Ethnicity of a double donor baby

[Doodlebug23]

I’m filling out the first official set of paperwork, I’m struggling with the box for ethnicity. Both my donors are Spanish. But I know I’m classed as the biological mother, so I’m not sure what the correct answer is. Anyone have any idea??

[Believers]

is there a European box? I’ve not considered having to do this myself….its interesting…

[Doodlebug23 in reply to Believers]

It’s a blank box…

[Believers in reply to Doodlebug23]

White European?

[Doodlebug23 in reply to Believers]

Or is she just white as I’m classed as her biological mother? I intend on telling her where she came from, but I know others don’t so makes me think maybe it is just white. Maybe I’m over thinking it?!

[Lana89]

Hi lovely I would say mixed race half Spanish half white if baba going to be tanned xxxx

[Doodlebug23 in reply to Lana89]

It’s not going to be mixed though as both donors are Spanish? Or are you thinking disregard egg donor?

[Londonlady2024]

Hi, you can select "Other White" or "Mixed White"

Hope all is well xx

[Doodlebug23 in reply to Londonlady2024]

But then I’ll have to explain why? What about those who aren’t planning on telling the child?

[Londonlady2024 in reply to Doodlebug23]

Right I see, in that case stick to white British because your baby will be born here in the UK x

[Doodlebug23 in reply to Londonlady2024]

It’s so confusing isn’t it! And google was no help!

I’m 22 weeks now and starting to enjoy pregnancy finally! Hope your little one is thriving ☺️

[Londonlady2024 in reply to Doodlebug23]

I'm sure it is, white British sounds like the obvious choice. That's great, pregnancy is amazing. Wait til those kicks get stronger...those swirls and squishes...they all count as movements.

My little boy was born last month, 3 weeks ago and I'm in love 💕 finally I have my rainbow baby. I was going to post my announcement but I know how triggering it for many plus with the added stillbirth 😢

[Doodlebug23 in reply to Londonlady2024]

My placenta is anterior so I’ve felt NOTHING yet! Already had 2 anomaly scans as although they can see all is ok they weren’t able to get the pics they needed first time as she wasn’t playing ball! And now I’ve bet told I’ve another next week as they were supposed to do something else but didn’t. So I’m happy as I get to see her again. Wriggling away but I can’t feel it!!!!

I understand where you are coming from. But I just love seeing the happy endings. Even before I got my BFP, as I think it’s a reminder of what we are all doing this for 💖

[Londonlady2024 in reply to Doodlebug23]

You will soon start feeling something I promise. My placenta was rare, it was bilobed like a butterfly so my placenta actually had both posterior and anterior sides which I never expected. The umbilical cord was attached to the posterior side. You will definitely feel them... initially light flutters to light jabs then kicks and swirls.

I miss my pregnant belly and the movement I have my baby son now.

Wishing you successful pregnancy. Hopefully they should be able to see your baby and get pictures forgot you.

I hope you are coping in this hot weather...xxx

[Doodlebug23 in reply to Londonlady2024]

I’m 22 weeks and they say by 24 so I really hope so.

Oh wow never heard of that!

Feet are always huge but who cares! Just an excuse to live in slides!!

[Londonlady2024 in reply to Doodlebug23]

Just monitor your feet swelling, it's common but can also be a sign or pre-eclampsia x

[Doodlebug23 in reply to Londonlady2024]

They do go down mostly overnight and also with the temperature. I have managed high BP anyway so they are monitoring me x

[Londonlady2024 in reply to Doodlebug23]

Brilliant; they will always check your urine and BP at every appointment x have you met with a consultant yet?

[Doodlebug23 in reply to Londonlady2024]

Saw consultant a few weeks ago ☺️

[Londonlady2024 in reply to Doodlebug23]

Glad to hear x

[Boo718 in reply to Doodlebug23]

I was exactly the same I felt next ti nothing pretty much my whole pregnancy. I first felt something around the 26 weeks mark xxx

[Doodlebug23 in reply to Boo718]

Ooohhh 🙈🙈 I keep waiting for it and everyone keeps asking!!!

