Hi. After two failed rounds of IVF using my own eggs this year, I’ve decided to move to donor eggs.
I have chosen a clinic, and they allow you to purchase 6 or 10 frozen eggs.
I have identified a donor who has a cohort of 6 eggs for purchase, and I am pretty happy with my choice. We share the same religion, and she was only 25 when she donated. They said they will also give me an extra egg free of charge.
I don’t plan on having any siblings, and so the matching team told me that 6 eggs should be sufficient. However, when I had my initial consultation with the doctor this week, she said that she strongly advises me to buy 10 eggs - as a cohort of 6 eggs only produces an average of one embryo. Needless to say, this rather freaked me out. I pointed out that I am using donor sperm - which is good quality, and should improve my chances. But she said the reverse is true - because the sperm is frozen, it reduces my chances.
I had excellent fertilisation rates when I used that donor sperm with my own eggs, so I don’t know if she is talking hogwash or not 🤷🏻♀️
To add to the confusion, I joined my clinic’s webinar last night, and they said that a cohort of 6 eggs produces an average of 1-3 embryos.
It will cost an additional £2,250 to buy 4 more eggs. I spent ages today looking for a second donor, but I can’t find anyone I like. They are either older than I was hoping for (e.g. mid-30s) or we share no facial similarities.
I hate taking risks. I don’t want to end up with one embryo from my cohort of 7 eggs, and then have to pay for another full cycle if it doesn’t work. What would you do? x
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The first we purchased 6 but got 9, only 1 survived to day 5 for transfer and unfortunately didn’t take.
The second round with another donor, we purchased 6 but got 8, 2 made it through to day 5, one transferred and 1 frozen. Successful transfer and now 21 weeks.
Hi Football61, We used a fresh donor and paid for all of her eggs, as there is typically a big reduction at each stage of the process. Even if all of the eggs fertilise (which is unlikely), not all will typically make it to embryo and then blastocyst stage and also it can take a few attempts for it to be successful. You might also find that not all of the eggs survive the thawing process. If it was me, I would therefore pay for more eggs, but it’s a personal decision. Best of luck with your next stage!
Thanks so much. I am very risk averse, and my inclination is to buy another 4 eggs. But I’m really struggling to find a second donor. There’s only a very small pool of donors who have 4 eggs, and I’m not drawn to any of them. It feels wrong to pick someone I’m not comfortable with when it’s such a huge, life-changing decision. Why can’t life ever be simple! xx
I think I know which clinic you are talking about so thought I'd share what they said to me. They said 6 eggs is recommended if you are aiming for one child. 10 eggs if you are aiming for more than one child. This was the doctor I consulted with that said this and also the Matching Team. Sorry to hear you are getting mixed messages, that's really not helpful. X
Thanks Skittles. Yep, it’s a bit frustrating. I was feeling quite excited ahead of my consultation, but I came out feeling really deflated. The doctor is also insisting that I have an Aquascan - even though I have no known fertility problems (apart from poor egg quality due to my age). My numerous pelvic ultrasounds have always come back perfect, so I have no idea why she is recommending this for me. I have significant problems with internal examinations (I’m going to have to do the transfer under sedation), so I really don’t want to have an invasive Aquascan unless it is a clinical necessity. The doctor also said that I should do a freeze-all - which I wasn’t expecting either! SIGH. Please do you mind me asking if you are sticking with this clinic, and whether you’re going to go for 6 or 10 eggs? Thanks x
I used a fresh donor. 24 years. 13 eggs. 7 made it to 5 day embryos. Also using donor sperm. I have not had implantation problems but am 46. 4th transfer (1 fresh 3 frozen) ended up with a pregnancy. (Now 16 weeks but not counting chickens yet as it’s a long journey still).
I suppose just saying that quantity and quality not the same and to me it still feels very much like science takes you so far and can put you in the best position but there is always an element of luck involved.
