I know I'm lucky. IVF worked for us and we have two amazing boys. But I can't shake the feeling of being robbed of some feelings...Does anybody else have a little cry after sex? Because yes, sex is fun, but we will never get pregnant like that? No suprise pregnancy, no 'lets try for a baby' stage... Just needles, meds, appointments...
I still can't shake if off...
yep, I feel the same a little bit. I have a son too but it still hurts a lot x
yes dear same . But you are very lucky you have kids am still in this journey trying for baby via ivf. Just had failed cycle. 😭after having injections and so much
This can be a difficult time - have you taken advantage of the counselling appointment that should be offered while on treatment . If not might be an idea to ask for one Or try the British Infertility Counselling Association bica.net -this is not a free service but they are all specially trained in counselling couples with fertility issues
Take care
Janet-Partner
I don’t think the trauma of infertility is ever really goes away. I’m finally 14 weeks pregnant after 3 years of ivf and I saw two pregnancy announcements online this week and felt really triggered! But I’ve heard from a lot of people that it’s the same but I'm so grateful I’ve got this far.
This is something I find so bizarre and absolutely wasn’t prepared for, but I felt exactly the same way xx
I still get triggered by other peoples pregnancies. I even get angry sometimes with them. It's just so not fair. I have a friend who said I want to get pregnant with a girl. Two months later she was pregnant and then had a girl! And there was me going through ivf yet again....
First off if you still manage to have sex at all *and* do it for fun and enjoy it - that's amazing. I don't think many parents can claim that, or anyone who's been though infertility and IVF. So that's such a massive positive and testament to the strong and loving relationship you must have. But feeling a bit robbed and sad, yes, the way I think of it is like it's a scar that reminds you of what you went through. Over time it fades and for weeks you may not think about it all at but then out of the blue you notice it or it hurts a bit and you just feel a bit sad, or you rememeber all the things that happened. Then you try and focus on all the great stuff. That scar's a part of you and your partner - you can't erase it totally or change the past. So notice it sometimes and cry away (crying is your body's way of making you feel just a little but better). But don't feel guilty - your feelings are totally valid and aren't negated because you finally got what you wanted and had gone through so much for - just try to avoid dwelling on it and letting it be the main narrative x
Thank you for your words. I guess I just need my feelings validated. For no reason. I'm grateful for everything I have, and the boys are my treasure. I wasn't prepared for the pain that failed cycles bring, and the whole inf procedures...I remember when we were told we can't have children, and even with IVF we will struggle. That physical hurt.
My partner is amazing and I wouldn't do it without him.
I just hope one day it will be easier...
I completely get it and I think it's normal. I find I am weirdly dismissive of other people's pregnancies and really not that keen to see pics of their babies, even when they really are and ask about mine. I think deep down I'm still being very defensive and protective, and somehow see myself and situation differently, but of course they could all have been though similar difficulties as we never told we never told anyone. And you don't need to have your feelings validated, they're your feelings and that's that. I know there's a niggling guilt and like you should neve ever complain or be sad because you got what you wanted, but imagine if we applied the same logic to cancer: well you've just got the all clear so how ungrateful are you for still being upset and traumatised by all the chemo, you should be doing cartwheels every morning ...
That's an interesting comparison you used there. Thank you for your words.
I don't really know what I'm looking for but somehow knowing that I'm not the only one that feels guilty and upset make me feel a bit better.
Thank you
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