Emotional support to keep going

[LallyLoops]

Hi all,

I have just had a chemical pregnancy on my 2nd IVF transfer, which makes it my 4th miscarriage in 1.5 years.

How do you all keep the strength to keep going? I am looking for any tips. The medication, the waiting, the taking time off work, the worrying, the sleepless nights, the MONEY... I don't think I can do this any more.

❤️❤️

[Christianbaby]

I'm so sorry to hear about your struggles. Prioritize self-care and find healthy ways to cope with your emotions. Don't hesitate to lean on your support system, whether it's talking to a trusted friend or seeking professional help from a therapist or counselor. Sometimes, simply expressing your feelings and allowing yourself to grieve can provide some relief.

Be gentle with yourself and know that you're not alone in this journey. Reach out for support when you need it, and remember that there are people who care about you and want to help you through this difficult time. xx

[LallyLoops in reply to Christianbaby]

Thank you 🥰 you're right, I need to talk to people. I'm not one to share my private life openly and noone around me knows about our journey. I live in my husbands country, so my family are not around, and only a couple of them know about it all. His family know nothing. I do have a therapist, so I guess she will bear the brunt of it all 🤣

Thanks for the support 😊

[Backagain987]

I’m so sorry for your losses. I was in a similar position and ended to having three natural losses and three IVF losses over seven years and six rounds of IVF. The best thing I did was take a bit of a break. I wasn’t sure I really had time because of my age but I felt I needed it to try and rediscover who I was pre TTC. We took about six months off. I ate what I wanted, drank what I wanted and we went on holiday. After a few months I decided to try and lose some of the weight I had put on during my cycles, and having something and an outcome that I could control (diet and exercise etc) really helped me because I had felt so out of control for so long. It also gave me some time to remember that we had a fab life before IVF and whilst I wasn’t sure I could cope with a life without children, it wasn’t a disaster option. Generally I felt so much better mentally and physically, and remembered who I was again. I also had counselling via Talking Therapies.

The happy ending is that we did eventually have a baby via DE IVF a year ago and she is my absolute world.

Heaps of luck, feel free to PM me if you have any questions xx

[LallyLoops in reply to Backagain987]

Thank you so much for your lovely reply. Taking time off sounds ideal, but I'm not sure it's a viable option for us unfortunately. You're right though, infertility completely changes your life. My life 2 years ago was awesome, now I'm sitting here in my PJs most nights of the week googling symptoms/healthy food choices / which position to lie in in bed after a transfer etc... really living the high life.

I'm so glad to hear you got your baby eventually! Positive stories give me hope. Enjoy every moment, I'm sure you are. 🥰

[Dormus01]

I’m so sorry for your loss. It sounds like you have had such a hard time of it.

My advice right now would be to allow yourself to process the grief. Something awful has only just happened to you, allow yourself to feel and digest that. Take it second, minute, hour, day as it comes knowing that every day has a sunrise and sunset. There will come point when you’ll feel emotionally ready to address whether now is the time to end this journey, I suspect that maybe now isn’t the best time for that.

My ‘prescription’ would be purchasing some decent tissues to mop up those tears, trashy fun TV, comfy pjs, a mug of something warm and delicious, purchasing yourself a completely unnecessary treat, takeaway dinner and just giving your a break. You have been through the wringer. Continue to post here if it helps, give yourself a safe space to vent those hard feelings . Sending you a huge virtual hug and know that we are hear for you xxx

[LallyLoops]

Thank you so much for your kind words. I haven't told anyone about our fertility journey, so hearing this from others is exactly what I need right now. The PJs are on and I might even treat myself to a caffeinated coffee. 🥰