*Sensitive Post* - anxiety

[Keggles36]

Sorry all, I have no one to talk to really as either no one knows OR they think it is fine and won't listen to me!

We are 10+6 pregnant today. We had a viability at 7+3, and it was all normal.

In the last few weeks one of my friends has had a missed miscarriage, one has had a 14 week miscarriage and another found out her pregnancy is ectopic (which I know this isn't, as 7 weeks showed that, but it's just so much sadness). I don't know how to be there for them because my anxiety is through the roof, and I feel awful.

My symptoms have never been bad, a bit of nausea, gone off food and really sore boobs but i feel like they've completely gone except exhaustion.

Ultimately, I think I want to vent/ask for any coping mechanisms to get through to the 12 week scan. I know we're lucky, but I just feel like something is going to go wrong.

[Hidden]

Hi - your feelings are all completely understandable. You will undoubtedly have anxiety throughout the whole pregnancy because of the journey you have been on, and that’s normal.

I would recommend booking a private scan for around 9-10 weeks, just to give yourself that extra reassurance while you wait for your 12 week scan. X

[Keggles36 in reply to Hidden]

Thanks for replying. We're 11 weeks tomorrow, and dating scan is booked for May 22 so feel like I should try and get through but also might look into a scan this week!

[HollyT7]

so we lost our first, our second we didn’t even tell anyone we we’re pregnant until 21 weeks because of the fear of telling everyone we’d lost the baby if it went. I still had fear until he was born and even then I was like oh when he finally arrived, like I didn’t expect to actually end up with a baby. As for the 12 week scan, I think it’s as bad as the viability one, you don’t expect to see anything there! Just soak up that relief when you do see your babe! As you never know how long the feeling will last!

You’ve been through so much to get here it just feels like something will happen doesn’t it. I honestly don’t feel like there is much to do to cope other than do what you feel is right, be selfish, even if that means you can’t be there for others. I actually got another friend to text a congratulations off my phone to another friend because I couldn’t bare it (when we were trying).

I had to take it all hour by hour when I was pregnant, mainly so I could get to 5pm and the reassurance scan place would close so I couldn’t book another scan to check baby was still there. It’s a tough one, you’ve just to be as kind as you can to yourself. Cry if you want, eat what you like, be lazy and do whatever gets you through that hour, that day, that month!xxx

[HollyT7 in reply to HollyT7]

Also pop over to the fertility support group for anymore pregnancy relation questions so you can get some more experience from others who have gone through this x

[Keggles36 in reply to HollyT7]

Thanks so much for your kind words. I've really stupidly asked my midwife friend to see if she could find a heartbeat with a doppler today. As a midwife myself I know this is ridiculous, we sometimes can't find them as late as 16 weeks, but I was at my wits end. Anyway, there was the whooshing of a placenta but no obvious heartbeat so now I feel even more stressed 🤦🏼‍♀️

[Purple_skies]

I feel you... am going for my first scan at 4w tomorrow, and I worry if it would be ectopic, or just nothing there. You can go for more frequent scans in between your routine scans. For me, scanning is not an option right now so I just do things I enjoy to survive the day. 3 days after I had bfp I had some cramps after drinking chrysanthemum tea and got so scared I went for another blood hCG test. Thankfully it was increasing at expected rate which was a great relief. But truth is you can have high blood hCG without knowing if the baby is fine because it is too small to even do a scan to see something or hear a heart beat. So getting busy with your hobbies and more frequent scans will be a gd choice for you.As for symptoms I think it comes and goes.

Praying for you...

[Keggles36 in reply to Purple_skies]

Thank you so much. Everything crossed for you too!

[HollyT7 in reply to Purple_skies]

Your fertility clinic is scanning you at 4 weeks? Mine didn’t until 7+ for the fact they don’t see much before this and 4 weeks seems super duper early! Sometimes they don’t even see a glimmer of a heartbeat until 6+ xxx

[Purple_skies in reply to HollyT7]

Sorry to confuse any of you, I went for a scan yesterday and was told even thought it is 4w after embryo transfer I am actually 6w pregnant. Thankfully I saw fetal pole and heart beat which was a huge relief.

