Hi all - just wanting to talk some sense into myself..
I've had 3 now (does a chemical count?); I've read that the chances of miscarrying again increase after 3 ..
I only have 4 frozen embryos left, plus a day-3; whilst I'm keen to get started again (only miscarried few days ago), I'm a little scarred by the whole experience. So hoping to get some thoughts and maybe happy stories to hold on to?
Thanks for reading.
Sorry to read your post -hope you have people around you for support Be sure to take advantage of the counselling appointment you should be offered while on treatment
Thinking of you
Janet-Partner
sorry for all your losses. I went through 7 miscarriages, a chemical, early twins, a couple 1st trimester, ectopic and and a 2 trimester loss where my water broke at 20weeks and despite baby doing fine I was told to get an D&E because outcome for baby would most likely be death or severe disability. However I’m happy to say I have a healthy 3 yr old son now and will soon be testing for my second one. He was a result of 4th IVF cycle fresh day 3 embryo transfer from minimal stimulation protocol. Good luck on your rainbow baby!
I had two early losses then a PUL at 10 weeks, so I guess that puts me in that unhappy 3 miscarriages club, but my first successful pregnancy was on a FET the month after the second loss and my second (natural) pregnancy was not long after the PUL and the month after a BFN on a FET. So for me having 3 didn't change the odds but I think it does depend on the reason for the losses (if there is one). I also found that my main way to cope was to try again immediately, but sometimes a break can help your mental and physical recovery and as you've got frosties there's not so much time pressure as they're already made and don't age.
Thanks MrsOrangejuice, I'm the same - I want to try again immediately.. I can't have another transfer immediately so I'm wondering if it's worth trying naturally. We did get pregnant naturally the first time, so I'm (naively) hoping that can happen again.. it's the thought of going through another miscarriage that is daunting..
Definitely worth trying - I had never been pregnant naturally in 10 years of trying and it happened the month after my last unsuccessful FET for the first and only time (the result of that is now my one month old daughter). If it can happen for me in that unlikely situation then I would say go for it.
I am sorry for your losses, I had 6 miscarriages in total - 3 IVF and 3 natural... a wide variety, some chemicals, one at 10 weeks, one blighted ovum (empty sac), others earlier.. however I was lucky enough to go on and have a daughter who is now one... I had well and truly given up hope as we had been TTC for 8 years, I had had counselling for not having children, prepared myself for giving up etc.. and then she defied the odds. You can do it xx
I'm so sorry for your loss. At 3 miscarrages you can some testing on the NHS it would also be worth asking your GP to refer you to Tommys trust for further advice and testing. after 3 miscarriages I went to Tommys Trust privately and found out I had NK cells. I took steriod on the my last round and also went with DEIVF and my son is now 2 years old.
Hope you find your answer and get your miracle xx
I’m sorry you’re going through this I had 5 miscarriages before having my son then another miscarriage and now 25 weeks with my daughter. I had a mental breakdown after my 5th due to PTSD but counselling helped me work through the grief. Unfortunately it’s never left me even in my successful pregnancies I’ve been left with anxiety. Look after yourself and take time to grieve. Xx
I also had 3 recurrent miscarriages. It is traumatic. I have a 2 year old so this is trying for a sibling. I did a lot of testing and found several issues over time. I'll be doing IVF with PGT, and trying naturally in between. I'm also with very low AMH, so I feel like I can't take too much time.
sorry to hear this VeeVee :(( thinking of you.
I had several chemical pregnancies (maybe 3/4) and two miscarriages before we had success. Have you done the following
PGTA Tested embryos?
ERA/EMMA/ALICe to check for bad bacteria and hidden infections?
Immune testing?
Thanks all Backagain987 LouCollier Hanj10 PenpalLdn Sansan87 for your experiences, this makes me feel less alone and that it’s “normal” to have more than 1 loss..
I was referred to the Tommy’s clinic; and have had a hysteroscopy + ERA, I was put on steroids and blood thinner during the FETs. I’m trying to tell myself the last 2 transferred were aneuploids, so they were never viable.. and hope the next one transferred will be an euploid.. I never expected an aneuploid to implant early (6dp5dt) hence then great disappointment.
My head is in 2 places: one min I want to give up and the next I can’t wait to try again..
Hi VeeVee.
Im so sorry it’s been so hard for you and great to hear that Tommy’s have taken you under their care.
I wonder if you would consider having them tested next time? This is what worked for us (along with the Alice/emma/era). We also found that so many of our embryos come back as abnormal sadly. I have pcos so that probably also explains it.
Wishing you loads of luck and love
Hi Sansan - I decided against testing this time as my only euploid did not implant. I didn't want to risk losing any that might maybe correct itself in the womb... it's a lose-lose whichever way I go..
Gosh, I am so sorry, it must be very tough.
