**Sensitive post scan update** - Fertility Network UK

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**Sensitive post scan update**

Just wanted to update all the lovely people that have been sending me good luck wishes for my scan.

After a long journey of IVF and a very happy BFP to announce in May I am very sad to say that our short journey has come to blunt end at just 8 weeks and 1 day.

It's bad, sad and emotional news unfortunately, we went ahead with an internal scan today and everything was visible bar the heart beat. The measurement of the gestational sac was under 6 weeks not over 8 weeks and unfortunately they have concluded that I have had a missed miscarriage. I have had no symptoms, such as bleeding or severe abdominal pain and this is why it is referred to as missed miscarriage.

There have been known rare cases where people go back for further scans and a heartbeat is visible or measurements have increased however the sonographer did say for us that would be so unlikely and to prepare for the next steps.

I will be back for another scan in a week and unfortunately have to stay on all my medication till then but it does need a second scan to confirm, so it will be a long wait.

I just wanted to say a big thank you to everyone who has been very supportive of late and I have received some really helpful PM so thanks again.

My silver lining to my sad story is that at least I finally got my BFP and the excitement and joy this gave me and my hubby was amazing even though it was for a short while. xxxx

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Oh lovely, I am so sorry to hear this. I too had a miscarriage last year after a long journey to conceive and it was heartbreaking. Just take things one day at a time, and understand that you have done nothing wrong. Take sometime for just you and your partner xxx

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Yeah I'm still trying to process all the information and keep wondering what happened. Thank you xx

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I am so sorry to read this. After everything you go through to get to even this stage it just seems so unfairly cruel. Please rest, be kind to yourself, and take each hour as it comes. I’m in a very similar situation, the waiting game to know one way or the other is barbaric. I’m just so sorry that any of us have to go through this.

Take care, xx

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Thank you KTL80, it is a real long journey and I have always thought the hardest bit is getting pregnant but its not, the hardest bit is staying pregnant. xx

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I hope all goes well for you and wish you luck. xx

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I'm so so sorry!!💔😪 Its so unfair. Massive hugs.xxx

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Thank you xx

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This is heartbreaking. I’m so sorry for your loss. Hugs x

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It is a real sadness and my heat goes out to anyone dealing with these sort of concerns. xx

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I’m so so sorry to read this.

Sending lots of hugs your way xx

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Bless you and thank you.

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So sorry for you both. 💐

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Thank you, trying to give my hubby lots of hugs and kisses. xx

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Awwww I’m so sorry 🥺 this is completely heart breaking. Well done for seeing the silver lining, at least you got your BFP and hopefully that’s a sign of things to come if you go for another round.

Be kind to yourself over the next week, as tough as it may be xxxx

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Thank you, yes we will do another round as soon as we are well and ready.xx never give up on your dreams xx

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I'm so sorry to see this. Sending you big hugs xxx

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thank you, so kind of you. xx

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So sorry. Take care xx

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Will do thank you xx

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So sorry to read this devastating news, sending big hugs xx

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Yeah thanks, can only hope next time we don't have to go through this xx

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I’m sorry to hear that 💕

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Thank you x

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I'm absolutely gutted to read this update. It's so desperately sad and unfair. Here if you need to talk. Look after yourself and just be together x

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Argh thank you so much kitcat, it is really sad and it feels massively unfair, we have each other to talk to and lean on at least. xx

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Bless you, you'll get each other through it. It's absolutely devastating but it will get a little easier with time. Take care lovely x

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Yes it going to be a hard one to shake off and yet time will help us both. Thanks, hope you okay and all is good with you.xx

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So sad and unfair, I’m so sorry for your loss xx

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Thank you for your kind words. xx

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Oh I’m so sorry to read this, I’ve been through the heartache of a missed miscarriage and it’s truly devastating. Sending you all my love and thoughts. xx

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Thank you, I have no idea what happens next? how far gone was you when you had yours? Did everything happen naturally or did you go down the medical route? Thanks for sharing this with me. xx

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I found out at my twelve week scan but we think our baby stopped growing at around nine weeks. I did miscarry naturally about a week later. xx

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Oh ok, it so sad I wish you lots of luck with your future xx

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So sorry to hear of your news, we were all really happy when you got your BFP, and we are all here for you now. Wishing you lots of strength and love. Bless you.

