Hi all - apologies for length of below post. Firstly, thank you to everyone that supported me a couple of weeks ago. That felt like a rather dark time, I am feeling a little better and looking to next steps, for us this involves donor eggs.
However I am feeling quite overwhelmed at where to begin and hoping those of you who have taken / are taking this route may have some valuable insights (thanks to anyone who has already helped on this front).
So I'm at the information gathering stage and the 2 biggest (related) questions for us seem to be:
a) Fresh vs frozen eggs
I know fresh eggs have better rates but risks of cancelled cycles. Can anyone share their experience (good or bad) of using a frozen egg bank?
b) UK or abroad clinic
Although our preference would generally be UK clinic, it honestly feels like there are quite a few barriers e.g. long waits, egg sharing, high costs without much guarantee. So we are not discarding clinics abroad at this stage, in fact we are very tempted.
I wondered if anyone can anyone share their decision making process around these two issues above?
How did you personally decide on a clinic?
Are there any resources anyone can recommend to help aid decision making? I am aware of Donor Conception Network and Paths to Parenthood (and Defining Mum).
Also, has anyone used London Egg Bank or Altrui here in UK?
Thank you xx
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Skittles11
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Hi Skittles, I'm glad to hear that you're feeling a little bit better, and it's really lovely to hear that you're considering donor eggs. My best friend used a clinic in Prague. She got 4 frozen embryos, and she's currently pregnant with her first baby. She had nothing but great things to say about them and how they handled everything.
My own consultant only yesterday spoke with me about donor egg and embryo adoption, and he recommended a clinic in Barcelona. He said the success rate was good. I'm sorry that I don't have a lot of info on it but wanted to comment because the conversation with him was so fresh and also to share a success story from my friends pregnancy.
Sending you so much love and light with your research xx
firstly I'm so sorry that you are going through this. it is such a difficult journey. If you are on instagram I can recomend Defining mum as an excellent account to follow to help you get your head round it.
We used London Egg Bank. We did IVF with London Woman Clinic but originally swapped the Manchster Fertility for Donor Eggs as they did a package with up to two lots of eggs and all transfers until you are pregnany but in the end their wait was too long and it was starting to affect my mental health (it so hard when you have so little control). we decided to switch back the LWC and although they didn't do a package at the time (they do now but I think its £20K!!) it did mean that one batch of eggs would be out last chance but it did work on the first transfer. we paid for 6 eggs, got 8 (it was the last of the donors batch of eggs), 7 fertilised and 4 made it to transfer date.
I do have three friends that have been sucessful aboard. One thing that is worth thinking about is whether you plan on telling your child how they were concieved. If you do then UK may be better as they can find out some information about the donor if they want to when they are older and can contact them if they have given consent. abroad I believe they are completely anonymous.
Feel free to message me if you have any questions, alway happy to help. my instagram account is searching_for_our_rainbow
hi, I’ve just had a fresh donor cycle in Prague. I don’t know outcome yet but had a very positive experience with my clinic. DM if you want details. We went abroad mainly due to financial reasons- after private ivf with OE we are pretty stretched, and I found the idea of somewhere new, a change of environment really appealing. I have negative associations with UK based fertility clinics- just because of my poor outcomes- so abroad felt right ; like a fresh start( excuse the pun!) . I did a basic package which was around 5800euro and guaranteed two blastocysts , but we got three. One was transferred a week ago. Very best of luck
I am in the midst of Using DE at a clinic in Spain. I can’t speak highly enough of them it’s been such a different and more positive experience after several rounds in the UK, even though we still are yet to have any success.
The only disadvantage for us using a Spanish clinic was the anonymous donors. We initially felt quite strongly about wanting non anonymous donors and therefore using a clinic in the UK. However, when it came down to it the waiting times were long and the costs were huge without the guarantees Europe offers such as number of blastocysts over eggs. After five years of TTC time was not on our side anymore. Living in Scotland we’d have had to travel elsewhere in the UK anyway. We had already done an OE round in Spain and really felt that they were the best chance for us in the end.
