About to start IVF

[KellyCPT]

Hi Everyone. I'm due to start my IVF journey in a few weeks as a single person. No one in my network has had IVF and I'd welcome any advice/top tip/anything.

I'm starting injections in a couple of weeks - would be great to hear any experiences

[km307]

Hi Kelly,

Fellow solo mum here, had my daughter via IVF in Jan 2022 and am now doing a second cycle hoping for a sibling. I was really nervous about the injections and physical impact of the hormones, but actually found it easier than I expected. What kind of protocol are you doing?

There’s a few solo mums on here, and there’s also a great solo mums U.K. Facebook group if you’re on Facebook.

Happy to answer any questions 😊

[KellyCPT in reply to km307]

Thanks so much for your response 😊 lovely to hear from a solo mum to!

I'm doing a short protocol (Menopur 150 & Gonal-f 150). This is a whole new foreign world to me! My initial scan showed 14 follicles and my AMH was "average" (can't quite remember the number!). I've hot another scan just before I start the injections in a couple of weeks. I'm planning on working throughout the injection phase... is this wishful thinking?!

I've joined the FB solo mum's group, thank you 😊

[Football61 in reply to KellyCPT]

Hi Kelly, another (hopeful) solo mum here. I’m 44 and did my first IVF cycle in May. I’m doing a second cycle now, with egg collection on Monday. I was pretty nervous about the injections and impact of the hormones ahead of my first cycle - but it was easier than I expected. I’ve worked from home during my two stims phases (I just told work that I had a “medical procedure” - I’ve not told them about IVF). To be honest, the most stressful thing I’ve encountered during my two cycles is my clinic - they make quite a few mistakes, so I have to really be on my guard. I’ve not told anyone that I’m doing IVF apart from my parents, so this forum has been a g0d-send for me. Wishing you the very best of luck, and please feel free to DM me at any time - happy to help! x

[KellyCPT in reply to Football61]

Hey. Great to hear from someone in the same boat as me, but slightly ahead! Sounds like your clinic are adding unhelpful stress.

I've not told work anything yet, but planning on saying I've got a few medical procedures coming up. I manage a team of workers (face to face, sadly not home based) who will very quickly notice any shift in my availability or being slightly less effective at work 🙄

I've only told my parents and 1 friend about my upcoming IVF. It's a weird thing to talk about (I think). This is my first time on a forum - I reckon it will be super helpful!

Good luck with your egg collection on Monday. Happy to DM x

[km307 in reply to KellyCPT]

That sounds like a good number! How old are you? (Sorry if that’s a rude question!) I am doing long protocol just on gonal f, but max dose due to my age

I am taking the end of my stims / egg collection off work, mainly as I don’t want to have to explain all the absence. Physically I would be happy to work, but I can’t do the very early scans with child care to manage, and it’s two hours out with travel, which ends up being quite a bit of time out. I worked through my first cycle, except egg collection, but it was during the pandemic so everyone was working from home, and mostly I did 8 am appts so was home again by 9 anyway.

[KellyCPT in reply to km307]

I'm 38 (nearly 39). Did you do your first round as a solo parent? How did you find it? This may be a silly question, but what's the difference between short and long protocol, is it the timescales for medication?

Did you always plan on having a Sibling? I haven't even gotten that far in my head yet 🤣

[km307 in reply to KellyCPT]

I was 40 when I did my first cycle, and yes, that was also as a solo mum. I have a couple of good friends that I had told about doing IVF and found it really helpful to have them to chat to. It helped that one of them did IVF with her husband so could talk to me about the process.

Long protocol starts with a period of down regulation before starting stims, usually around day 21 of a cycle. This effectively turns off all the hormones and then stims start 2/3 weeks later. Short protocol starts on about day 2 of a cycle, and you take stims and then meds to prevent ovulation.

I hadn’t always planned on a sibling, I wasn’t sure I’d even be lucky enough to get one! But I tried my frozen embryos just to see, and fell pregnant then miscarried, and that made me sure I wanted to try again.

