First the good news: I made it to Day 5 and I have one blast on board!
Now for the bad. I had to go in alone as my wife wasn't allowed to have today off. I gowned up and that's when they told me that out of my 7 embryos (including 4 that were top graded on Day 3) I only had one poorly graded 3BC blast which was transferred. The other 6 will be kept in culture one more day but they've warned me it's likely none will make it to the freezer.
And that's not even the worst part.
When they got me in position for transfer the consultant said I had an "angulation" in my uterus which meant she couldn't get the catheter in place. She tried for around 20 minutes with two catheters but no luck. At one point she sent one of the nurses away for a more experienced one. Things were getting tense. My cervix started to spasm and I was so uncomfortable.
Eventually the consultant gave up and they called for a new consultant. He arrived and restarted the whole shebang while consultant #1 held the ultrasound wand. He finally got it in with his second catheter. By now it had been over 40 minutes and I had tears steaming down my face.
I'm now home and really shaken up, and feel in my bones that this is the end of our 2-year fertility journey. Obviously it's not quite over yet as I'm technically PUPO, but honestly this journey has broken and humbled me. I am exhausted and to those of you still on this journey-you are amazing!
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you are strong and patient for going through that and once determined you won’t stop until you get what you want. Am on cycle 3 of ivf and on my 2 week wait window. My first cycle my embryo was of grade 3 and I had a healthy little boy who is nearly 2 so don’t let the quality put you off
Keeping everything crossed for you-I see you're on day 5 so nearly halfway through! I don't feel very strong; this is my last attempt as I'm completely burnt out. But thank you for the lovely words.
Oh, what a nightmare! That must have been so worrying, especially not having your wife there for support, bless you. I had a similar scenario where the transfer was not straightforward and my partner didn't make it in time and I just burst into tears as soon as he got there. It did implant though!
As you say, you are now PUPO so try to take it easy and assume all is well.
Wishing you all the best. Really hope this one works out for you 🤞
I'm so sorry you had a similar ordeal, though I'm glad your partner was able to be there at the end. I'm not sure where you are in your journey but wishing you all the best.
I had a similar scenario in that I had 8 really good looking embryos on day 4 but when it came to transfer day, I'd just 1 make it to day 5. Its really horrible to hear that and you want to be so grateful to the 1 that made it and give it a chance but its disappointing and hard to keep your spirits up. I was on my own too. Totally get how you're feeling
But it really does just take one. Give this little fighter of the bunch a chance. We all just came from one embryo after all. Maybe some of the others will have sprung into action overnight as can definitely happen, but in the meantime look after yourself, plenty of good food and water and fingers crossed this is the one!!!
Hi Joey thank you so much for the thoughtful message. I took a look at your journey and I can see you've been through so much. Look after yourself too and wish you all the best!
Oh god what a stressful experience for you I'm so sorry. So on my first round we had 2 day 5 embryos, one they told me was a lovely, high quality one and would be transferred. The second one they told me in the transfer room wasn't looking great and probably wouldn't make it, but would be given until the following morning. Well next morning I was told that it had picked up a few more cells and had been put in the freezer, that embryo is now my 2 year old son. So it can happen. Keeping everything crossed for you and hoping the one transferred yesterday is a sticky one for you. When it comes to grading as well, there's so much that goes into it, both my pregnancies have come from my lower graded embryos. My top grade ones didn't make it.
Thank you so much and huge congratulations on your success. The other embryos weren't good enough to freeze so it's really down to the final embryo they transferred yesterday. So we'll see!
Clinic has just called to confirm none of my other embryos are good enough to freeze on Day 6 so they've been discarded. I was expecting this as it happened last time, but I am still distraught. Poor embryologist on the phone got a massive outpouring of grief and even offered to call me back as I was in such a state. I'm so heartbroken.