Feel free to DM anytime. Wishing you all the best moving forward. I felt such a weight lift after I’d made the decision to move to donor eggs so hopefully in time you will too. You are quite right there’s so much to think about and deal with, it’s completely overwhelming. Xx
If you have treatment in the UK you cannot do a fresh transfer anymore as there are new HFEA rules that say there has to be a quarantine period for screening purposes. This may not be the case abroad…
That is interesting and I think one of the professionals I spoke to mentioned this but didn't go into detail and to be honest I let it slide as there was so much other content in the appointment. But yes thinking back I was not sure what she meant by this. Do you know how long the quarantine is? I will look at HFEA rules on this, thanks for pointing it out
I’m currently having a DE IVF cycle on the NHS with my younger sisters eggs. Their quarantine period was 6 months but they have just managed to reduce this to 3 months. Good luck! 🍀
My clinic will only release eggs once the three month ‘quarantine’ period is up too, however they have plenty of eggs banked that have already passed this and are ready to use. It makes perfect sense really. Testing for infectious diseases that don’t show up at collection but might develop later on, like god forbid HIV. I felt really reassured by this. The chances are very small but I couldn’t imagine doing a fresh transfer where something sinister could be lurking! X
We ultimately decided against donor eggs but I recall that after my first unsuccessful round of IVF my consultant suggested donor eggs from a clinic in the US where they apparently match you with hair and eye colour and skin tone etc and if you didn't get pregnant from the batch of eggs purchased you got your money back or another set free or something. I rejected the idea out of hand at that time because not only did I want to try with my own eggs, I also thought £20k + flights +accommodation was unbelievably expensive although it's fair to say I have spent more than that on my now failed attempts at using my own eggs. I guess if I was going down the donor eggs route I would want to try either with anonymous eggs or with eggs from my sister if she was willing to donate as she would have the same genetic pool to draw from as me. Wishing you all the best with whatever you choose Xxx
P.s. PM me if you want details of the clinic and/or consultant.
hi everyone ,
I’m about to start my double donor journey .
I have one straw of donor sperm from Denmark left at my current U.K. clinic
I’ve spoken several times to my own clinic who have around 30 egg donors on their U.K. books at the moment, and also a specialist clinic in London
Both offer two rounds at a set price and 50% back if neither donor rounds are successful
One in london is slightly more expensive - however after further questioning the two cycle package in london involves eggs they specially choose. Where as if you have singular rounds with them you can choose your own donor. They also have a photograph of the donor and one of you and once you’ve narrowed down your choices - they can compare the photos and help you make a final decision (you don’t get to see these pics)
Whereas my current clinic who has about 20 branches in the U.K. have very low numbers of donors on their books currently and you can’t see these profiles until you’ve paid a registration fee. However you can choose your two donors; if first round is unsuccessful you get to choose the second one yourself .
No photo matching with them and less choice , but they said as I was already with them there wouldn’t really be a wait time .
With london clinic they needed to see all my previous medical history and pelvic ultra sound to be no more than 6 months old - or would need to be repeated .
They said that due to cost of living you could have the same treatment at their bristol or Cardiff branches for £2,500 cheaper - which was also closer to me than London
There’s a current two week wait for initial comsulation at the london clinic they said due to staff holidays (£250 cost for this)
They said from consultation to transfer it would be around 2-3 months and that I’d need to visit clinic around 4-5 times for each round
Based on two embryo transfers they said success rate was around 69% but this was dependant on lots of other factors too
They wouldn’t initially accept my current SD as wasn’t from one of their rec banks but did after discussion as it’s already in the U.K.
they needed full report on this donor
I’m still deciding which clinic to use as there are pro and cons to both .
Both required a medical exam to be accepted for two round package and BMI to be under a certain number
The london clinic also said they would need to look into my endo diagnosis as this may make me count me out of being accepted for two round package
I’ve not really looked too much into clinics abroad , so can’t comment on that - but feel after speaking to both clinics I have a clearer picture of next steps and starting to get excited about starting treatment once I decide where to do it
if anyone wants to chat - I’m here - I don’t come on very often as crazy busy at work at the minute - but always happy to share my experiences and I’ve found the network very supportive
The DCN have been amazing too- within two minutes of putting a question out there on their double donor what’s app group - I was met by a flurry of messages and offers of talking . I’ve spoken to two ladies on the phone via their network and it’s been lovely to not feel so alone .
They also do zoom meets, catch ups , and have lots of useful resources online
HiWe've just gone through a DE cycle at a UK clinic after failed OE cycles. We used the same clinic as convenient and I trusted the consultants (they are science led and don't sell the add-ons). We also wanted to use the uk as non-anonymous and I don't think I could deal with timing trips abroad in sync with a donor (if you are using fresh eggs) - but that's just me and my work commitments.
Our clinic are now of the view that fresh/frozen success rates are only very marginally different due to new techniques they employ. Frozen also is much more convenient as you're not syncing up with the donor and you have a better idea of what you are getting.
In terms of waiting list our clinic had 3 months but it coincided with me needing to take some drugs for 3 months so wasn't really a wait as such for us, but i think they also said that the list was reducing as they had more donors coming on board.
We purchased a large set of 9 eggs but got 10. They all defrosted, and 8 fertilised. We only got 2 blastocysts which I was a bit disappointed about however happy to report that the first one transferred implanted and we are now 13 weeks pregnant.