[KellyCPT in reply to km307]

Thanks so much for sharing your experiences! Hope your second cycle goes smoothly and is successful 😊

[SMBCnewbie]

I froze my eggs in June 2020 and then did a fresh cycle with my frozen eggs added in May this year. The transfer didn't work but gearing up for an FET, although that might be cancelled because I chose natural cycle and typically the transfer might fall on a Sunday so the clinic won't do it. I'm solo but have told close family and friends and just my employer, not my colleagues. I took 3 weeks off over the May stims (1 week holiday, 2 signed off) as my job is too stressful and I was worried it might impact the outcome. You can get a bit uncomfortable towards the end just before egg retrieval - full and bloated and I felt quite tired. Everyone is different though and work might be a helpful distraction. Just make sure you can relax and eat well and be kind to yourself. Hope it all goes well

[Eloquentia]

Hi! Very best of luck with your first cycle. If you haven't already, I recommend reading 'It all starts with the egg'. Some great advice on food supplements and life style changes to help improve fertility. Also, it might be worth asking your clinic for recommendations on fertility food supplements. My clinic recommended Proxeed and that worked well, I think. Last tip, fertility reflexology. I found it really calming in the run up to my last transfer. Try to think of IVF as a journey and not to get too fixed expectations about when it is going to work, just keep the hope that it will, in the end and every step gets you closer to your goal. I personally found it less taxing on the body than I feared (the injections didn't really hurt, it was more the psychological barrier of doing the first few) but very demanding emotionally and psychologically. It is an emotional roller coaster (not helped by being pumped with all those hormones!) and you have very little control over the outcome most of the time. So try to find ways to keep calm and to stay positive.

[KellyCPT in reply to Eloquentia]

Thank you! I downloaded "It all starts with the egg" following your recommendation on my Kindle this morning - nearly finished it 🤣 really useful info. Has reassured me about my supplements! I've been doing accupuncture twice a week... apparently it helps with IVF. Not sure if it does or not, but it has definitely made me feel way more relaxed!

[Eloquentia in reply to KellyCPT]

Fantastic! Doing accupuncture regularly is great. I am not a fan of needles, which is why I went for reflexology and making you feel relaxed it what matters the most during IVF. The only caveat with these treatments is that they are not recommended after transfer and up until the end of the first trimester.

[ttcsolomummytobe]

Hey! Welcome!

Another hopeful solo mum to be here! I did 3 IUIs at end of 22 into 23 and unfortunately they didn't work. I signed up to mild IVF (short protocol ) in June and on Monday completed a fresh transfer of a day 3 embryo.

I chose mild as I was really worried about the meds and really hate injections but honestly found it all fine and easier than I expected. I recommend getting a gel ice pack in your freezer to ice the area, pinch the skin when injecting and to inject the medication slowly, give it a few seconds after the injection has finished, release the skin and then remove the needle.

Work wise my employers have been really supportive, I WFH and I managed to work through the meds to EC fine, I did take a couple of days off after transfer mainly because I was struggling with cognitive stuff and didn't want to misadvise or not support people the best.

Friends wise/sharing your journey - none of my friends have infertility experience and with my IUIs I was telling all my friends, even had a donor picking party, telling them all the updates, it truly was exciting but unfortunately when it didn't work I felt that by speaking to so many it was extending the trauma and hurt and unfortunately they didn't have answers, just more questions. Also I found they were speaking to me everyday stuff/gossip/their life/crap TV because they assumed I was too busy or it wouldn't be important to me. Decided when I went into the IVF that I would tell 1 friend (as needed her to pick me up from EC due to sedation) and my Dad. Honestly it has done my mental health a world of good and also even now in the 2WW because friends don't know of the situation it's good that I'm not being asked by them and still being invited to do things and just a great distraction.

Good luck with your treatment x

[KellyCPT in reply to ttcsolomummytobe]

Good to 'meet' another hopeful solo mum to be! I imagine you must be waiting for time to pass until you can do a pregnancy test - crossing everything for you!

That's really useful to know re telling people - that's my worry if I tell too many people, that it then all becomes about treatment (not normal life stuff) and also if it doesn't work then it's more questions that I may want to have to answer (although I get they would come from a place of concern and love).

I leaning towards "playing it by ear" working during the process... I'll aim to work but secretly frontload everything at work in case I need to take a few days off.

Good luck for your pregnancy test x

[ttcsolomummytobe]

Thank you so much. Oh absolutely re the coming from a place of concern and love but sometimes it can be hard when you dont have the answers and unfortunately alot of fertility can feel that way.

