Does anyone else want to punch people when they say 'relax and it will just happen' when you mention trying for a baby.
I had my blood test and the nurse said I should just go away on a package holiday and relax and bet it would happen then!
I bet everyone of you ladies keep getting these comments too!
😅 rant over!
Yes. That nurse should have known better xxx
Lol or "it will happen when you just stop trying"!! NO IT WON'T 🤪 You've got no chance if you stop trying and relax! Lol
That's really annoying that a nurse said that... If it was so easy as going on holiday then 1 in 7 wouldn't find it so hard!
Good luck with the next steps hun xxx
Haha I know. But it is like saying - it's my fault! Which is so clueless.
So funny the advice people give.
Xxx
Yes, and “just go home and eat chocolate” has been another one ha ha. I know it’s definitely not going to happen for me now, through IVF anyway. Relaxation helps you feel better not conceive a bloody baby! Tell them to shut it 😂
Omg well if it was about chocolate I would have a house full of kids! 🤣
I know everyone has got some awful comments to share!
Xxx
I think the worst comment I got was "just have loads of sex!!"
Seriously?!
I've had that!!! 😅 x
Someone asked me if he was putting it in the right place 🙄🙈
Yep, we've had 'are you sure you're doing it right?' oh ffs!! 😕
Barking mad some people.
😁😁😁🤣🤣 woow people...
No way!!!! 🙈
Yeah, I am also hearing that. I am not ovulating since years, so I dont think having sex will make me pregnant. There is a thing called "induced ovulation" where ovolation is occuring through the hormones of the male sperm - this happens for cats and rabbits! Although at the moment I dont feel very human, I still cannot identify myself with those.
I got a GP saying that I don’t need to worry, that I should have a lot of sex and as I probably ovulate 3 or 4 times in a years given my age I should relax and try more 😡 I was furious... some people just don’t have a brain...
I was told "maybe an option could be a surrogate with your eggs". I can't fall pregnant, there's no evidence at the moment to suggest I can't carry a baby!
The best one more recently was "I've heard ivf can make you unfertile". No love, you probably read 1 story in Take a Break where a woman fell naturally after ivf. Try telling men and women with serious issues that ivf is the answer to making them fertile!
That has made me so mad!
Omg.....stop trying and it will happen stories drive me nuts....
X
Don’t forget “ you’re trying too hard” . Arnt done Ppl stupid xx
Oh god that is terrible......
Has anyone had 'Don't leave it too late!'? In response to when are you going to have kids?
That one gives me rage! 'No I hadn't noticed I am late 30's' 😅
My doctor said that to me once!!!
I've heard so many people say doctors said that to them....
X
Yes and right on the nose! The best one was trying to explain to my best friend the pain and hormones that another friend had described to me about having ivf treatment (I hadn't had my cycle at this time) my best friend turned around and said "wait until you have children". Bloody wait until I have children?! Ffs! I actually tell friends now before they get in there, that the next person that tells me to relax I am going to punch them on the nose, it works 😊 xx
Oh and a doctor at my surgery told me "woman are not baby making machines"! I was mortified at the time
Omg I hate it🤦🏻♀️😂 I heard it million times and each time I wanted to kill them! Yeah I’ll stop trying and I’ll ended up with no baby🤬😂 xx
I try and not to be to harsh on people who say stuff like that, cause I used to say it myself (sorry everyone).
People just don't know about fertiltiy issues until they or someone close to them goes through the it.
But a nurse should know better. When I first started seeking help for fertility a doctor told me don't worry just relax and try a little longer and I'd get pregnant and he wouldn't see me again. 2 years later I'm still trying, when it comes from a medical professionalit just makes me feel like more of a failure.
Yeah I know I was guilty of trotting out those awful phrases when I was young and unaware. Bloody karma. It sure knows how to pack a punch xx
Oh my god. The most frustrating thing ever!!
"Relax and it will just happen!"
"Stop trying and you'll find yourself pregnant"
"I know someone that had IVF and it failed. They fell naturally after"
"If the IVF fails then your body will learn what to do after"
"Don't leave it too late, you don't want your eggs to dry out"
Aagghhh!!!!! Ffs! Now I've had a reminder of it all lol 😂 People just don't think 🙄 xx
“Relax and it will happen” was a personal bug bear, as was “it will happen when you stop trying “... And you know that how, exactly?!! 😡
The worst thing I had was that my first acupuncturist clearly didn’t think I should be having ivf. She just had some faint weird belief that it will ‘just happen’ because I kept having miscarriages and told me I should just keep trying. I got through 25 eggs (24 ropey) in two rounds of ivf. So no, I do not think it might have happened naturally at the age of 39 after it took over two years of my egg supply and IVF to get pregnant. Glad I didn’t follow her advice!
I think people mean well but they don’t realise their comments and opinions cause such upset.
Xxx
Jesus wept. Was this nurse drunk?! It’s bad enough when friends and family say it! My all time favourite I had once... “you watch, you’ll get yourself all stressed out signing up for IVF and then it’ll work just before you start.”