What clinics rate as the best embryos sometimes fail (with me starting with the best- 1 chemical 1 early miscarriage and 1 bfn with these double donor embryos.)
And they are only ever talking averages whether that be success rates, number of embryos etc. To have averages you have to have people fall outside those averages.
I’ve felt in this process like I’m one of those and I’m falling out of the wrong side. Oh to be a first attempt and success person!
You need to do what your gut is telling you. If there are only 7 available from a donor you are happy with I’d go with that because what if it does work. You get your choice. It sounds like for 10 there isn’t really a donor you are happy with and would that increase the stress and worry of the process for you.
It’s the unpredictability of the whole process which seems unfair as it’s already stressful enough! If only we could answer the what ifs!
Thanks so much for writing to me. It sounds like you’ve had a really tough time, but huge congratulations on your pregnancy. Wishing you all the luck in the world.
I’m pretty risk averse, so I’m definitely leaning towards buying an additional 4 eggs (and I think it will make the process less stressful, knowing I have back-up eggs). I’m just really struggling to find a second donor. This doesn’t feel like a decision where I can just toss a coin and pick someone - it’s a huge, life-changing decision. Gaaaaaah x
I think doing it in Spain made it easier. They chose the best match based on all sorts. It’s a lot of trust to give and normally I don’t place a lot of trust in people for major decisions but weirdly it made it less stressful. No second doubting myself and no really tough decisions. I’m weirdly comfortable with it.
Hi! On our first round using DE, we got 6. 5, made the thaw, 3 fertilized, but only 1 was normal (tested). We transferred that one and got a BFP, but miscarried at 6 weeks. So we just purchased more eggs but this time got 10. The justification made since because we had to pay additional to have more egg fertilized (the clinic fees) so if the next transfer doesn’t work, we hope to have more embryos on ice waiting. I wish we had got 10 at first. I’m in the USA, the 1st batch was $27k and the 2nd batch of 10 was $26k… purchased from different companies. We have our thaw on the 12 of Oct, so we will see how many fertilize plus we will test them again. Wish you the best of luck! Oh finding DE is hard I agree. I’m 6ft1, and it was very hard to find someone close to my height. Both of our donors were 5ft10 so close enough.
Good luck to you! I would love to here what you finally go with.
Thanks so much. I have to say, I was rather surprised when she made that comment about the sperm. I would have thought that using a sperm donor would increase my chances because we know it’s high-quality - even though it’s been frozen?? x
Thanks so much for writing to me. I’m really sorry to hear that your first round didn’t work, but wishing you all the luck in the world for your second cycle. I’ve been so obsessed with finding a donor who shares the same religion as me (I literally think she might be the only one in the whole of London), I haven’t even checked how tall she is 😅🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️
Bit of a different scenario but I froze 7 of my own eggs at age 35 and then thawed and used them alongside a fresh cycle with donor sperm. 6 out of the 7 frozen eggs thawed and 6/6 fertilised. I got 2 blastocysts from the 6. 1 transferred and failed. My fresh cycle (age 38) with same donor sperm, 13 mature, 7 fertilised but only 1 blastocyst. That one was transferred and so far has worked. So I have 1 frozen egg embryo left. The embryologist said it was very rare for the frozen eggs to do better than the fresh but I wonder if it was because they were younger. Just wanted you to know that 6 was enough for 2 blasts in my case but they sometimes throw around 10 frozen eggs as ideal for 1 pregnancy which is why I did the fresh cycle to top mine up (before I knew how well my frozen ones would do)
But conversely 6 would've been enough for 2 embryos in that scenario. Its very tricky to know but they're young eggs so hopefully would be good quality which I think makes the biggest difference. I don't think the frozen sperm has much issue, you have to do ICSI with frozen eggs anyway, or at least that's what I was told so they only need to choose 1 good sperm to inject.
Thanks so much. I think I’m leaning towards buying an additional 4 eggs - I just need to find a second donor that I’m comfortable with - and I’m struggling at the moment! 😩 xx
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