You definitely need to do what's right by you and play it by ear, had I known months ago how much easier the injections etc were I would have done it sooner.

The meds part will go quick, it's defo the EC to transfer and the 2WW that goes slow x

[polykleitos]

Hi @KellyCPT, I recently started IVF as a (hopeful) solo mum. I was able to work throughout my stims but I could wfh. In my case I would have needed to call in sick for the last 2 days of stims if I hadn't been able to hide with wfh - but I was unlucky and the meds didn't seem to agree with me. I'd definitely say to think about your injection timings to see if you can find a way that doesn't interfere with work or totally kill your social life in the evening. Could also be a good idea to have phone chats with friends and family over the days when you are stimming because some people find this part lonely as a single.

[KellyCPT in reply to polykleitos]

Such helpful info - thank you! How are you getting on with your IVF journey so far? I suspect I'll need to take some time off work as I'm in a face-to-face role which is quite demanding (chairing multiple meetings daily, frequent risk decisions, periods of chaos etc).

[Football61]

Hi, wishing you masses of luck for tomorrow - I really hope it goes well for you. I’m feeling like a bit of a wreck at the moment, as I’ve not responded to the stims as well as my last cycle. When I took my first trigger last night, I couldn’t remove the lid for love nor money. I yanked it off, it stabbed my finger, and then the needle bent sideways. I almost passed out from panic 🤣🤣. What larks, eh. Best of luck x

[Football61]

Oh dear, I’m really sorry hear that. That would stress me out. Hopefully she was just having an off-day when she did your transfer, and she’ll be great tomorrow. There will be lots of people in the theatre during the procedure, so hopefully she’ll have some good support. Wishing you the very best of luck x

[Doodlebug23]

Hi, I am going through this journey solo too. I am on round 4 - 1 NHS and this is 3rd time private. I have my pregnancy test tomorrow and I’m dreading it tbh. Sounds odd but this time round I’m feeling pregnant until proven otherwise.

One thing I have been sensitive to is all the things around not having a man around. Silly things from pictures on sites of couples to the second gown in the hospital being big enough for a man - my mum was with me.

Hope everything goes ok for you ☺️

[KellyCPT in reply to Doodlebug23]

Thanks for sharing your experiences so far. So helpful reading everyone's insights and journeys to date.

Wishing you all the best for your test tomorrow! 😊😊 x

[Football61 in reply to Doodlebug23]

Good luck for tomorrow - I have my fingers crossed for you! x

[Doodlebug23 in reply to Football61]

Negative 😢

[KellyCPT in reply to Doodlebug23]

😔 such a rollercoaster of a process. X

[Doodlebug23 in reply to KellyCPT]

That’s a great description! I’ve been up this time round being positive. Now her comes the down 😔

[KellyCPT in reply to Doodlebug23]

I've sent you a PM

[Doodlebug23 in reply to KellyCPT]

💕

[Doodlebug23]

thank you x

[KellyCPT]

How did your egg retrieval go?x

[KellyCPT]

This is really useful - thank you!

[Football61]

Hey - thanks so much for asking. I didn’t get as many eggs as my first cycle in May, but it was still better than I expected. I had nothing to transfer last time, so everything we’ve done this time has been to improve the maturity/quality of my eggs - and try and get that one precious euploid. I guess it’s out of my hands now, but I’m so scared about the call from the embryologist tomorrow. How did you get on? Hope all well ❤️

[KellyCPT]

Well done for getting through it without general... I definitely won't be that brave 🤣 25 sounds like a really good amount in my unexperienced brain! Keep us posted with how many fertilise. I'm also using donor sperm - choosing a donor was a whole experience in itself!

[Football61]

Glad to hear it went so well for you - fingers crossed. I did Pergoveris from the start this time and upped the dosage (I only started Pergoveris on Day 3 last time). I took Genotropin MiniQuick 0.4mg for 4 weeks before my stims, and then upped the dosage to 1.2mg during my stims. My Medical Director was v honest and said that the Growth Hormone can’t improve the quality of the eggs - but there is some research which shows that it can push some embryos to blast stage. I also did a double trigger. It’s a bit upsetting that I got less eggs than last time, but I guess that’s the gamble we were taking in order to try and improve the quality 🙏