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Yes it was such a great feeling and I have always wished that I could send out a post telling everyone that buzzing news. When I got that news it was the most amazing feeling ever and everyone on here was so happy for me like you say. It is always difficult sending out such a sad post but lovely to see such supportive comments. thank you xx

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🤗

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Oh lovely. This is not the update I was looking out for 😔 there are no words that can make you feel better at this time. Just wanted to let you know I was thinking of you and sending love x x x

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Argh thank you, yeah I was hoping to send out some nice positive update myself, its a tough card to be dealt my love and I truly am thankful to have at least had a positive result. We will try again when the time is right and for now take inspiration from all the people who are doing well with their journey and pray it will happen for us again soon.xx

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You're amazing 😘

Take care of yourself 💕💕💕💕💕💕

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Thank you xx

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I'm so sorry lovely it's heartbreaking and devastating.

I had the same happen a couple of months ago and the week long wait is difficult.

Take care of yourself 💜💜

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Argh bless you sorry to hear that, I am not looking forward to the wait but my clinic have advised me to wait a week so I have no choice. It is really hard news to take on board to say the least. Was you okay afterwards ? xx

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I'm so sorry to read this. Sending you so much love and hoping you find comfort in the support here xxx

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Thank you very much, yes the support on here is amazing, everyone is so lovely xx

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Oh I am so sorry you have had to go through this. Not only is it heartbreaking, frustrating and very difficult, but the waiting just numbs us and makes time stand still. I went through this last year with two sacs (one round). As you say, the positive is that you did get a positive. I got through it by telling myself (and many others) that my theory is that we all have a "practice" round.

We tried again once the drugs were well and truly out of my system and I am now 38 weeks with our little miracle.

Of course, I do hope you have good news next week, but if not, I wish you success in the very near future xx

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Argh thank you Camillage and sorry to hear you have been through this also, it is very difficult and so heartbreaking. How long did it take for the drugs to get out of your system? It is so inspiring to hear your story and congratulations on your little miracle wow 38 weeks not long now I bet your so excited. Good luck with the delivery and may you have a joyful time with your new baby. Thank you for sharing you happy ending I will hold this in my thoughts. xxx

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Please do, the determination and trying to take positive from the experience really helped us through. So, having the drugs rather than an operation meant that they wanted 2 full cycles before booking in again. We were then on holiday so it timed to being around actually about 4 cycles before we were ready to go again. I had insisted on some other tests which slowed it down too.

The tests came back clear, but thay helped me be calm too. X

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I think I am going to let nature take it's course and hope that will be enough, if not I will rethink things. 4 cycles is reasonable especially if you went on holiday and had other tests. Thank you xx

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I am so sorry for you both . It is a cruel journey but don't lose hope. I was in the same position last year and the pain of it all was too much but with time, you will find the courage to keep going. Lots of hugs xx

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So sorry to hear that, yes we need time to grieve and heal right now. Hopefully the pain and the devastation will get easier in time. thank you for your kind words. xx

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So sorry to hear this. I've also had a mmc and it's important to take a good time to heal for you and your other half. Sending lots of hugs xx

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Yes I don't think it's that easy to absorb, still can not believe it...my boobs are sore and have had cramps all the way through this pregnancy. Will be more real when I stop treatment and i have that bleed naturally, although I am dreading it??? Thank you xx

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Ah I really feel for you, you poor thing. I can’t give you any advice about the actual process sadly as I had to have a D & C. The only thing I can say is that you will just need a bit of time. I spent a lot of time with my fiancée just chatting and hugging and being with him, which really helped. Lots of love xx

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Argh it is so sad, I have been offered the option of a D&C and not sure what to do at the moment ? Thinking either natural or surgical either way will be glad when it all done. Thanks for sharing xx

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Hmm you just have to do what’s right for you, in your situation. By the time I had my scan, it was estimated that I had lost the baby about 2 weeks prior and there was no sign of bleeding so it was the right thing to do for me personally. Good luck with your decision x

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Thanks, I will be at the EPU again tomorrow so I am sure we will have a better idea what to do. xx

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How devastating, so so sorry to read this xx

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Yes it is quite horrible, thank you xx

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2 years ago I miscarried at 6 and a bit weeks, give your self plenty of time to grieve, it’s bloody awful and so cruel when we have to go through what we do to get this far! Plan nice things and look after you xx

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Argh sorry to hear that, yeah everyone seems have some really tough deals to get through and we always hope for a happy ending, We have a lot to get through in these sad times, we just have to be strong and give ourselves time. thanks xx

