Something is eating away at me, Any advice to tell me I m being stupid is welcome.

[Cheeky_84]

We currently have a few donor eggs in freezing, due to start treatment soon. My husband use to smoke and stopped 10 years ago, I found out last week that he vaped, he said it was a once off, he was drunk and had 4 puffs. He said it was about 6 months ago but I know this was before his sample for the donor, and I am so disappointed but he doesn't see the problem. Am I over thinking it? Should I just ignore it? We have a good few eggs in storage, should I just be grateful? I feel so upset with him right now but trying to hide it.

[Beclp]

I don’t think 4 puffs on a vape one time will affect anything

All the best 💗🙏

[Cheeky_84 in reply to Beclp]

Thank you, this really helps as I feel so sad today x

[Beclp in reply to Cheeky_84]

I know every little thing seems so much more exaggerated when you have all your hopes focused on a positive outcome.

I hope you feel better soon xx

[Cheeky_84 in reply to Beclp]

Thank you, really appreciate this. I just feel so disappointed in him but I love him so much xx

[Beclp in reply to Cheeky_84]

Yeah of course

He had one slip up but it really wouldn’t affect anything.

[Cheeky_84 in reply to Beclp]

Thank you, really going to keep ur comment in mind xx

[Twiglet2]

I dont think it will affect anything and it’s not a big deal a few puffs. If my other half got mad at me for having a drink or 2 before egg collection I would be really upset as we all need to live our lives too and a tiny vape whilst drunk that they’ve admitted to is defo not something I would get mad over, maybe ask him if there’s anything you can do to help him if he gets the urge again. There are a lot more things in life to worry about and staying mad is only going to stress you and make things difficult for a situation neither of you can change now so you would mostly be hurting yourself 🤗 ps I’ve been there with the smoking and vaping and getting mad and I feel a lot better personally not carrying it on my shoulders or being angry about things xx

[Lelo3479]

Hi, I totally get your worry, and think maybe you're more angry as you maybe deep down feel he wasn't as committed as you to ensuring he did everything possible to ensure he had his sperm in as best condition as possible?

But scientifically, if he vaped 4 puffs on a nicotine vape that is commercially sold (I.e. No poisons or unregulated ingredients that are Teratogen's) then it will be absolutely fine.

If he vaped an Illegal drug, that could be very different and cause serious problems (albeit unlikely if just once and not in the 5 days before he gave a sample).

If it was an unregulated vape that contains a teratogen or an illegal drug and he vaped it in the 5 days leading up to his sample, can he not give a more up to date sample? Or by eggs in storage do you mean embryo's already created? If good ones you mean they passed PGT-A that's a great sign and would stop worrying ❤️.

Context: I vape nicotine instead of smoking cigarettes, I'm not happy I do it but have a plan to reduce the amount of nicotine prior to my next embryo transfer and throughout any hopeful pregnancy to stop before any baby is born. Hence a little bit of knowledge from research.

Best wishes x

[Millbanks]

Hi lovely,

I totally get the upset here - especially as us females go through SO much in IVF - you'd think he'd be able to hold off for this reason.

BUT he is also only human - we all slip up occasionally. This won't have affected anything at all so don't worry about that.

much love xx

[Hopeful_88]

Hi Cheeky_84 , I totally get how you feel, my initial reaction would be anger too. IVF is so tough and we want to dedicate everything to it in order to give it the best chance and the thought that something might jeopardise it is heartbreaking. But nobody is perfect! And I'm sure a few puffs wouldn't have a negative impact on anything. At least he came clean, I would forgive him and try and forget it xxx