[Lana89 in reply to Doodlebug23]

Hi lovely that’s true good luck with everything xxx

[CXCYCZ]

I just went with white British I think. Whatever I would put for me.

You will probably get asked about sickle cell. I did. Apparently there is a European version. I ended up getting the list of genetic tests they did on the donors and confirmation there were no issues as they could not give me any direct results for the donors. It was over 3000 tests long but gave them (the NHS) the info they needed.

Just be aware a lot of the NHS forms I had to fill in were not geared up to double donors. I do recall having to do a bit of explaining.

[Doodlebug23 in reply to CXCYCZ]

This is what I was tempted to do tbh. I do intend on explaining to my child where she came from, but I know some don’t. So assume they would put white/British.

Yes. I had the sickle cell question and I did google and see Spanish have a higher chance of it. Didn’t realise that! I alff so I asked my clinic who gave me a huge list of tests. I didn’t realise they tested for so much. I just forwarded that to the midwife who responded all was ok.

I have been surprised at how uncommon IVF and especially donor seems to be. My midwife was fascinated and o had to give her a quick IVF lesson!

[CXCYCZ]

That’s pretty much what happened with me. I’m definitely honouring the Spanish side of him and he’ll know where he comes from. I haven’t kept it a secret from anyone. I’m planning on taking him back to the clinic in November so he’ll have his first visit to Spain of many.

[Doodlebug23 in reply to CXCYCZ]

Yes me too. I’ve even thought about trying to learn Spanish with her (I’m very basic GCSE level), or how I could get her around the language somehow.

I have told people it’s Spanish sperm donor but I’m not telling anyone (close family and friends know) that she’s DE. Mainly as I want to tell her and I don’t want it to come from someone else.

I’m planning on going back to my clinic next year too! I bet you can’t wait. Will be very surreal being back but having a baby. It must be so lovely for them to see the successes. I always loved seeing babies there 💖

[CXCYCZ in reply to Doodlebug23]

I’ve also just seen the movement thing. It took ages to properly feel my boy. He had no regular pattern when I did feel him. There were some little flutters before 24 weeks but it’s only when they got stronger that I realised they were movements. Anyway I ended up going to hospital with reduced movement scans twice and then was booked in for CGT scans twice a week to check movements because of the anxiety it was causing. On that machine you can hear the movements and see them on the graph but even then it was only the big ones I felt, the smaller ones I could see and hear via the machine but not feel and I had a posteria placenta. He was a big boy (9pounds 14) and on all ultrasound scans was wriggling away.

They say if you are worried about movements to call them (midwives) and I found they really meant it. I was never made to feel like I was wasting their time even though he scored perfectly on the CGT every time!

[Doodlebug23 in reply to CXCYCZ]

I’m starting to get a little stressed about it now. Luckily I’ve had several anomaly scans - nothing wrong just uncooperative baby and sonographer error, so have seen her wriggling away, but I just want the assurance of feeling it. I’m back again this afternoon so may mention to the midwife.

[Zassa]

I would also say White Bristish - if you are. She would be white anyway when Spanish. The reason is that you probably chose donors that looked bit like you, at least the main characteristics. Also, we often never know where are heritage or ancestry we are from, in those tests most people will come up as a real mix - but you're putting the British based on where you were born and maybe based on your parents too. Then it will be the same for your baby.

[Doodlebug23 in reply to Zassa]

I wasn’t sure if she’s technically Hispanic. I think I may just put white.

[Boo718]

hello I put Caucasian. Xxx

[Doodlebug23 in reply to Boo718]

I googled and that says mostly European ancestry. I think that describes Spanish and English pretty well!!

[Boo718 in reply to Doodlebug23]

Yeh I thought so too xxx