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I'm so sorry to hear this. I had a miscarriage too just a month ago so I know how heartbreaking it is. I was 9 weeks. I got pregnant naturally after a failed IVF and being after that told I wouldnt get pregnant. Getting that positive was the best feeling in the world. Miracles can happen and they will do. Take your time to heal and take rest and be around loved ones. Sending you lots of love xx

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oh Sofi that is so sad, bless you. Yes you just cant explain how great it feels to get that positive it is such a top feeling. Yeah I am a big believer in miracles and they will happen for both of us. Thank you xx

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I had the same happen to me with one of my pregnancies and it is of course very hard, I am so sorry that you and anyone has to go through this, please take care and here if you need anything. xxxx

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Bless you, it is hard I quite agree I think when you have symptoms, you just know something bad has happened but when you are getting all the pregnancy symptoms and carrying on as normal it is really difficult. I just thought because I did not want an internal scan they had difficulty seeing things but never imagined this??? thanks for sharing xx

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Sending love 💕

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Thank you x

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Sorry to hear this I had the same at 7 weeks and it’s tough but as you say hold on to the positive that you got a BFP! Take care of yourself and hubby X

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Thank you, there are so many people that have been through the same thing and go on to have a positive pregnancy next time round so all we can do is keep the faith. Sorry to hear you went through this also I hope you are feeling better about things now. thank you xx

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Hello, dear.

I have read your sad story and really sorry for all that you had to go through. I understand how hard it was perfectly well as I got bfp not so long time ago and was happy until the scan was done. After that day I got to know all the risks and 80% possibility that I wouldn't be able to carry my baby and I might lose my tiny. The doctors were right and mc happened. But you know, I'm trying hard not to lose my hope and now going to sign another program in Ukraine, hoping that it will bring us positive result.

Don't lose your heart and try until you'll hold your baby in your arms. Efforts are rewarded!

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Bless you sorry to hear about your loss. I think it is really good that you have faith and are holding on to hope and trying again, good luck with your next cycle in Ukraine and I pray you get your miracle. Will always hold on to my dreams and keep trying regardless. Thank you xx

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Thanks, hun. Thank you for your answer and for your support. It is very important to have faith as it helps a lot. Thanks to such people as you it is easier to keep calm and believe in a happy future. I wish you the best as well. Baby dust!

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Thank you, that is very kind of you. Keep the faith and follow your dreams. xx

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So very sorry for your loss. I had a chemical pregnancy nearly 2 years ago & it was completely heartbreaking. But to have a scan with no sign of anything being wrong ( I had pain & bleeding) must’ve been an horrific shock I can’t begin to imagine how you felt. I think your attitude is so positive it is good for you to know you can get pregnant ( that’s how we tried to view our loss) & just because you lost this pregnancy is no reason to think the next pregnancy wouldn’t have a successful & happier outcome. I say that as we fell 13 months after our loss ( I had issue with endometriosis & needed another 2 surgeries) our daughter is now 16 days old. Miracles do happen. Thinking of you & hope you have plenty of support around you xxx

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Sorry to hear about your chemical pregnancy that must have been hard. Congratulations on you little girl that is fabulous and only 16 days old how sweet. Like you say miracles do happen and we will hope ours happens in the not to distant future. Thank you for sharing your story always good to read these lovely happy endings. Enjoy motherhood and cherish your little girl xx

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So sorry to hear this x sending you massive hugs and lots of love x take it easy x

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Thank you that's very kind of you x

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Oh I’m so so sorry. Xx

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Thank you, the tears are forming fast and furious today so this will take time to get over. xx

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So sorry for your loss, it’s so so unfair after all you go through to get to that point. I had twin girls back in 2004 who were born prematurely and later died my first daughter aged 3 days and my second at 3 weeks old we will never understand how life works but hoping you get your dreams soon thinking of you at such a difficult time xx

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Oh my word how devastating, so sorry to hear that, life can be so cruel and sometimes you wonder why?? Thank you for sharing this and i appreciate your kind words at such a difficult time. xx

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OMG! I can't even imagine how strong you are if could go through such awful things. Frankly speaking, I have never met such people as you. I really wish you all the best, happy, strength and faith that everything will definitely be alright! I wish you that from the bottom of my heart!