I’m so sorry to hear this. I can completely sympathise. I had 22 embryos during the course of two cycles last year - but had nothing to transfer in the end. Most of them just petered out by Day 3. I also cried my eyes out on the phone to the embryologist. Your experience yesterday sounds super-stressful, but thank goodness you have an embryo on-board. Wishing you all the luck in the world for your 2WW. I know it’s easy for me to say, but I hope you’re able to relax and hopefully you’ll get some wonderful news ❤️
Thank you so much for your reply. I'm so sorry you've been left with nothing to transfer after all that, it's really cruel when everything starts off looking so positive (if I had a pound for every time a nurse or consultant said I was "textbook"....). I do feel grateful I at least got one blast. I feel pretty relaxed about the TWW as I've been doing a lot of mindset work for my life after TTC. Would get the shock of my life if I got a positive! Unlikely, but stranger things have happened with IVF.
I really can empathise. This cycle I had 17 eggs collected but the following morning was told only 3 had fertilised.
Lesbian couple with donor sperm and the cycle before I had 14 collected and 12 fertilised with the same donor sperm so we were so surprised and disappointed.
We managed to get 1 embryo to transfer which we was shocked and greatful for but the transfer (our forth in total) was horrrendous! The pain was so bad my glasses were steamed up from my body heat. I have an angled womb and a bent cervix so they just couldn’t get in well… once she did … she started from scratch because she wasn’t happy with the positioning. Took around 25 minutes and was so painful. So I really really sympathise with you.
Oh that sounds absolutely heartbreaking, especially when you had such different numbers on round 1. I'm so sorry you've had to deal with that and I hope you get some answers from your treatment team.
It's so hard going in as a lesbian couple as my wife and I just assumed we would be 'one and done' as both had no known issues. But 2 years and tens of thousands of pounds later here we are, preparing to move on as a childless couple.
Your transfer sounds equally challenging and I'm glad they sorted it in the end. I don't know where you are in the process or the outcome of that transfer, but I'm wishing you all the best.
Hey first of all happy to hear that you have an embryo on board that's great. Congratulations. but sorry for what you had to go through for the ET. I had the same situation, infact mine was an experienced gynaec. I was told my cervix is curved (s shaped) that even the cather would not pass through the anterior opening of my cervix. Exactly took 30mins for my doc to confirm they will cancel the fresh transfer, she tried 4 times, even with a canula to open up, then she told she wants to get an hysteroscopy done for the next cycle to see if there are some blockages, cysts, fibroids etc. everything went well & ok. Then for the first FET, it was really quick less than 10 mins, I would say including the saline clean. I understand with a full bladder and a huge room, the most uncomfortable you can get. Big big hugs to you please don't lose hope. Good things happen to good people, you are in right direction. I wish you great success 😘🤗
Oh that sounds awful! My consultant was one attempt away from cancelling and rescheduling as a FET, and I don't know what I'd have done in that situation. You are an absolute hero for going back.
Bodies are so weird, right? My first three transfers were an absolute breeze, but this one was a killer. So glad your FET was smoother.
Thank you, exactly, every body but mine is an edge case I guess, every pregnancy is different. I am happy & thankful that this community is so supportive and being there for each other no matter what. ❤️
oh I’m so sorry for the loss of your embryos and the awful experience you had at transfer. It sounds really horrendous. I really hope that the blastocyst you have on board is nestling in now and will be the one! Wishing you all the luck in the world. Take really good care of yourself, it’s so hard all this
Thank you so much. Yesterday was really hard and I'm in this weird limbo where I just want to do some really intensive exercise or take a hot bath, but I need to give this little embryo a chance. Of course I want it to be positive more than anything, but I'm guarding my heart.
I can totally understand that, a desire to just rebel and take back a bit of control! It’s hard to hold onto hope when you’ve had such body blows. I hate the way they don’t tell you what’s going on with your embryos till transfer. We had the same, and it’s hard to focus on the one that made it when you have the bad news that no others did. And then to also be dealing with that awful experience of the transfer itself! My heart really goes out to you. I hope that today is at least a bit easier than yesterday and that things are looking up soon
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Second Transfer Successful! 
Heart broken and lost
Embryo transfer yesterday 