Me and my husband turned it in to a game. What’s the worst you’ve had this week etc?! x
😅😅😅
Yep. Truly awful. I've been told by nurses, doctors and a counsellor I was paying that I need to think positive. Oh right! That's where I've been going wrong! Silly old me. I thought it was a complicated series of physical issues and a truck load of unknowns that caused my two miscarriages. Shows what I know! Xx
Oh YES!!!!! It makes my blood boil! I had that comment yesterday and had to actually walk away and calm myself down before I said something I shouldnt have. And I often get “oh just stop thinking about it and it will happen when you least expect it to”. Ummmm yes maybe when im 62 a miracle will happen 🤦🏻♀️
That is just the worst statement I have heard it so many times in my last 3 years of trying..... people have no idea what we go through..... sometimes we are not even stressing and still u can't get pregnant.... it's like take away all your stress and you will be pregnant... my problem is not stress.
I was at the fertility clinic for my appointment following my miscarriage and the nurse said ‘at least we know you can get pregnant’ 😡😓
oh my god! I don't think I would have been able to hold back in socking the nurse one in the head! That's terrible!!
It was awful. Really upset me even more. Clearly they don’t understand 😩
This post has made me chuckle. I've had it said to me so many times.
Someone kept telling me I needed to take up a hobby, until I said sarcastically that I would take up knitting and not bother with sex! Her face was a picture!
I have a friend who has been trying for 2.5 years for her second baby and finally got pregnant - have to mention that everything was fine with her, it was her husband having problems.
No even she is telling me that I should just wait and it will happen! I am so angry , because she should know best how hopless this situation is.... I knoiw she means it well, but this is so inappropriate...
My husband keeps saying the same, although my situation keeps getting worse!
And the most stupid thing to hear is: "Oh and if it does not work naturally, just have an IVF! Thas very easy nowadays and the doctors will make it happen!" Yeah...medicine is nothing but magic and going through IVF is just something you are shortly having in your afternoon tea break....
My first fertility specialist literally shrugged his shoulders at me and said “ I don’t understand why you can’t fall pregnant! You have a child” he made me feel like I was wasting his time being there 🤦🏽♀️
1) I was young! 2) it wasn’t with my hubby! 3) my son was 15 at the time!! So completely irrelevant!!!!!!
I ended up being discharged and to cut along story shorts was diagnosed in 2017 nearly 6 years after ttc with endometriosis which was on the back of my uterus making implantation impossible! So all the relaxing in the world or holidays would not have resolved my issue.
Jez I don’t know what makes people say such ridiculous things. It almost demoralising to a couple struggling like if it was that easy fertility treatment wouldn’t be needed! Sorry that makes me angry.
I wouldn’t be able to fall without surgery fix my endo.
Some of us have a hard time falling and comments like that do not help...
Sorry you had to go through that 😘xoxo
I love the ones, that even come from people who know exactly what you are going through. Like when their child is playing up 'Are you sure you want one of these, it's not too late!?!?!?!' When we lost our first baby after round 1 of IVF, due to Edwards Syndrome, my mother-in-law gave us a card that said 'When life gives you lemons, make lemonade'. I have no words. people are morons.xx
Oh my...that's so bad....x
I know. I actually get on really well with my in laws, but she can be really thoughtless at times. My husband had no words!! We try to laugh about it between us!!xx
I would have asked her for the recipe for lemonade in that circumstance... I wouldn’t have been able to keep my mouth shut.
All these comments!! 😫😬 OMG! One of my good friends said “really make love with loads of romance”... that’s what worked for her. 😳
Someone said smoke a spliff and drink some chianti!!!!! They are all coming back to me now!
Imagine telling my consultant that I did that!
I am t-total caffeine free gluten free! 😅
🤣
😂
Yep we also got the 'just get really drunk, then it'll happen'. Usually when I get drunk I fall asleep, so no sorry it probably won't happen! Are they saying that I need to be blind drunk to have sex with my husband?!? Idiots!
Yes it seems like comparing us to drunk 16 year olds getting pregnant! 😅
It does seem to be another version of 'just relax' 😂
Xxx
Yep ! Soooo many times. Drives me nuts 🥜
The worse I had though was « you sometimes need a death to bring a life ».... By my GP 🤬 when i was saying that my mom having cancer was also stressing me out and probably not helping with the whole baby story.... needless to say I changed GP...
Oh that is the most insensitive thing to say!!! Glad you changed GP.....
Wow....😐
Holy crap!!! Who on earth says something like that?! That's unbelievable - I would have reported them. Some GPs need some serious lessons in compassion. Glad you changed GP xx
That's terrible!😱👊 You poor thing, not surprised you changed GP, what a t!t.xx
One of my friends said to me that ‘clearly it’s not the right time for you’ ... thanks for that, 5 years TTC, seeing specialists for 3 - I think we decided it was the right time a loooong time ago.