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So sorry to know about this. I have just passed a very similar stage recently. I was 8 weeks and 2 days and last week had ectopic surgery. Just be kind to urself and take enough rest. Stay strong. Why we all have to go through all this. May be god too knows that we are unique and super strong🙂🙂Sending you love and hugsxxx

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argh bless you, they thought I was having an ectopic around week 6 as they could not see anything on the scan I was so worried. I hope your surgery was straight forward and you are feeling a little better. I don't think we are ever prepared for what life throws at us and IVF is so hard on it's own these traumatic events make the journey so difficult. We keep going and keep trying in the hope for our dreams but its a fight and a big struggle for so many people. We always find the strength to get through these times, thank you for your supportive words, take care of yourself xx

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Hi I’m sorry your going through this, mmc is an awful experience we’ve had 3 mmc I get at 12/13w before knowing there’s anything wrong. I’ve had 2 naturally and a MVA. If u ever need to chat I’m here x look after yourself x

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Argh thank you, sorry to hear you have had all that trauma 2 go through I am struggling going through one mmc 3 OMG you poor thing how awful. I hope you have come through the other end and are in a better place. My heart goes out to you. I will pm you as I need some further advise if that's okay thanks for sharing. xx

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Hi gcw

Sorry for your MCs. I have already had 2 mc, one ectopic and failed ICSI attempts. I didn't take my health issues seriously and thought that I would get my bfp right after the fir99st attempt, but when I saw BFN and blood test confirmed that I fell into a great depression and hardly got out of it in more than 3 years. I decided to continue my journey for my hubby and our future. Baby dust to you dear!

xx

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So sorry about to hear this. I had a similar issue though mine was missed miscarriage at 10 weeks but baby measuring just 6weeks. Just stay calm Nd positive. It is well.

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Thank you, yes it is a horrible situation bless you 10 weeks that must be hard. thanks for sharing xx

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I'm sorry to read this, sending you lots of hugs xx

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Thank you, it a hard card to be dealt when doing all this ivf but we just have to keep on going. xx

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It is so hard,I had a MMC last Aug and I found the only way for me to cope was by planning my next cycle as it gave me something to concentrate on but there is no wrong or right way to deal with the grief, just take care of you xx

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Yes we will be doing another ivf cycle when we are ready and I am sure it will give us some focus for the future however for now we just need to get through this and be there for each other , thanks xx

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You are quite right Clairenix. There is definitely no wrong or right ways to deal with grief. I understand you perfectly well. I went through my second mc much better than through the first one. I wanted a baby so much that it seemed to me that I died with my baby, that I completely lost myself. But my relatives, friends, and hubby were near and supported me. As for the second mc, I knew that it might be due to my health issues and, probably, was ready for that. I almost recovered and in a month I am starting my surrogacy program in Ukraine. Don't lose your hope dear and be strong! Baby dust!

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I’m so sorry to hear this hun. Sending you lots of love and hugs xx

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Thank you, it's a tough journey but we strive on with hope in our hearts xx

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I’m so sorry to hear you’re going through all this on top of such a long journey in the first place. I had a missed miscarriage in October at 13 weeks and what followed was something I can only describe as mild PTSD from the shock and physically it was traumatic. I’d really urge you to seek some counselling as soon as you can even if you have a good support network as miscarriage isn’t generally talked about which makes it very hard.

You’re probably not there yet as you have your second scan in terms of next steps but although physically difficult (more due to being 13 weeks) I chose medical management as best for me as I felt I wanted it to be over physically and begin the grieving process. I had a second miscarriage at 8 weeks which was significantly easier physically- more like a period with 4 hours bad cramping after which I passed the pregnancy- a small amount of tissue. However, things are different for everyone and midwife says excessive bleeding can occur at any stage so you need to take it easy and be near a hospital.

I’m so so sorry, it’s so incredibly painful, just do what you can to get through each day at a time.

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Thank you Mama for sharing your story and giving me this advice. This is so hard as you say and I do worry as the EPU need to do final scans and my ivf clinic have asked me to stay on all the medication till then?? So now I am in limbo and cant get going with anything??? I am starting to worry that this is going g to hit me all at once?? Sorry to hear your sad story you sound like you have been through such a traumatic time. Did you start going through the PTSD when you was passing the pregnancy or before???I pray you will be at peace and wish you lots of luck. Xx thanks again.

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I'm so sorry lovely, unfortunately I've been in your situation.

It's great that you see the silver lining.

Take care and be kind to yourself 💜💜

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Yes it's hard, I have my final scan on Monday then it's time to watch & wait. Going down the natural route. Thanks for your reply I wish you all the best. Xx

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😔 so sorry to read this! My thoughts are with you, look after yourself xxx

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Thank you xx

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