Absolutely gutted to get bad news at our 7 week scan, gestational sac but not fetal pole or heartbeat.
To add insult to injury have been asked to stay on meds - don’t have enough so will need to order and pay for more- for another week and be rescanned. But confirmed by 2 nurses that it’s pretty much hopeless. Has anyone just come off their meds in this situation? I normally follow everything by the letter but feels so pointless and triggering.
I’ve been so anxious after a miscarriage earlier this year but had tried to keep some hope that this could be a chance. It was our last embryo so have to start from the beginning again, not sure how much more of this I can take. Feel so sad to think I woke up this morning ‘pregnant’ and now just feel empty nothingness. No words.
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I’m so so sorry to hear that🥺🥺, were you still testing positive on digital / stick tests despite the fact no baby’s was found? I’m currently feeling like I’m gonna end up having the same when I go to my scan in a few weeks. I would defo keep taking the meds like they have recommended as hard as that is as I’d be totally like you and would want to stop! Have you had a bleed or anything? Always here if you need to talk, it’s a rough journey but I promise you will get there❤️
Thanks for replying. Nope not had any bleeding at all but guessing it must just be the meds stopping that.
I’d stopped testing 2 weeks ago as had a more than doubling hcg blood result so wanted to step away from the tests and try to just trust that things could be ok. Have just taken a test out of curiosity as I thought maybe it will have started to fade since two weeks ago when I last tested but it’s a very strong dark positive. I know that doesn’t mean anything though with the lack of progress on the scan. 😢
Are you on a fully medicated cycle? Maybe speak to the clinic and express how your feeling about continuing the medication but maybe they just want to be extra sure as could have just implanted late and baby might be a few weeks behind🤞🏻. Did you have a fresh or frozen transfer? I will be thinking about you and keep me updated❤️
Yes fully medicated frozen cycle. I’m pretty certain it’s just a bit of a tick box policy with the extra weeks wait. I had to do that with my mmc aswell (after seeing a heartbeat and then no heartbeat so knew there was zero chance of working but still had to wait).
I just want to move on now but stuck in this limbo for at least another week 😔
But yes think that’s a good idea I’m going to ring them as we were a bit shellshocked at the time to ask many questions. Thanks for the nudge ❤️
What an awful time you’ve had 😢, I’m praying and manifesting next time will be your time❤️. Yeah defo speak to nurses and see what they say, must be hard continuing all those meds knowing that there’s nothing there☹️. You on the pessaries twice a day or more?
Yes thought this might be some light at the end of the tunnel but sadly not this time. Thanks for your kind words ❤️
Pessaries 3 times a day and an injection! It’s going to be a tough week. Spoke to the nurse and again pretty much said it’s highly likely this is a negative outcome but would be going against medical advice to stop. So just going to take it and try to power through for the week. By the end of September hopefully this will all just be over. 🤞
Heart breaking when you get so far and it all comes to an end😭😭, I’m so nervous to test again on my official test date and then for my 7 week scan, such a horrible journey but the outcome will be worth it and I believe we will both have our babies soon❤️
I’m so sorry to hear you’re going through this, it’s devastating. We were in this horrible limbo a week ago and sadly it was confirmed on Thursday that nothing had progressed by the second scan. I continued with the medication but I did feel like my body was trying to reject the pessaries as soon as I put them in. Sending a massive virtual hug xx
Thank you and I’m sorry this has happened to you too. I’ve just had some of my meds and really felt the same with the pessaries. It feels horrible as if I’m fighting or tricking my body when I don’t want to. Hope the next stage goes a smoothly as it can for you. My previous loss was far from straightforward so I’m hoping this time things are a bit simpler at least. xx
I’m sorry to hear your previous loss was so tricky, it’s so hard to know what is best to do. I’m waiting a week to see if anything starts naturally. Although my last miscarriage I ended up having medical management. Always here if you would like to talk, the week of waiting is just so tough so do look after yourself in anyway you can xx
So sorry to hear your news. Words cannot convey how much this hurts and sucks.
I'm a serial miscarry-er, and whilst I have zero medical training I cannot see why you have been told to continue with meds. And I think that's the key thing -no one has told you why.
