to tell my boss or not

[Miaow1975]

Hi having my FET next Tuesday and need to book the time off work and know my boss is likely to ask if I’m ok as a I’ve had a couple of appts prior and don’t know whether to tell her why or not. I’m still within my probationary period in a new job and am unsure what to do in case it influences my job, anyone have any advice? Thanks

[Christianbaby]

If I were you, I'd consider being honest with your boss. Sharing why you need the time off can build trust and show that you're reliable and open, which can be really valuable, especially during your probationary period. Your boss will likely appreciate your honesty and understand the importance of your situation. Wishing you all the best with your FET! x

[Greenleaves1]

I have my FET scheduled next Wednesday and I'm taking sick leave from Monday for the TWW. My job has become stressful and I believe it's best for me. My manager is aware of me going through IVF and is supportive. He was the one who suggested using sick leave rather than annual leave.

Look after yourself and do what feels right for you xx

[Blahblahblahxxx]

Have you checked to see whether your new job has a fertility policy? They are becoming more common. From my personal experience - I was so nervous about telling my supervisor but when I did it was a huge weight off my shoulders. She had also gone through it and knew exactly how to offer support from an employment perspective and a personal one.

[Glaedy]

Hi, I had a chat last week with my HR, (I had attendance meeting because we change policy etc) and I raised my concerns if I need to get worried now, that I will be going through FET whichbis stressful enough and what if it will go wrong for me again, who do I need to tell anything. And they calmed me down that all I need is just let them know, that they are handling these things differently and I absolute don't have to tell anyone except of them - if I don't want to of course. Out of 5 times I told my boss twice because I felt that maybe I have to say something - my boss was understanding and wished me all the best etc but it felt weird anyway 😆

[fidgetmcgee]

I would be worried about saying why in the probationary period in case they are unscrupulous and want to get rid of you rather than potentially facing needing maternity cover etc for someone new. It would be discriminatory but very difficult to prove while you have so little protection/are still in probation. Personally I would consider giving a fake excuse but I might be being unnecessarily paranoid!

[Rjfguitfg]

I have a friend who told her workplace and they were very supportive. I told my workplace I was going through fertility treatments and they were supportive but I ended up regretting it, as I’ve had people ask how it’s going and I don’t want to talk about failed fets or let them know that I’m now pregnant early on. For me, it’s created a anticipatory feeling from the people I’ve shared with and I am not a fan

[HollyT7]

don’t tell them. It’s amazing how people change!

[MD54999]

I've gone through two rounds of IVF and two transfers in my current job and haven't told my manager any specifics. I just say it's either a minor medical procedure or a medical/health appointment (and sometimes that I've to book it off very last minute) and that's always enough for him to know, he never asks about it. I don't want to share any more details, work is the one place where I have no reminders of my fertility treatment so I wouldn't want to change that.