Feeling anxious due to have first FET next month

[Ty1984]

So it’s been what feels like two years of regulating my hormones and getting my eggs frozen last year and now finally it’s a month away. I have gone from fairly fit to the biggest I’ve been in the past decade currently at 164 lbs at 5’3 so am feeling worried about not being in the condition I had hoped. Also with the festive season just wrapping up I have had some drinks and am due to have some more here and there especially as I will be doing a 7 day pilgrimage through Portugal and Spain with my mum where I’m sure we might have a nightly glass of wine or port and that will be in the week or two prior to my transfer. Have I gone completely off the deep end? Am I putting the whole process in jeopardy with the weight gain and the occasional drinks?

[PRAYINGFORTHISTOWORK]

Hi I just wanted to say I would t worry too much about your weight being on medication and the yo-yo of ivf can make you put on weight, and it’s ok to carry on enjoying everyday life with a glass of wine or two. I would just say maybe to the run up to transfer just be a bit mindful of not over indulging and try and eat and drink things that are going to help with a positive outcome. If you give up all the things you love you will just feel miserable and this journey is hard enough as it is, wishing you all the very best for a good outcome and enjoy your trip with your mum x

[DianeArnold Partner Nurse Fertility Network UK]

Hi Ty. Oh dear, you must put your little embryo first, and give yourself the best chance. No alcohol and party food. Please be sensible and hopefully your embryo will stay and make you the. mother you so want to be. I’ll be thinking of you. Good luck. Diane

[Skittles11]

I disagree with the idea that you have to cut out all alcohol and indulgent food completely. With FET the embryo is already made so I don't feel it quite so vital. Might just be my opinion. It is unsustainable to be good all of the time, it doesn't mean you're not thinking of your embryo. You also have to consider mental health and doing things that bring you joy, its about just being balanced as best you can. If you are concerned maybe have a glass of wine or port from time to time rather than every night leading up to the transfer. X x

[Gempuddleduck in reply to Skittles11]

Agreed ❤️

[MrsOrangejuice]

100% agree with Skittles11 . Obviously non-medical but my view is diet is more important for egg collection whereas for FETs the embryo is made. Not saying it's sensible to go wild as these things can impact your hormones and inflammation etc, but even on egg collections I had markedly better results the second time and it was only a month after the first so doubt diet could have played a part that quickly and certainly hadn't given up booze etc entirely, just I had tried to be sensible and add in more good things. Also I had a loss when relaxing and doing everything 'right' for transfer, followed by a loss when I did everything wrong. Then a success on a FET when frankly I had given up all notions of being 'good'. And after a BFN on another FET, I've fallen pregnant naturally for the first time ever in 10+ years and conceived after and during a period of high stress and boozy weekends, and in probably the worst shape I've ever been in. I'm not saying this is ideal and if you'll beat yourself up if it doesn't work, then maybe not worth it, but I think there are so many factors at play that are entirely out of our hands and it's very difficult to give up the small pleasures that keep up sane for the duration of infertility and treatment (in my case that would have been 10 years!) or miss out on experiences that make life an actual life, and not some on-hold limbo. Maybe just try and find a balance - and enjoy the pilgrimage - it's sounds absolutely incredible and hopefully will put you in a great place mentally for the FET.