Third attempt failed

[Theobirdy71]

Hi I've just done my third attempt ....at ivf using donor egg ..I'm a bit older but was always hopeful ...I took time off work four weeks to be exact .with my GP supporting this ......did acupuncture for months with specialist practitioner and did womb massage too with specialist practitioner....I tried to be laid back not read to much into things.....and have had a BFN ...I dont know how to feel...and what to do next ..I've two frosties left but my age is a problem....

My previous attempts my mental health suffered ..became depressed ..mentally ill and decided to change my mind set ...which I had too ....for my health and wellbeing to carry on .....with this journey .....I will be seeking the counseling offered by the clinic....

I used embryo glue this time ..was told the blastocyst was a grade A and my womb lining was nice and thick ..so beginning to wonder what's going wrong.....

My husband and I felt that this would be our last attempt ...I just need to put my feeling out on a post and need I suppose to be kind to myself ....my husband and I feel quite flat and demoralized about the whole process ...any suggestions would be appreciated..

[SushiTilly]

Hey Theobirdy

My heart goes out to you. We're close to finding out if our third DE worked and experience of BFN is agonising but important to respect the grief and give yourself space to ride the emotions.

Each attempt is another try, roll of the dice is how it feels.

I've read so many stories now of women's IVF experience there is no pattern of success or fails. In theory more you try the better likelihood it will work, that sucks. Bridget Nielson went all the way to 54 years old before it worked. I think based on your story you have done well, things being tested and assessed plus your lifestyle to allow positive approach. In the end experts say it is about redoing it, maybe clinic can assess what they can do more precisely.

I just watched another IVF doctor say, despite all the best efforts and circumstances at the end it still comes down to embryo ability to divide and stick. As you have two frosties left done loose faith. Take time to rest, get all questions ready for clinic and take the call to chat through next steps.

To me it seems like you've tried right things, thick lining, good level of progesterone and high grade embryo. So people might consider testing embryo if this round fails for me, that might be our next step in the change of our last frosties...fingers crossed for you.

Sending you lots of well wishes and hugs

[Doodlebug23]

Please don’t give up. I know it’s hard but you have 2 little frosties just waiting to get their chance. I’m only a few years behind you and on transfer number 6. Optimal lining, top grade embryos (DE), embryo glue and the like all chucked in the mix too. I’ve had all BFNs with 1 chemical (transfer 4), and my clinic say just keep going it will happen, it’s a numbers game 😐

It’s so hard just fail after fail, and sometimes I worry about my age and think would I feel better if there was something to “fix”. But your uterus doesn’t age like your eggs do, and reading others issues they struggle with on top of it just working, so I’m just going to carry on as long as I can.

I’m sending you positive thoughts, best wishes, prayers, luck, and damn thing there is. I hope you find the strength to carry on cause just think of the beautiful, wonderful, amazing little person that is just waiting for their turn for you to be their mummy! 💖💖

[Christianbaby]

I'm truly sorry to hear about the challenges you've faced on your IVF journey. It's indeed a tough and emotional road. Your resilience is admirable, having taken steps to prioritize your mental health and well-being. Don't lose hope just yet, you still have the option of the two remaining frozen eggs. The toll on mental health during this process is significant, and I hope you're surrounded by the support you need. Remember, it's okay to be kind to yourself. The counseling offered by the clinic could be a valuable resource during this time. Take things one step at a time, and I wish you and your husband strength and positivity. xxx

[Twiglet2]

I’m so so sorry 😢 it’s so hard to take, especially when you think this is the one! you have 2 more chances waiting for you though and the good news is that your lining etc was also in a good place! Sometimes it’s not you or your age or any other factor than the embryo that’s meant to be and even with all the science it can come down to luck. All my higher grade embryos haven’t worked but a wee 4BC brought us our perfect boy so it is defo the the luck of the draw with embryos and you have 2 more waiting for you 🤗💜 xx

[Lamagarden]

It’s so hard. With DE the chances are so much higher, I think you’ll get there if you just go a little more. I can relate to the MH struggles. I’ve had 7 egg collections and no ultimate success. Am taking a break to focus on my wellness and MH, it’s so difficult. Wishing you all the luck in the world xx