It is daunting to know where to start but in my experience I knew when I had found the right clinic for me. We chose the clinic in Barcelona following 6 years of gynae complications and lots of operations on the NHS and privately. I can’t recommend the clinic enough and I now have a 6 week old baby girl. I honestly can’t believe it! Although it is a bit of a hassle travelling abroad, there are huge benefits in terms of no waiting lists, fresh egg cycles and cost. Personally I felt extremely comfortable at the clinic; everyone was so kind and I didn’t feel like I was in a different country. I also made the most of being away and had a mini holiday!
I think I’ve always been underprepared in this process and felt my way through it.
After the third failed transfer with my own eggs (also after 3x IUI) and a year of back to back treatments I said to the consultant ‘Enough’ but he suggested donor eggs and a clinic in Spain. He suggested it because it was affiliated with a another local clinic in the UK.
So I didn’t have your list of questions. I was just grateful for someone giving me advice as I was doing it on my own. The consultant was also very matter of fact, always had been and I trusted him re the advice. I don’t trust a lot of people!
Fresh ended in chemical, 2nd frozen in missed miscarriage at 7 weeks, 3rd BFN, 4th is looking good so far at 9 weeks (if it was at school it would be top of the class in every test it’s taken) but I can’t relax yet! I’ve read way to much in this forum to know never count your chickens.
I was a bit green when I started. Thought donor eggs were the miracle answer. Expected results first time, almost gave up after the third transfer and bfn. It doesn’t make it emotionally easier.
But the affiliation with the UK clinic has been such an easy way to do it from the practical level. Scans over here, blood tests etc, they transcribe the prescriptions that I get from Spain. It’s been so easy. (In ivf terms). I’ve got a clinic here I can go to if I’m worried but I can also talk to Spain anytime. They have dedicated English speakers and are very responsive.
That would be my suggestion if you did go abroad, find a clinic abroad with an affiliation with a clinic local to you. Kind of a hybrid approach.
No waiting list- they were ready when I was after the initial tests they did insist on. Some were a repeat of ones I had in the UK, I chose to go to Spain to do these, it was cheaper. 7 blasts, 1 fresh, 6 frozen. Initial cost excluding tests, circa 6,500 euros, then 1,300 per transfer after that, about 1,000 freezing pa. The costs up to my 4th DE transfer has cost less than half that of the three transfers in the uk with my own eggs but I only ever had 1 or on the last try 2 to transfer, none to freeze. I don’t think the actual FET costs are significantly different between Spain and the UK, as the clinic in the UK inadvertently invoiced me for a FET once. That’s something maybe to look at. The costs quoted above are likely to have increased by now . I signed up pre- covid and they honoured that price.
You have to factor in air fares and accommodation. I did a trial run before my first transfer when I had the tests. I went to Spain, hand luggage only, took medication and made a big show of them to security and they were fine with them, worked out how to get to city centre from airport, where the clinic was, where to buy food (self catering), anything to take the stress out of the journey on the real attempt.
Air fares can be tricky as you don’t know exactly when you need to travel so you can’t always get the cheapest. I suppose I just got used to packing the standard carry on bag and not adding any extras and making do with that for the 2-3 days I was there. I got it down to two nights 2.5 days off work.
I know nothing about the donors other than the eggs came from a 24 year old and they have confirmed pregnancies. I’ve had to trust the clinic but for some reason I do and like I said I don’t trust people easily.
From what I understand the Spanish have a culture of donation which is why they can find donors so easily and quickly.
I have to be honest too, I found the whole donor process in the uk hard. Reading all the biogs of the donors, how do you choose? It was frustrating as most of those with confirmed pregnancies were not available. Having that taken over by the clinic, who do match your characteristics with the donors, i think they did facial recognition too, I think made it easier for me to focus on me. It’s probably a better matching process too, not swayed but how someone describes someone or that need to pick the best sounding donor I always felt under pressure to do. What if I got it wrong! Added stress and that was just sperm donors.
There are some differences in requirements in Spain vs the uk. I had trouble finding the whole suite of tests they wanted in the uk which is another reason why I went to Spain to do them. They prescribed 60 clexane where the uk say 40. I’ve managed to get it on the nhs so I have 40 not the 60 they asked for but I told them that and they are ok with it.
So I can’t compare the full donor experience in the UK to full donor experience abroad but my experience abroad has been positive. Other than delays starting due to covid!
Plus you get a few days abroad, and that’s been lovely, or more if you want to make a short break out of it.
It is totally anonymous. There is that difficulty with not being able to give the child any infomation about the donors although you can share the wonders of how they came to be. Not sure yet how I’ll tackle that. I think I’ll probably end just trusting my instincts. Life is going to throw curve balls at you, that is in a way part of being alive, at least this isn’t a typical curve ball, you know it’s coming and have time to plan for it!
hope that helps. I’m normally a total control freak, wanting to analyse everything, make decisions based on facts I’ve gathered. I’m a mathematician and scientist turned accountant so analysis is what I do and it’s how my brain works. It’s been an experience letting go of that control and actually I feel a lot calmer because of it.
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