sleep, wake up and it’s done xx
oh goodness, I’m sorry you went through such a horrible experience 😞 Thank you for sharing. I’m slightly anxious about the potential for womb scarring but I guess there’s only a small chance of that happening?
I can understand that fear and I am a bit worried about that too so might take a different route if I miscarry again. Although I would opt for surgery every time if I felt it was definitely safe. The dr I spoke to said that tends to happen when you have multiple operations rather than just the one but I think the risk is still there with one :/ x
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