Feeling worried it may not happen

[Rjfguitfg]

Hey everyone - I just had my second FET fail and starting to feel quite worried and panicked that this may not happen for me. I'm about to be 39 in a few weeks and feel the door is closing. They were both PG Tested embyros and my lining looked great on both transfers, yet total implantation failure. We have 4 more embryos but it just feels like it may not happen looking at studies and statistics. I have a meeting with my RE in a couple days to see if they want to change my protocol or do more tests. Anyone in the same boat have success later? Did you change your protocol or do more testing? Thanks.

[Thom86]

I’m so sorry to hear this . Please don’t give up . I can’t give u much advice I’m about to start my second transfer , grade 5AB . Can I ask what ur lining was before implantation xx

[Rjfguitfg in reply to Thom86]

Thank you!

Yes - first transfer my lining was 8mm and second was 9.3mm. First transfer was a grade 4CB and second was a grade 4AB.

[Thom86 in reply to Rjfguitfg]

Nothing makes much sense doesn’t it … so much science and some luck . My life inn always seems to be 12 or even thicker and I worry that this may be an issue xx

[Rjfguitfg in reply to Thom86]

It doesn't, does it? I've read that lining over 15mm or so is when it becomes an issue.

I'm keeping my fingers crossed for you!

[MrsOrangejuice]

My consultant said that even when everything is perfect, unexplained infertility and age not a factor, the odds of success on each transfer are about 1 in 3, and that's about the same as natural conceptions. It's hard to swallow at the time and given everything we're led to believe by the clinic and the media is that once you finally get to and through IVF it should just work, it often doesn't. 4 frosties is great and age isn't so much a pressure as they're made. If it helps, we were trying for around 10 years and it's only been since turning 37 that I've had any success, one baby from IVF and now one natural pregnancy (first time that's happened), in less than two years. If anything my results have improved with age as has the state of my body and hormones - no idea why. My advice? If you want to transfer again or do a round, grill your clinic and make then go through every single test, investigation, option and their stats so you have all the information and a better idea of the chances. Take as long as you need to recover physically and mentally from the failed FETs, then regroup and jump feet first and confidently into whatever you decide (that includes taking break). So much of this is outside of our control and some of the worst parts are the indecision, limbo and regrets in hindsight. You can't predict or control what will happen so get as informed as possible and then try and be at peace with whatever you decide. Oh and make sure progesterone isn't an issue and if they can give you more or different forms - an easy fix with no apparent risks but so often overlooked.

[Rjfguitfg in reply to MrsOrangejuice]

This is wonderful advice. Thank you. I felt calmer just reading it. I have an appointment with my re and will bring this up. In particular the progesterone bit. Thank you!

[Doodlebug23]

You know my story. I’m now 48 and as MrsOrangejuice said, and my clinic, age isn’t a factor as all tests showed no issues, and my lining has always been 8-10mm. RIF has no explanations and again as MrsOj said it’s 1 in 3 chance the same as natural conception.

I found it really hard to accept that it’s a numbers game and there’s nothing to fix. But try and take some hope from the fact that there’s no reason it won’t happen. My clinic were always really positive that just keep going and it will happen.

I asked about testing the embryos but they said that as ny donors were so young it wasn’t necessary.

I didn’t have any immune testing either as my clinic has reasons they don’t advocate them, and instead for my last 2 transfers they prescribed the common meds anyway. And the difference this time was I followed modified natural rather than medicated protocol.

I feel personally that lots of extra tests some have are just out of desperation to get answers, and I totally understand that. But for me I had to put my faith in my clinic and follow their advice.

Are you having single or double transfers? My last 3 have been doubles. My clinic were very reluctant at the start but I pushed and they finally agreed. They were concerned about risk of multiples But for me if it makes no difference to the odds of success I’d rather have less transfers. Although it did scare me to think embryos were running out faster.

I’ll be 🤞🏼 for your next transfer. You’ve got this! Keep going you will get there! 💖

[Rjfguitfg in reply to Doodlebug23]

This is a wonderful perspective - thank you! I've been on the fence about additional testing for the same reasons and the fact that it "wastes" time that I could be doing a transfer.

I've been doing single transfers and my clinic won't really do a double given my history of loss at 21 weeks which they think was cervical incompetence. Otherwise I would definitely push for a double.

Thank you, thank you!

[Rjfguitfg in reply to Rjfguitfg]

My RE suggested a modified natural FET for me as well this next round with lovenox injections as well.

[Doodlebug23 in reply to Rjfguitfg]

Oh that’s same as me! So you know what my thoughts we be on that obviously! I also had low dose prednisolone x

[Doodlebug23 in reply to Rjfguitfg]

Sometimes it’s just really useful to hear someone else’s perspective and thoughts so you can reflect on it isn’t it. X

[leo1980]

At 39 my lovely you are still young to me. I am currently 8 weeks and 4 days with an embryo I made when I was 39 (I am 43 now) I don’t know how many transfers I had- I think more than 7. I had more failures than success with both tested and untested embryos so one of the ones you have will work. I guess I am saying it’s a numbers game. Don’t give up. Process of elimination eg. We got PGT normal embryo’s so let’s move on to the you. Was the timing right for you? Re: ERA? How about progesterone levels? What was it on the day of transfer? Are you on a specific protocol re: I am on the immune one (steroids, blood thinners, intralipids) worth considering testing for these things - they are expensive but your embryos are worth more. Take a day or two to deal with your feelings and then plan the next steps. You got this. And we got you if you need anything!

[Rjfguitfg in reply to leo1980]

Thank you so much. You've helped calm me down a bit. Thank you for sharing your story.

[CarlottaD27]

Hello. I’ve not experienced similar but had been planning to do PGT-A testing too and been making plans for potential recurrent implantation failure testing (as I worry and plan ahead).

A consultant directed me to the HFEA website and there is this advice on RIF. The chart below suggests two euploid transfers should have had a c87% success rate at your age and potentially to do further tests after two failures.

I’m not a Dr and haven’t been in the situation, but it maybe be worth discussing further testing in line with HFEA / your REs advice …

Also the HFEA is UK-based so advice may vary by country. Lots of luck! X

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[Millbanks]

Hi lovely,

I can completely relate to this feeling. Have a look at my story...

We had success with our 6th transfer after adding in steroids and intralipids. I think this was the key. We hadn't PGT-A tested the embryos that we used for our failed transfers but when we did PGT-A test the normal ratio was high so I suspect that wasn't the issue.

I know it feels like it will never happen, but there is still lots you can try to increase your chances if you feel like you want to.

xx

[Rjfguitfg in reply to Millbanks]

Thank you for sharing your story. It helps give me perspective and helps motivate me to keep going!

[Rjfguitfg]

Thanks everyone for your wonderful advice and for sharing your own stories. My RE suggested we try a modified natural FET with Lovenox injections. I know I have 4 embryos left but I've honestly lost hope it's going to happen for me... So has my husband. This might be our last try to be honest.