[Kate-92]

I was terribly anxious in the first 12 weeks, and even beyond if I am honest & I found for me the only thing that helped ease my mind was weekly scans, obviously private and at an expense but worth every single penny x after 5/6 weeks my symptoms very much came and went and of course as time went on new ones came along but at the time it was really hard to not worry. You’re nearly at the 12 week mark now, if you don’t feel you can hang on till your scan for peace of mind get a private one. Congratulations on your pregnancy 💞 xx

[Kate-92 in reply to Kate-92]

Also just read your comment on the doppler, I was going to buy one but then saw that it would probably only increase my anxiety levels ! I am so glad I didn’t, my midwife didn’t use one until 24 wks x

[Keggles36 in reply to Kate-92]

We're both so annoyed at ourselves!!! We're literally both professionals and know it's iffy even at 16 weeks, but at my booking my other colleague suggested it which is terrible advice. At least it was a hospital grade doppler, and there might have been something but really hard to tell.

[Kate-92 in reply to Keggles36]

It’s awful when you’re anxious as one thing leads to another & it becomes never ending doesn’t it x even when it’s your profession ! Anxiety doesn’t let up for anyone x hope you manage to find some calm & I am sure your 12 wk scan will be here before you know it 🙏🏼🤞🏼 x

[Boo718]

honestly it is one hurdle after another with pregnancy esp after IVF. I honestly don’t think the worry goes. Take every day one day at a time. I had zero symptoms. Pretty much my whole pregnancy until I got sciatica at 30 weeks. Try and keep ur mind busy with something else. Stress is not good for u or the baby xxx

[Keggles36 in reply to Boo718]

Thank you so much 😊 this place really helps xx

[Twiglet2]

Congratulations on your pregnancy 🫶🏻🤗honestly scans were the only thing that helped me. You can get a private one for about £50-£60 we had one at 10 weeks in between the clinics 8 week scan and our 12 week dating scan. We didnt tell a soul until the 10 week scan and then it was close family only until we had another private scan at 16 weeks ;in between nhs 12 and 20 weeks) before we went public as I was certain something would go wrong (it didn’t that time ☺️) book yourself a private scan you will se a lot at over 10 weeks and it was magical. After 20 week scan they had me on the ‘red path’ as it was an ivf pregnancy so consultant led and they offered a scan every 4 weeks and I agreed. I STILL had another 3 private scans in between those before I gave birth and nearer the end it was a scan every fortnight on nhs. I wish there was a wee window to the womb we could peak in and check on them but as there isn’t just take every scan going to calm your nerves it really really helped me xx

[Purple_skies in reply to Twiglet2]

Yes I wish there was a window to check on the baby too! Especially when I have spotting.

[Endo_wishing]

Such a stressful time, especially when you’ve gone through so much to get to this point. I feel like I can’t really get too excited and am just waiting for the next bit of bad news. This was my second round 3rd embryo, and I know I am so lucky to have only had 2 rounds and have success, but this was over 6 years with a lot of bad news over the years. Im 12 weeks 2days and having my 12 week scan today, I am so nervous as I have zero symptoms.

Hoping all goes well for your scan, I don’t have any advice but just thought I’d come on here to say you’re not alone and I completely understand how you feel xxx

[Keggles36 in reply to Endo_wishing]

❤️ i hope everything goes well today! Sending lots of love!

[Endo_wishing in reply to Keggles36]

Everything was perfect on my scan! I’m sure it will be for you too, sending you all the best wishes ❤️ xxxx

[Keggles36 in reply to Endo_wishing]

I'm so pleased for you!! ❤️

[Swim2184]

It’s completely normal to be as anxious as you are now. I felt like I held my breathe for 9 months with my little girl. It was such a journey to get there having had a missed miscarriage before her. I only told my parents at 12 weeks and the rest of the world at 20 weeks. I’ve never been that stressed or anxious before. I did a private scan every two weeks from 8 weeks. At 20 weeks I started to feel flutters and then after that kicks and I didn’t need any private scans. When I saw her the day she was born all that anxiety and worry just lifted and for the first time I allowed myself to feel happy. You’ve been through a lot to get to this point, it’s only normal to be worried.

[Keggles36 in reply to Swim2184]

This is such a beautiful reply. Thank you so much and congratulations on your little girl xx

[Keggles36]

I tried to book a private scan today and they don't do it as it's less then two weeks until my dating scan 🤦🏼‍♀️ guess I'm waiting!!

[Purple_skies in reply to Keggles36]

Rare that they will refuse since they get paid for it... I guess ypu can try elsewhere?

[Keggles36 in reply to Purple_skies]

In an honesty i think it will cause undue stress if growth is not good only one week later... So going to wait it out.

[Purple_skies in reply to Keggles36]

Sure! Will pray for you for healthy baby

[Nabsal]

just stay positive plz