I think you're absolutely more than entitled to ask the clinic/your consultant why this has been suggested, especially given the additional cost. I would also ask them if continuing to take meds at this point will change outcome/lead to a live birth. If they cannot tell you definitely, then ask for percentage chance. You can then make your own mind up as to what you do, but it will be informed consent, not just going along with something that seems nonsensical because you have been told to.
If your clinic will not help you, then I'd suggest going to your EPU (depending on where you live this may or may not require a referral from your GP. They will certainly tell you what's what, but you do have to ask those really precise questions. I'm really sorry that you do.
If you've had PGT-A, or even if not, and you've now had 2 miscarriages with no live births in between, you qualify for investigation on the NHS. Normally it is 3 but the Tommy's clinics at Birmingham and Coventry take referrals after 2 (don't worry, you'll not necessarily ahve to attend in person on site).
Now, likely, they'll find nothing (apologies for the bluntness, but that is just the fact of it, most remain unexplained even after testing) but it might give some more info/peace of mind.
The reason I mention PGT-A is because the majority of miscarriages are due to something going wrong with the embryo (as someone quite callously, but also sort of helpfully, told me -human reproduction is very wasteful). Therefore, you might not want to go through the testing as the chances are it is just really sh*tty 'luck'.
However, if you've had the PGT-A testing, this is less likely (but still not impossible). So you might want to go ahead with testing. Link to the Tommy's info on this below (who work with the NHS and provide more tests than standard NHS recurrent loss clinic).
Ultimately, no one can tell you or advise you what to do in these situations but wanted to give you the info so you can make informed choices and because clinics are highly unlikely to promote NHS testing, just more cycles or private tests (with limited data to support them).
Really sorry if the info is overwhelming at the moment, do take time to process it when you're ready. And once again, so sorry you're having to even think about this all. xx
Thanks for such a thorough reply. I’m sorry you’ve been in this boat at all but appreciate you sharing advice based on your experiences.
I did ring my clinic and they just said that although it’s highly likely this will have a negative outcome they cannot say for sure after one scan. That it’s my body and my decision but I would be going against medical advice if I stopped my medication. And I’m not comfortable doing that even though it’s seems like a box ticking exercise. I asked for percentages and she just said it would be very unlikely but wouldn’t put a number on it. I didn’t have the energy to really push it any further as just want to focus on moving on mentally and then can start to move on physically next week.
With my mmc I had to wait a week still with the epu even though we’d literally gone form heartbeat to no heartbeat so unfortunately dont feel they’d be much more help.
I will look into the Tommys support as didn’t realise I would be eligible - thank you.
We haven’t had pgta testing but have been advised that’s what they’d recommend we do next. I’m hopeful this might help us but also nervous about the risks to the embryo or discarding healthy ones. But can’t keep doing this without trying something different, it’s exhausting. As crap as I feel now my later loss was just horrendous and if we can take steps to help avoid that I think we have to try.
Do you have any advice on what to ask regarding pgta testing? I thought about my clinics success rates with live births (could only find clinical pregnancy rates) and the risk of damage?
I hope you’re doing ok wherever you’re at on your journey xx
No worries at all. I wish this sh*t was taught somewhere other than online forums -we all need the equivalent of big sisters going through this!
Your decision sounds so wise -you've listened to yourself and what you need to do in the process to feel OK in yourself. You can never make a better decision than that.
Gosh, I'm sorry it was such a long wait with your EPU last time -it's such a blo*dy lottery with care. It shouldn't be.
I hope you get good advice on how to manage the physical side of things. I've got bit in old posts, if that is helpful. You can also ask about karyotyping of your current pregnancy, given that you're at threshold for referral now. They might say you need to wait until 3 but they might not.
Yes, I think it's really hard to get info on eligibility for testing and it's not exactly the first thing on your mind when you get this sort of news, so wanted to pass on. the testing isn't super invasive either -a blood test and an internal scan (and you get enough of those with IVF!) so might be worth it. My wait to be seen from August last year was about 4 months with Coventry. Had the tests done at my local hosp beforehand, so all info was there by the time I had my appt, which was via phone call. Your GP makes the referral for you, so no need to wait on hospitals or clinics.
They might not find anything, but it might be something to consider, to rule out. Chances are, it's sh*tty luck but they can test for both embryo and uterine factors that cause miscarriages to happen, so you might want to rule out those that are less invasive.
