Huge anxiety going into final round

[Yellow611]

Anyone got any tips with how to cope when you know you are having your final round of IVF?

We started over 2 years ago, since then we had one funded round on the NHS and got no eggs. We then had a trio stimulation cycle which was 3 round back to back, just trying to collect eggs as my amh was really low. Anyway we didn't produce any viable embryos.

We then made the decision to use donor eggs, we were lucky enough to get two viable embryos transferred but negative with both.

We are now down to our final 6 donor eggs, just taking the medication currently. However, since mid June when we secured our donor I have barely slept, I cant settle to anything, I am just worried about it not working. I was really low after it not working in March so I suppose I am not looking forward to how I could feel.

I know I should try and take each day as it comes and be positive but it's so difficult when it's so important to you. I also spoke to my partner about maybe having another go if none of these eggs produce a viable embryo and he doesn't know if he can go through it. I think that is now constantly with me, kind of wish I hadn't asked. I think I just needed a silver lining and potential additional hope. It is really hard knowing this could be it, I could be actually childless. I know there is adoption but it's too much to contemplate right now.

[HemBella]

Hi Yellow

I'm sorry I haven't got any tips or recommendations to share but just wanted to let you know you're not alone. It's a scary thought. I'm 42 and have one frozen embryo left after 3 years of IVF and not one BFP.

The only thing I would say is just take each step and each day as it comes. I'm sure you're doing everything possible and sometimes we just have to put our faith in what's meant to be.

Keeping everything crossed for you, I really hope this is it for you xx

[Yellow611 in reply to HemBella]

Hiya

Thanks for replying, it has made me feel better just hearing from you. You are right I think it's easy to feel very alone, but knowing there are other people out there with changes does help.

You are right as well, I do need to put my faith in what is meant to be with be, as I do believe in that.

Thank you, I hope your last one goes well xxd

[HemBella in reply to Yellow611]

thank you 😘IVF is a really lonely journey but this forum really provides so much strength and support from people who really understand. Feel free to reach out anytime xx

[Yellow611 in reply to HemBella]

I agree it really does, thanks a lot xxx

[Kookypie]

Hi

I think unfortunately the feelings you have are natural. This situation is hard so therefore you will feel apprehensive etc. But it's good you have the hard feelings now rather than bury them, it's a signal you need to take extra good care of yourself.

What I would say is the waiting is worse than anything I think once you start getting into the practicalities of having an embryo transferred you'll feel like you're doing something and have a bit more control.

While thinking about adoption fully is a bit much maybe just seeing the happy faces of some adoptive parents on Instagram might help a little bit. It might make things seem less final.

But at this stage we just don't know and it's just as conceivable that the treatment will work and you might be pregnant very soon.

Good luck x

[Yellow611 in reply to Kookypie]

Thank you for your reply, I think your right and it is just a tough process and I am probably just hoping for some way of easing it that doesn't exist!

Your suggestion about Instagram is nice, will maybe try that, there's nothing to lose.

Thanks x

[Judy18]

Hi Yellow611

I am in the same situation as you in regards to it being our last round. It is hard as it is so hard physically and emotionally and then the added pressure on it being the last go. I am trying to take one day at a time and know that i could not keep going. I have looked into adoption as well and felt that helped.

I also tried the ivf mindfulness app and found that helpful.

Sending lots of love xxx

[Yellow611 in reply to Judy18]

Well if you ever need to off load I will be alongside you! It is hard knowing it could just end and then that's it.

I don't know about that app, will I find it if I Google it?

Good luck, I really hope you succeed x

[Judy18 in reply to Yellow611]

Likewise. It is a pants situation but nice to not be alone. It is call mindful ivf and i think i found it on the app store. It is good! I really hope it works for you as well xx

[Yellow611 in reply to Judy18]

Thanks I am going to download it now, fingers crossed it helps, worth trying anything! Xxx

[Lancal]

I feel you 100%!! Last night I woke up in a fit of panic, and could only calm down after eating a block of chocolate!

I’ve had to get a bank loan and borrow money from family to secure this round. Suffice to say, this will be the last I will be doing. I’ve been able to secure 3 x day 5 embryos through a donor program, which are over 10 years old. I am beyond nervous. The fear of failure is making me physically sick.

This may not be helpful at all, but at times when I feel like I may not survive this, I start planning amazing things I will do if it doesn’t work. Massive, amazing things. Like moving to a tropical island and starting an Etsy page as work, haha! I think I will really do it if the IVF fails, as well!! Things my friends and family with children would never be able to do. If it doesn’t work, I’m going to ensure I have the biggest and best life.

Hang in there. You are definitely not alone. Having children doesn’t equate to the ‘best life’. It’s only one person’s version of it. There are many opinions on what ‘best’ can be. The biggest complainers are parents, in my opinion! All my friends with young kids ever do is complain. Sucks to be them! I’m going to go live on an island, haha!

[Yellow611 in reply to Lancal]

Ha ha ha-well I totally relate to the bar of chocolate! In the past 2 months I have put on 8 pounds-all I do is comfort eat.

Well it's really good you have 3 that's a decent outcome for your financial sacrifices.

To be fair we have said we will go to Barbados for Xmas if it doesn't work and I am desperate to move job, can't do that while this is all going on-so yes! I do hear you!!

I am really pleased I put up the post the replies I have really made me feel so much less alone and more accepting of the fact that it's just hard and crap, but I am not the only one.

My partner is just really fed up too-because he can't drink he feels really isolated from him friends. He is a massive drinker and so are all his mates, so if he can't drink he can't get involved. It drives me mad that so much revolves around drinking for him, but not much I can do about it.

Good luck with those 3 I hope it works for you xxxx