Love my boss but even this morning I got a ‘don’t think about it and relax and you’ll be fine’ (have follow up app tomorrow for Clomid and Metformin).
I used to get really annoyed but now I walk away or focus on something else for a bit xx
Hmmmm that is so annoying. 'It will happen when you're ready!' Arghhh!
X
I think she made the comment cos she has this belief that she should be the first in our group of friends to have children, and god forbid anyone get preggers first! She knows about our situation as well. it’s quite petty. I’d be so happy for her if she fell pregnant, don’t really see much of her anymore xx
My best friend who I love dearly advised that I just need to put my legs up in the air after I had sex!
She got pregnant first time she had sex with her boyfriend which resulted in her daughter!
So...ya it didn't work for me!
X
I got that the other day. I just happened to say how I thought I'd be thinking about baby number 2, not just having my first. The response was "unfortunately things don't go to plan and maybe it wasn't your time before". I ranted to my OH "who the hell is she to say when the right time for us to have a child is. There is no good reason why we shouldn't have had a child 3 years ago!!"
My nurse told me to stop having sex (suggesting the only reason we were is because we are ttc) and to start making love, which was cringeworthy in itself. And that it would happen when my body was ready. I wanted to scream at her and say that throughout all the tests we know the issue is male factor, so is nothing to do with my body being ready x
Omg that is so cringe! 😨
Drives me mad. I feel like screaming at them "i have been listening to people telling me to relax for 3 goddamn years!" If it was going to "just happen" it would have bloody happened by now!.
All the contradictary advice from professionals also drives me mad. Pee on ovulation sticks...dont pee on sticks...have sex every other day...dont have sex every other day have it during your fertile window. Jesus wept....
Infuriating! And a nurse of all people. I was relaxed as hell for years, I should be Octomum!
Ummm, yes!
Ha, that’s about all I have to say! But... just thinking that it might be worth mentioning to the practice manager or whoever as they could improve their training for staff, as they might be upsetting lots of women who come in...
I was told the other day that i should listen to my body and if i can't conceive its for a reason. The purpertrator used to work as a midwife and said that a lot of the post op complications she saw were in women who had had IVF. She said that they're infertility had been theyre body's way of telling them that they shouldn't have children!
This was a few days after my 3rd failed FET.... so insensitive!
Oh my f***ing God!!!! That is horrible. What an awful woman. I would have struggled not to tell her to eff off.. I hope her nasty comments didn't affect you too much 😘
it amazes me that people can be that insensitive!
...It also amazes me that i managed to maintain my composure!
I did mention it to our team leader and had a good old rant to my husband about her .
Good! Some people just need to engage their brains before they open their trap lol. My sister once told me that I shouldn't do ivf and adopt instead. Needless to say that she doesn't know that is what we have been doing and that I'm currently pregnant. I'll tell her last lol
Congratulations on your pregnancy! I can understand waiting to tell her after that comment!
My sister's twins are IVF so she sort of gets it although she conceived on her 1st attempt- we're having our 4th transfer Friday! (completely different reasons for our inability to conceive!)
Good luck for Friday. Fingers crossed for you xxx
So happy you are pregnant! Haha you can ded enjoy telling her last! Xxx
Omg....that is the worst yet. I am so sorry. Xxx
After filling out forms to refer me for ivf my specialist said watch now you will relax and become pregnat now ive filled the form out and two friend who struggled for a few yrs to get pregnant with their 2nd both said when we stopped trying we got pregnant peoples comments are so annoying like being told how and how much sex to have and half the people who have made these comments struggled to get pregnant themselves so you think they would be more sensitive i was coming home infuriated and my partner said just tell them to keep their mouth shut and keep their opinions to themselves 😡
Hi yes I did all the time and ppl still say it now
for us it NEVER would have happened with blocked tubes due to endometriosis but still doesn’t change the fact that I still wanted to hit them 😉
good luck you do eventually learnt to get over it like water off a ducks back
Xx
The first fertility doctor we saw tried to put me on Clomid, despite the fact hat my husbands sperm analysis was abnormal for morphology and told us to go away and think about our options but tojust relax and we would be pregnant before she saw us again. Needless to say I put a complaint in and the fertility nurses were mortified and we got another appt with another consultant who has been amazing, (and also said Clomid was just delaying things and pointless!) so my laparoscopy is happening on 5th June! People are knobs and you'd expect those in healthcare especially in the fertility market to be just a little bit more sensitive! They can't seem to understand if they've never had to fight for it! Keep your head up x
Yes it is amazing isn't it - with any other medical condition nobody tells you to just relax.
We are unexplained - sperm, egg quality good etc so everyone says these insensitive things.
Best of Luck with your appointments.
Xxx
And you too, I hope you get a positive result xx
All those people are idiots. And it’s no use telling them they are being idiotic as they won’t understand. Try to remember they are trying to be nice (believe it or not). Then come on here and rant away!!!
Miracles do happen-keep going x
Miracles do happen
Having a unsure if it'll happen to me day
Funding approved, first appointment soon: what will happen?