I'm not sure I have advice on PGT-A, really, but I can tell you why we made the decision we did. TBH very little was based on the embryo itself. I thought about both the risk of further losses to my fertility (there's always a tiny risk of scarring, and I'd had 10 losses before started IVF) and the social impacts of further miscarriages (impact at work/with friends) and the mental health impact on us both.
For us, as well, we underwent IVF to try and reduce chances of having further miscarriages. So it made sense to do all we could to achieve that. And, finally, I was 38, almost 39, when we started IVF, so PGT-A made sense with my age as well.
We asked our genetic counsellor about damage etc but the rates of that and false results were so low (less than 5% for all), that we felt confident in going for it. I think this varies a lot based on clinic and lab used though (happy to DM who ours were). We also talked though what their policies were on mosaic results and survivable aneuploidies (e.g. Down Syndrome) and made sure these aligned to our thoughts (again, this can vary by clinic).
For us, it worked out -we had very clear results with 50% of our blasts being euploid and 50% being clearly aneuploid and these being ones that meant our embryos would not be viable.
It is a personal decision though, but if your clinic has a good genetic counsellor, I'd recommend talking with them and also having a look through HFEA website on add-ons your clinic might offer (hfea.gov.uk/treatments/trea... and ESHRE's guidance on Recurrent implantation failure and recurrent miscarriage (tests are similar but different and the evidence for both is useful to consider, I think) eshre.eu/Guidelines-and-Legal.
Again, I'm sorry you're having to even consider this stuff, but I hope the above is helpful in knowing that there are next steps and for you to think about (and feel out, emotionally, if that makes sense) what is best for you.
P.S. Depending on dates of your late loss, you can be eligible for all the recurrent loss testing after 1 miscarriage, if it is later than 13 weeks, you should be offered testing.
Might not be relevant, but including in case anyone stumbles across this.
Yes, it makes it less likely though and that might tip someone into wanting to do the investigations.
I've had 10 now, zero cause that anyone can find, based on current testing, and we know at least one was euploid (naturally conceived, so can't PGT-A but was done on embryo after).
PGT-A and karyotyping don't pick up every single possible abnormality, and don't go to the genetic level, only chromosomes.
However, if you've had 2 losses with PGT-A embryos the tests might be worth it (for clotting disorders, thyroid etc) as it could lead to finding something that can be treated and save both further emotional and financial expense.
But yes, they can and do happen without any kind of testing being able to find reasons (I prefer to think of it as having exhausted what science can currently tell us, rather than 'no reason' as there will be a reason, we just can't see it/test for it yet).
The same happened to me but they offered 2 HCG bloods in the days after the scan which confirmed it was non-viable and then told me to stop meds. They said they ‘didn’t make decisions on the basis of a single scan’ . I guess I had a scan and also bloods before they told me to stop meds. It’s heart breaking, I’m so sorry x
I’m so so sorry to hear this. I am going through exactly the same as you. My second scan is tomorrow and I was told to carry on medication. I’ve found it really hard and have said many times I think it’s cruel they keep you on meds but i decided to think - even if there is a 1% chance then I’ll give it a try. Does feel like false hope but I’ve put my trust in the clinic so far so going to continue. Got to admit it’s been a really difficult week to wait but I’m almost there. All my pregnancy symptoms have come on with a vengeance since that scan which has messed with my head a lot. I’m absolutely gutted as this was our last embryo too, feels relentless but I’m in the trenches with you so I hope this makes you feel less alone x
Oh I’m so sorry, it’s really hard isn’t it. Hope you can at least get some clarity/ closure with the scan and can maybe start to move forward. Well done on making it through this past week.
I know, symptoms have been so strong too, has made me feel like I’m losing it when there’s not actual progression there.
Do you think you’ll try again? We definitely will but know it’ll be a few months before we’d even have a shot at another transfer. (If we ever get this far again, the thought we might not makes me sick). We’ve been advised to do pgta next time but have lots of questions about it as seems to get a mixed review.
Take care of yourself and do whatever you need to to get through this next bit of time xx
Yeah I think in a weird way it’s helped me process, even though it’s been torture. I’ve thought about the options they told me about re miscarriage so I am going back armed with questions to make my decision. I know we’re all different but now kinda looking back on the week it’s gone quite quickly even though it’s not been nice. It’s hard because I keep reading miracle stories online which probably isn’t helping!