It is such a personal decision, I think it really comes down to you and your mindset, and what's best for you and your relationship (if you have one). For me I'd find it hard to walk away from those frozen embryos, and wonder if they'd have worked next time. But obviously it's an emotional and physical ordeal to go through miscarriages, and nobody can guarantee it won't happen next time.
It sounds to me like you're keen to try again, and I really wish you all the success. In terms of trying naturally between ivf, just make sure you're not putting too much pressure on it, take this time between cycles to get into a positive mindset ahead of the next one.
xxx
Thanks PineappleCrumble. I'm the same I think, I wouldnt want to waste the embryos - just finding it difficult to cope with another miscarriage..
I'm wondering if I can self-medicate (steroids and blood thinner) if trying naturally.. I think it's straightforward enough to pop a baby aspirin daily, not too sure about the prednisolone.. and if I do get pregnant naturally then I'll start using the progesterone. Thinking out loud here..
Of course, it's so tough. I've just had a late loss (found out at 20 week scan that they had died 😞 and had to have a medically induced miscarriage) and I completely understand. It's extremely tough to psych yourself up for having another go.
I have no idea about the steroids! I was given baby aspirin in pregnancy but only because of my high risk of preeclampsia (the baby had high chance Down Syndrome) - i am not sure whether it's advised otherwise?
Good supplements are never a bad idea. I used Proceive and really recommend it. Great amounts of a lot of nutrients.
xx
Oh dear I am so so sorry about that; I cannot even fathom how you went through that! You are brave and strong.
I'm on CQ-10, folic acid, salmon oil and recently put my husband back on DHEA. Steroids was prescribed for my NK cells and because I did my treatment in Prague, I bought a lot of it (enough for 1-2 more cycles if FET) hence wondering if I should just carry on taking them daily.
Hi VeeVee_bb sorry about what you've been going through ;( if it will be some consolation I had in total 6 miscarriages around 7-9weeks and 4 chemical, and we still are planning to go through all our embryos (we have 3 left) and after using them all we will stop - just because I don't want to go through full IVF round for the 3rd time. We have our miracle baby from our first-ever FET, we are not giving up for now and still hoping for a sibling. I will keep my fingers crossed for you 🤞 you can ask your clinic for a miscarriage investigation, I had one before starting the IVF journey to get an explanation for my MC before starting fertility treatments.
Thanks Glaedy, sorry for your losses too. It sounds like it is part and parcel in this journey, I just wish the abnormal embryos wouldn't implant so the recovery period (and the green light to transfer again) happens quicker!
It is so much harder seeing a positive and lose it then getting a negative in the first place 
Hi VeeVee_bb, I am so unbelievably sorry for what you are going through. 🫶🏼 I can relate, my husband and I have been trying for 3.5 years and have had one ectopic pregnancy from IUI, one chemical pregnancy from a miracle unassisted pregnancy, then two more chemical pregnancies and one failed transfer from IVF (all PGT tested embryos). After my last chemical in February I finally did hundreds of hours of research, and found so many other woman with RPL (repeat pregnancy loss) that discovered they actually have “silent endometriosis”. This means even if you don’t have symptoms and have totally normal periods, you could still have endometriosis that is inflaming the uterus and causing implantation to ultimately fail. Unfortunately the only true way to find out if you have it is through a laparoscopy (so invasive), but there is a new-ish test called Receptiva-DX where they take a tiny biopsy of your uterus and can determine if endo is present. I opted to do neither to be the least invasive, and just asked what the treatment/protocol would be if I did test positive for it. The answer was 2 months of Lupron depot (just one shot per month), followed by a medicated transfer. Lupron is definitely intense as it puts you in a medicated menopause state and leads to some hot flashes, etc., but I found out that it can actually help your chances even if you don’t have endo, so thought it was worth a try! Basically it completely shuts down your system so that when it’s time for all the transfer meds they can just do their job perfectly without your body interrupting. I had my transfer on Monday and now waiting until Sunday to test at home! Then my beta will be next Friday. Sorry for the long essay or if you knew about all this already 😆 just thought it might be helpful to you or all you other warrior women on this thread since we have a similar history! Wishing you all all the baby dust! 🙏🏼
Thanks Olivia333 for this information. I have never heard of silent endometriosis, so you are saying you got the lupron "treatment" without a diagnosis?
I will definitely ask my doctor about that.
I hope this one sticks for you! I am an early tester too, so wishing all you the best on Sunday and OTD!
Yes my doctor was willing to do it without diagnosis at my request. Definitely worth asking, and maybe also look into the ReceptivaDX test! I also decided to add in Baby Aspirin, Claritin and Pepcid since I've read that these can't hurt but could help if it happens to be something clotting/auto-immune related. Some people incorporate daily prednisone too in case it is immune related, but my doctor doesn't believe in that so wouldn't prescribe it.
Thank you so much for your kind words and wishes!!! I'll keep you posted <3
Life after giving up on IVF
Feel like giving up 
giving up
How many DE FETs before BFP?
