Negative result today : As expected I... - Fertility Network UK

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Negative result today

CocoDisney profile image
22 Replies

As expected I had a negative pregnancy test this morning. We knew the odds were against us, but it doesn’t make it any easier.

I’m not really sure how to feel at the moment, as we had expected this outcome, but until taking the test, I was still holding on to that tiny bit of hope, that maybe, just maybe we would be lucky enough to get a positive result.

After a long 2 week wait, and then this massive disappointment this morning, I think I need to take some time out today to process it all .

Other than my partner, this is the only outlet I have, and I know many of you have/are going through similar, if not the exact same experiences and scenarios.

Any advice/words of wisdom at this point would really be appreciated.

Wishing all of you the best of luck with your own journeys ❤️

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CocoDisney profile image
CocoDisney
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22 Replies
Lollypop1993 profile image
Lollypop1993

Coco we were the same and we had same results no exactly how you are feeling right this very second in the same boat with you. You are not alone and we will get there. Did you freeze any embryos? Can you go again xx

CocoDisney profile image
CocoDisney in reply to Lollypop1993

Thank you Lollypop1993. I’m so sorry to hear you didn’t get the result you had hoped for either. This journey is bloody hard!

I didn’t have any embryos to freeze unfortunately. This was our 2nd cycle, but the first cycle we didn’t even make it to egg retrieval. Due to my age & location we didn’t qualify for NHS, therefore we’ve had to self fund.

I suppose we need to speak to the professionals for advice and see what our options are, but if they give us the go ahead then we both hope to try again, regardless of cost etc x

Lollypop1993 profile image
Lollypop1993 in reply to CocoDisney

You go Coco you will get where you want to be. We both will just a matter of when we are at lister clinic in London and I do recommend. X

Crazycatlady007 profile image
Crazycatlady007

I am so so sorry to hear this - sending you lots of love.

There really aren’t any words but just know you’re not alone. Take all the time you need to process and I really hope the outcome is different if you decide to continue with treatment in the future. We’re all here if you need to chat/offload etc xxxxx

CocoDisney profile image
CocoDisney in reply to Crazycatlady007

Thank you Crazycatlady007. Having you all here to unload to, and knowing you all completely understand, is a comfort throughout this long and difficult journey, especially at the lowest points like today x

WHeatherW profile image
WHeatherW

I'm so so sorry to hear this. You really need to be kind to yourself and just be present in the moment, it's a lot to take in. Sending you lots of love and good luck for your future plans when you decide next steps xx

Bluekitten9 profile image
Bluekitten9

so sorry for you.. and for all of us.. in a similar position with a failed FET this month (I got a negative yesterday 😥). I’m 42, we got 4 good quality embryos from ICSI last year and have now had 3 failed transfers and a missed miscarriage at 8 weeks in December. Not sure we can go through much more although also not sure I can give up either… love to all of you going through this and thanks to those who are brave enough to post their stories.. it really helps to know we aren’t alone ❤️

Cep92 profile image
Cep92

Sorry to hear of your negative result. I had my 3rd failed cycle last Monday. No words of wisdom but just know you are not alone. Everything crossed for any future cycles, if you plan to continue x

Mercury363 profile image
Mercury363

Thinking of you. Give yourself time. Its so tough but we all understand where you are. It will get better xx

Kitkat10 profile image
Kitkat10

I’m sorry to read this, I know how you feel, I’ve been there and it’s heart breaking. I had 2 failed cycles aged 40 and I felt totally bleak and hopeless. It does take more tries when we are older and I know you know all the stats and it’s a hard and expensive journey, but if you can keep going and hang in there, it can work.

My son was born when I was 41 and I only had one egg which fertilised normally, so I hope this can lift your spirits, that even when it feels like everything is against us, it can work.

I hope you can try again and move forward, it’s a really tough time. Be kind to yourself and process this cycle and then see how you feel. Good luck in everything ahead x

Christianbaby profile image
Christianbaby

I'm so sorry you're going through this. Even when we try to prepare ourselves for a negative result, it doesn’t take away the heartache when it actually happens. That little bit of hope is so powerful, and losing it feels like a deep blow. Sending you lots of strength and hope, even though I know today is especially tough. x

Lelo3479 profile image
Lelo3479

Awwww so sorry ❤️💐🙏 hope it's your time soon xxx

Lemons1986 profile image
Lemons1986

so sorry to hear this . I had a negative test 12 days ago . This was our PGT tested embryo and my second transfer I had believed this worked and did all the acupuncture and reflexology ,took all the supplements and drank all the beetroot juice like everyone said . No more frozen as they were abnormal and our fresh failed . So we are trying to decide if to do one more egg collection or give up . I feel i am not ready to give up but tired after 3.5 ttc. I wish I could take your heartache away it doesn’t get easier but you are warrior . IVF is a hard journey xx

AnnabelleH profile image
AnnabelleH

Hi, this is my 2nd cycle. Third failed attempt.