I think we will - this is our second round of IVF. no embryos first time, two second time - this is the furthest we’ve got. I am also dreading not getting back to this point again.
One of my questions is how long we’d have to wait. My consultant already prepped a new protocol after our last failed transfer(nice and positive lol) so if we’re gonna do it then I’d kinda wanna just crack on. The waiting of this whole process is what I dislike the most!!
I will be thinking of you this week and hope you’re alright. Inbox is always open if you want to chat xxx
I’m glad that you’ve been able to take something from the wait. I rang up yesterday to ask a few questions as my brain just wasn’t working after hearing the news! Really good to go in with questions and feel informed. I guess it’s one of the things we can actually do something about in this whole process.
I’m usually google mad but haven’t really searched this time as feel a bit resigned to my fate. But I’m glad there are some positive stories out there, makes me feel a bit less annoyed about staying on my meds! One day down today anyway.
Totally agree the wait is the hardest bit for me too, just feels like wasting time and not doing anything towards your goal. We’ve been advised to do pgta testing next time so do feel positive about something significantly different happening but I know there’s never any guarantees.
Wishing you a speedy and successful round next 🤞all the best and hope everything went as well as it could today xx
I’m actually not too bad thanks. Just ready for tomorrow now. I know I’ll probably still be sad getting the confirmation but in my heart of hearts I’ve already known for a week so want to be able to get some closure.
Yeah I understand that - will be thinking of you tomorrow.
I’m okay - sorry tmi but process has started today for me so don’t think I’ll be having the surgical option on Friday as planned. So far I’m doing okay though xxx
So glad you’re doing ok. Oh that’s good, hopefully it’s as quick and all goes ok 🤞How many days after stopping your meds is that? Hoping it starts on it own for me too but think I’ll go for the meds otherwise, a bit nervous for surgery but the idea of it being quite quick definitely appeals- not that any of this is appealing! Xx
I stopped on Wednesday afternoon - thought it might have been sooner to be honest. It was a right faff with when I had to go in for the med route as I live a while away from the clinic so I just thought surgery meant it was over and done with. I just hope this doesn’t drag on and on. I’ve not told anyone about ivf or this and really trying to avoid telling work if I don’t have to xx
Yes I would’ve thought it’d be a bit sooner too. I remember it being a few days after my mmc but all a bit hazy. Oh that makes sense then, whatever can get things over and done with as soon as possible.
I haven’t told work about doing treatment either. Find it easier to have work as a neutral place though I can see why people do share or have to tell. I did end up telling my boss about my mmc as it dragged on for ages and had to have a lot of follow ups. Hoping this time will be smoother 🤞 doesn’t help that there’s currently a baby boom at work and all the there’s something in the water jokes. I’d down every last drop! Xx
Sorry to hear that, hope it’s all behind you now. Some people have all the luck don’t they! I know what you mean about the doom and gloom thing, I met a friend yesterday I’ve not seen in months and felt like I had nothing but depressing updates to share.
I feel like such a cliche but keep thinking new year new me, next years going to be my year. 2024 can get in the bin.
Thank you so much, I feel I know what’s coming but it’s still nice to have people sending positive vibes my way. Yes here’s hoping there’s better days coming for us both xx
I am sorry to hear. This happened to me some time ago. I stayed on the meds but it made no difference. However, my colleagues at work went in for a 7 week scan with his wife. There was no fetal pole or heartbeat. They were told to come back to see if the miscarriage had happened and guess what - there was a strong heartbeat!! She is 4 months old now! I know it’s a long shot and a cost but it is possible . Honestly, the IVF journey feels relentless. You have come this far so go the whole 9 yards and atleast you know you have it your all! I am keeping it crossed for you..
Sorry you’ve been through this too. I’ve stayed on the meds too but know the result will be the same.
Was your colleague doing ivf? I can understand this in a regular pregnancy as people often get their dates wrong. But haven’t read one example of this working out with ivf (not saying it’s impossible just from my google searching).
It is just that, I know I’ve done everything and followed every bit of advice we possibly could have. I guess that makes it both easier and harder at the same time! Thanks for your reply
So sorry 😢 but I’m glad to read you’ve stayed on meds as you can now have zero what if thoughts. I hope you get the shock of your life and little miracle next week.
