Help me ladies!
Started IVF over 1 year ago. Just found out today my 4th embryo transfer has failed. We still have 3 embryos in the freezer but I don’t think I can keep going?!
I am devastated and exhausted.
Reading into every ‘symptom’ convincing myself it worked to then be heartbroken, think I am going to go insane!
Any tips on staying positive and keeping going?
Hi RachyS28, I am so sorry. It is so tough. With where you are at right now, I wouldn't be thinking about those three embryos. Take some time to grieve this cycle and the embryos you have lost, and to recognise how hard it has been and what you have managed to get through. Try to recover a bit physically and mentally from the trauma of multiple cycles. Because it is trauma! It is so tough and sometimes we just need to shut down and look after ourselves. In a few weeks or even days everything will start to look brighter. At that point you can ask yourself whether you want to go again, or whether you want to stop. And remember there are options and it is 100% a choice. The only way I found the strength to keep going is knowing in my heart that I wasn't ready to make the decision not to x
Sending a virtual hug. It’s such a rollercoaster, you’re a warrior don’t forget it! I agree with Willow park, take some time out for you. The three embryos in the freezer are not going any where. It states above you are 31 you are still young, especially compared to me! Your heart will decide over time. Maybe explore some tests to check any reasons for failed implantation. Staying consistently positive is so hard, let your feelings out. Lots of love x x x.
It is a tough journey and can be so emotional at times. Give yourself permission and time to grieve and acknowledge these emotions. Focus on self-care and activities that bring you joy and relaxation, whether it’s a hobby, or an activity. You may also want to consider speaking with a therapist who specializes in fertility issues, they can offer valuable coping strategies and emotional support. Take things one day at a time and be kind to yourself. Sending you lots of strength and hope. x
I'm so sorry - taking a break from IVF and going on a pampering holiday with your husband, eat and drink and play might turn things around. Then it might be worth getting additional checks done if you haven't done so e.g. thyroid/immunity/thrombophilia at a RIF clinic and reviewing your nutrition. But what's most important now is your wellbeing. The embryos will wait for you!
Hello and I hear you, it is challenging time and right at this moment I would take a break by missing one period. I agree with all above comments on taking some time. I personally have taken one cycle/period off, I really thought last month I was losing it. I have joined this wonderful forum, taken a better care of myself by eating, sleeping better, going for longer walks and even took one pilates class. I must say, it helped a little. I hope this helps me to sustain for a while as I am diving back into stimulation again. I really believe that it is also to do with hormones changes. Hang in there! Sending also many virtual hugs!xx
oh I am so very sorry. What a lot to go through. It’s SO hard getting through a transfer that hasn’t had the outcome we wanted - last year it floored me. Not only did I not want to continue with IVF (at that point I’d done two egg collections and one transfer with the ONLY PGTA normal embryo we had from those two rounds), I also felt nothing in life was worthwhile. It was a bottomless and all-consuming grief and it completely took me by surprise. We ploughed on and did another egg collection which went well. But by Christmas my mental health was on the floor. The hormones had made my endometriosis flare to the point I kept needing to go to hospital for pain relief and it just all felt relentless. I hadn’t taken time to really grieve the failed transfer and it all just got too much and I just didn’t want to continue. I couldn’t face the idea of another transfer.
we decided to do a diagnostic cycle (era,emma,Alice tests) in January. I felt an enormous pressure to get the next embryo transferred, but we decided to let my endometriosis/body calm down from all the treatment.
As my hormones have settled, and I’ve had time away from it, finally feel more myself ready to try again (hopefully it will be a natural cycle on August) but it has taken that long. I needed to feel - even for a while - that my life was about something other than IVF.
If you can find a way to take a beat and look after yourself, the time can make an enormous difference.
But equally, if you don’t want to go ahead, you don’t have to. It’s all allowed ❤️
this process is such a rollercoaster and it’s not always realistic to stay on it without a break. Be kind to yourself and appreciate what an absolute WARRIOR you have been over this last year.
Maybe your clinic can recommend some testing and things that might be able to be tweaked for the future, but whilst you are feeling like this it’s so good to rest and give yourself some much-deserved peace. I promise.
Sending you so much love and solidarity xxx
It is a tought journey. When I had doubts I have come here and read the sucess stories. They always give me hope. You can see on those strories that the journeys of all of them haven't been easy, but at the end they end up having their dream come true.
On my first cycle and first transfer I've got pregnant, as you can imaginig I was over the moon....but then the problems started and by week 17 it was over.....the next time that I went to start for a new transfer I arrived crying because I was so afraid of having to go through the same things. Anyway....2 cycles and 6 transfers later I am finally pregnant again. Am I still worried? yes! Everyday! This last cycle I thought we were not going to do it because of money, but my family helped us, and we are so happy, becuase it was that extra that we need it.
The reason of me sharing the story is to give you hope.....a miracle might be around the corner, but it is not easy....Here, we all know it. It is sooo exhausting, mentally, monetary and phisically. Maybe you need a break, maybe you need to change doctors.....it is up to you but don't be too hard on yourself.
Best of luck
So sorry for you!😭🤗 Its a tough tough journey & I always say, not for the faint hearted!!! Dont think anyone realizes how tough it is until you go through it (however sympathetic ppl can try and be) It emotionally and physically takes it out of you!
I'm exactly the same age as you (31) and been through the same (although only had 2 transfers) but had every complication in between and i felt absolutely drained! Then i just felt i couldn't carry on after my last failed one and wasn't sure what to do as we so badly want our baby but also felt i needed a break! So we took a complete break for a couple of months - didnt even talk about it, went on holiday, came back and felt ready to go again, until i found out my mum was diagnosed with cancer! which really threw me!
But, this meant I was forced to take a break as we, as my husband and I wanted to care for her and my dad, and i'm sure this has helped us, as although its been tough, ive been forced to give my body and my mind time to recover all we've been through with trying for this baby (After 8.5 years!)
I now feel ready to try again, and we are actually in the middle of getting my immunes tested at (Prof. Shehata) and waiting to go back for the results, and sounds like they might have found something!! (FINALLY!!)🙏🙏
Give your body & mind a break - as my counselor said, you have every right to grieve your loses! and just embrace it for a few days, she said you are allowed to feel like it, then try and move on gradually. Nourish yourself, and just do tiny steps (like maybe some tests) WHEN you feel ready for it.
take care of yourself.
xx
Am I Going Crazy?
IVF or keep trying? 
Going forward.....
Going through the motions ? 