I know how heartbroken you must be feeling right now. I have never written in any of these forums before but I saw your post and realised we are not alone. Despite how lonely this might feel. There are other people out there going through the exact same experiences. We can all try get through this together.

I got my negative on Monday that just passed. We did everything this round. Acupuncture, Pineapple core, Beetroot juice, pomegranate juice, Brazilian nuts, Warm socks, Warm food, etc.

I previously had one miscarriage at 8 weeks with zero symptoms! Unexpected positive.

This time round I was on progesterone injections (my request) which gave me so many pregnancy like symptoms. My husband felt 100% sure I was pregnant. When we saw that negative test our worlds shattered. We were both shocked. Now I know for next time not to bother symptom spotting at all!

This IVF journey is so tough. I’m a qualified pharmacist and I have put my whole career on hold for over two years now for this. I wish I hadn’t because now I want to go private but I have been off work for two years so not sure how affordable it will be for us.

My husband has made the decision for us to take a short break from this. Despite me wanting to rush into a new cycle. I think deep down he is right because I need a physical and mental break from ivf. We have both secluded ourselves from the rest of the world. I’m okay doing that but I realise now that it’s not fair on my husband.

I also realise how much I have lost myself in all of this. I don’t find joy or happiness in anything I do anymore. A friend of mine suggested fertility yoga which helped her a lot. So I wanted to suggest it here too for everyone to try.

I wish you all a well deserved rest from this ivf cycle and time to heal. Best of luck to us all for the future ❤️

CocoDisney profile image
CocoDisney in reply to AnnabelleH

Thank you for your post AnnabelleH.

Reading everyone’s individual stories, just makes me realise how we all have our own unique journey, but all completely understand the turmoil and desperation for a positive outcome. It’s also shown me just how strong and resilient we all are, even when we’re at our most vulnerable and fragile.

It sounds as though you’ve already been through an awful lot, so I’m glad you’ve reached out and shared your experiences with us, so thank you for that.

I agree, the symptom spotting is absolutely all consuming, and I found myself obsessing over the past two weeks. Doing our best to try and stick to everything we’ve been advised to do, and all the information we find online, in order to hopefully improve our chances of success, only for it to feel pointless when you have a disappointing result at the end of a cycle, or at some stage throughout the process.

I understand what you’re saying about the seclusion and only being able to focus on this. It can definitely feel all consuming, and it’s hard not to feel as though you only have each other, as those around you can only understand if they’ve been through the same.

We decided not to share our IVF journey with family/friends etc, as I knew I just couldn’t cope with the constant questions and updates etc that I assumed I’d get. I felt ‘off grid’ for a while, however I continued to work, socialise a little, and do a few things at home (hobbies etc) that I enjoy and occupy my mind. But it’s really hard trying to not let this take over your entire life, and become all consuming.

Perhaps a short break, and some time to focus on yourself and each other might be helpful, and allow you to possibly try again if and when you feel ready to do so.

I’m sure it never gets any easier, but one thing I do know is that we are all so much stronger and resilient than we give ourselves credit for. Look at our stories, and what we’ve all been/are going through. And yet we keep going, we keep fighting, and we continue to hold onto that little glimmer of hope, no matter how broken and exhausted we feel.

I wish you all the best x

Endofitall profile image
Endofitall

Sending hugs. So sorry for your loss x

Vassi profile image
Vassi

I'm so sorry to hear this, it never ever gets any easier. Hope you have some support. Never lose hope xx

Slm123- profile image
Slm123-

I’m so sorry 😞. It’s absolutely heartbreaking. I am on my 4 FET and feel so sick about testing on the 20th. I have a feeling it hasn’t worked and it’s my last embryo ☹️. Big hugs to you and I hope you find the hope/strength and finances to keep trying. Good luck xxx

Thierry101 profile image
Thierry101 in reply to Slm123-

Sending you a huge hug and luck 🍀

We are planning on doing our 4th transfer either October / November cycles and the thought of it being another negative makes me feel so sick. It’s so scary xxx

Slm123- profile image
Slm123- in reply to Thierry101

Thanks lovely. I think I’m going to need it 😔. This waiting is driving me nuts but I’m really trying not to test early as I don’t think that will be good for me either. Fingers crossed that everything goes well for you on your next transfer. Have you changed your protocol at all or changed anything from your previous rounds? This is our first round with adding 1x Lubion injection per day. Xx

Thierry101 profile image
Thierry101 in reply to Slm123-

Hey. Sorry for the late reply, work was wild yesterday. You’ve got this 💪🏼

And the fact you’ve added lubion is good?

We’ve done so many changes over the cycles. Lubion, steroids, blood thinners etc.

This time we did another EC, genetically tested the embryos. I’ve had immunology tests done + doing ERA, EMMA AND ALICE tests on Monday.

It’s so so hard xxx

Kaarma profile image
Kaarma

Hi Coco, it’s sad know the test was negative. I also had two failures. Last time I was so confident and symptom all showed it would be positive but on the test date it turned out a strong negative. So don’t think of it much. there was always a new hope and good thing is yet to come. Stay positive and some time off you will feel better.

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