Thanks yes it is more for me really so I know in my head I did everything. I think you’ve got to protect your self in any way you can with this. But yes absolutely would be the shock of my life!
I’m so sorry to hear you’ve gone through this, I went though exactly the same earlier this year where I was told there was an empty sac (blighted ovum). I know how hard those words are to hear when you go in optimistic that things are ok and that I must be pregnant because the pregnancy test said I was!! I was told to stop the meds straight away and expect a bleed which I had a few days later. The pain was horrible when passing the sac but otherwise it felt like a normal period but heavier than usual. I’m not sure why they are telling you to carry on with the meds unless there is a little hope? I’m here to chat if ever you want to x
Thank you and I’m so sorry you’ve been through this too. I honestly think it’s just protocol or maybe there’s a 0.000001% chance or something but I’m already getting my head around the fact it just hasn’t worked and mentally trying to move on from this pregnancy. I’m not hopeful at all, I just want the confirmation next week so I can physically move on too. I’m still taking my meds as have never been a rebel but seeing it as just another hoop to jump through in this process and me ‘doing my bit’ in every way I can. Hope there’s better luck in the future for us both xx
I am so sorry to hear this. I had the same 3 years ago at my 7 week scan but was told to come off the medication immediately. I will be thinking of you and hope you have lots of love and support around you at this difficult time. Xx
I had this yesterday. Went for my 7 week scan and was 6weeks 6 days. Told that she looked around but could only see a gestational sac. It was orbital in appearance but slighted jagged abd they said it was irregular. They called another nurse who basically said the same thing that most likely miscarriage and both offered condolences. I cried. Told me protocol is to rescan in one week- so appointment for Monday.
I tested positive 8dp5dt and got stronger. Did have spotting at 4 weeks 3 days for 2 days. Still getting strong symptoms today. Mine was a fresh transfer and was so happy when I got that positive and now I'm just upset remembering. This nausea and metallic taste is not helping me process this. I did a test early this morning and got a dark positive but heard this can continue for a few weeks.
Not really too hopeful but have read it working out for some people but mostly not. Was so excited yesterday thinking I was going in and would hear the heartbeat of my soon to be baby
I’m so sorry, it’s just horrible isn’t it. It felt so nice to have a bit of hope for a short while for it to all come crashing down 😔 I hope you’ve had some space to try to process things today? It’s not easy when still feels like we’re in limbo though.
Yes it can take a while for the positive to fade. They said to me yesterday that if nothing had changed next week they’d talk through options but basically I’d need to stop the meds and take a test in 3 weeks which by then should be negative. If it’s not negative by then they’ll reassess.
Hope you’re doing ok as you can and wish you the best for next week 🤍
Yeah it's the not knowing and losing hope. Yesterday had symptoms and today I don't know if I'm getting in my own head but not feeling symptoms as much as in the back of my mind it's just the thought "my pregnancy didn't work".
Nit looking forward to Monday and I think them speaking of the options is going to be upsetting enough.
Hope you're doing okay DancingQu33n and finding a way to distract yourself.
This happened to me and i was told to come off medication so I don't know why that have said keep taking it. I was fine the day after then I started bleeding the day after please private message me if you want anymore information because it's quite triggering what I went through. So sorry for you xxx
Yes it does seem odd that different clinics have different protocol on this kind of thing. Feels like I’m prolonging the inevitable but decided to just go with it. Trying to take it bit by bit and just thinking well this time next week at least that first step will be over. Then I can focus on building myself up for hopefully better luck next time.
I hope you have better luck too if you’ve decided to try again. Take care xx
I’m so sorry to hear about your news. You didn’t mention, was there a yolk sac? I know it’s hard but it’s standard practice to continue meds for another week just in case the embryo implanted late. I think if you stopped meds now you might always wonder what the outcome would have been. Sending hugs x
Thank you, no they didn’t mention a yolk sac. I think it’s what they used to call a ‘blighted ovum’ ☹️ Will keep on with the meds for the reason you’ve said but don’t feel at all hopeful. xx
Mine didn't mention anything else either but I'm sure I saw something in the sac. They were more preoccupied by the shape of the gestational sac which was oval but slightly jaggedy if that makes sense
Yeah I think I can picture it. Mine wasn’t jaggedy but sure I saw something too. It’s honestly a bit of a blur though now. Definitely didn’t see a yolk sac as I know they’re like a perfect circle.
Thank you for thinking of me ♥️ I’m doing mostly ok. Feel like I’ve accepted as much as you can with this sort of thing and just want to be able to start the physical process and move on. Haven’t really felt sickness for a few days but feel totally drained. I suppose that’s likely a combination of things.
Glad you’re getting your head around what’s happening. It’s all such early days still but that sounds like a positive start. Hope you have some nice plans or can just relax over the weekend.
I sort of feel like I’m just ticking off the list of next steps now before hopefully trying again late this year or early next🤞I don’t know if that’s a good thing or not but it’s keeping me going. Do you think that you will try again in the future (if things are confirmed next week?)
Sorry it’s been a tough week 😞 I feel like I was like that the first few days and have felt pretty flat and tired all week but then just counting down the days. My appointment is tomorrow too and do feel a bit anxious about it but weirdly maybe a bit relieved too as can actually start moving on properly then. I hate being in this limbo.
Thanks have actually caught up with a few friends this weekend which has been a nice distraction but also a good chance to just vent. Hope you’ve had a good a weekend as possible too.
That’s really positive that you have another blastocyst, everything crossed that’s the one 🤞xx
I'm hoping so. My husband has been saying prepare for the worst as I always hope for the best and get upset. I've been busy this weekend out and about which has helped take my mind off things.
I hope it all goes well for you too.
What clinic are you with, if you don't mind me asking x
Thank you. Glad the weekend has been a bit of a distraction. I’m with one of the Care clinics. They have been pretty good overall despite the outcome 🫤 xx
so sorry you’re going through this - what did you do or what ended up happening? Found myself in the exact same position Thursday, I’ve asked my clinic to rescan me in a week just as I’m due to run out to save me ordering and paying for more. Epu want me back in two weeks but like you said it’s so triggering being expected to continue with all meds during that time after being told there’s little to no hope. Hope you’re doing okay xx
Thanks yes I’ve continued with my meds - did have to order some more. I wanted to feel that I’d followed every recommendation from them even though it’s felt pretty pointless. Have just taken what will probably be my last ones this morning. Have got some left over but can use them in my next cycle.
Sort of ok but awful nights sleep feeling anxious. Will update after my appointment xx
Hey hope you're doing ok. Thought I'd update here as had a nightmare at the end of it. Turns out they couldn't find the sac. What they thought was an irregular shaped sac wasn't they were just looking so hard they wicked my lining to be that (like line eyes i suppose)
Couldn't see it and I was referred as emergency to EPU. Turns out they tho8ght ectopic or PUL.
I Opted for laparotomy to check if it was an ectopic as they did 3 ultrasounds total and said tubes looked fine. Ended up being an ectopic and they operated on my left tube. My levels had climbed constantly. Lucky I asked for hcg.
The surgeon showed me a picture of my uterus fallopian tubes and of the embryo. Perfectly shaped sac all in tact and had not broken. Baby just implanted in the wrong place which was upsetting
Just had one week post op blood test and levels have now fallen drastically so am hopefully in clear now and recuperating.
Oh I’m so sorry that’s so hard, what a shock. Very lucky you asked for the bloods, absolutely confirms the importance of advocating for ourselves through all of this. Sorry for your loss and hope you’re doing ok as you can 🤗
Good you’re having some proper time off. In hindsight I think I should’ve taken some time but haven’t and think I’ve not rested as much as I should’ve done. Can’t seem to shake my tiredness and that’s probably not helped.
Other than that I’m doing sort of ok. Have a follow up booked with the consultant so feels like that’s something more positive to focus on and look ahead.
Bleeding has been a bit odd for me too. Very heavy for a few days then slowed right down, then really heavy again. Seems like it’s mostly stopped now, thought I might not even need a pad then had more yesterday out of nowhere. The nurse said it might be a bit stop start so not worried but is lasting longer than I expected.
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*warning* scan news
7 week scan. No heartbeat. 
20 week scan today
Everything perfect so far (7 week scan-done!)
6 week scan,not great news
