16dpt

[Swim2184]

Hi all

I am 16 days post a FET transfer, the result was positive on the 13 day confirmed in a blood test. Two years ago I also had a positive, at 8 weeks we had a scan and there was a heartbeat but slow growth. At 12 weeks there was no heartbeat. I am really struggling this time to deal with the emotions of all of it. Just wanting some advice from others who had had a miscarriage but went on to have successful pregnancies, how did you cope? Did you scan and test Hcg levels at 8 weeks?

Thank you for listening!!

[Mummybear171923]

First off congratulations 🥳🥳My story is a little different than yours. In my first pregnancy my 7 wk scan went well but we found out something wasn't right at our 12wk scan and I lost my wee girl at almost 14wks.

This was devastating but I have since went on to have two healthy boys.

I won't lie I was very anxious with both of their pregnancies and I wasn't able to get the thought out of my head that something would go wrong but I tried to accept that if it did it was completely out of my hands and that until I had something to worry about I would try and not stress about it. This had mixed success.

I had my 7wk scans at the clinic to confirm my pregnancies and I was offered a reassurance scan at 9wks with my first son and we chose to to the Harmony test with my second at 10.5wks but apart from that I had no extra scans or bloods.

It is so difficult to relax at all when pregnant after fertility treatment but after a loss it is all but impossible but try to focus on the here and now and right now you have wee bundle of joy growing inside of you 🙂

Don't try and shut out any of your emotions but if they are heading into the negative direction maybe allow yourself a few minutes to feel them and then try and put them away and enjoy being pregnant.

Wishing you all the best xx

[Swim2184 in reply to Mummybear171923]

Thank you Mummybear171923, your story has given me hope. It’s so hard after a miscarriage to feel relaxed and happy about being pregnant. It’s almost like safeguarding yourself from what you expect to happen. Great advice on how to deal with the negative emotions. Thank you again!!!

[km307]

I’m sorry about your loss in your previous cycle and congrats on your BFP. I had a missed miscarriage after my first fresh transfer, and was lucky to fall pregnant on my next frozen transfer.

I found I was very stressed for most of the first four or five months of the pregnancy. I had my clinic scan at 6.5 weeks, then private scans at 8 and 10 weeks, NHS scan at 12 weeks and another private scan at 15 weeks. After that I started to feel movement and managed to relax a bit

I’ve just tested positive in my next frozen cycle, trying for a sibling, and I’m already feeling stressed!

I recommend the book ‘pregnancy after loss’ by Zoe Coates which helped me.

[Swim2184 in reply to km307]

Thank you km307, congratulations to you as well!! Wishing you all the best!! I am also keen to do more scans this time. Hoping the first one is okay in a couple of weeks. Well at least we’re in this together, also trying for a sibling.

[DreamingOfTwo79]

Hello Swim, congratulations on your pregnancy 💕 I can very much relate to the anxiety after loss and I don't have a failproof receipe I'm afraid, I am trying to accept that the anxiety and fear of losing this baby will be very much my steady companion for the next weeks and quite possibly months. I have better days and days where the fear of history repeating itself completely envelops me and I am unable to function at work, this kind of paralysis can probably only be fully understood by people who were put on this road. I am currently nine and a half weeks pregnant after an FET with a PGT-A tested embryo and I have had two blood hCG tests at 12 and 14dp5dt, my fertility clinic's viability scan at 7 weeks and a reassurance scan at my local EPU at nine weeks. All the signs so far have been nothing but positive and yet I can get completely choked up with worry that something will go wrong again. I had my wonderful little boy via a natural pregnancy almost five years ago and we sadly lost four babies since, most of them between 10 and 12 weeks so my own personal critical period is still very much ahead of me and sometimes I don't know how best to cope. I am trying breathing exercises (borrowed from yoga nitra and hypnobirthing), finding time for self-care or just gentle walks in the sun to keep me on an even keel. I very much feel it helps me to acknowledge my emotions and to give myself a lot of grace in this first trimester. But at the same time I still feel a lot of guilt at work as the past year of having IVF treatment has taken a huge toll on my productivity already and I worry that my manager's patience will run out before I get into a better place, hopefully once I can feel baby move. I find a lot of comfort in my little boy as well and it reminds me of how fortunate I have already been, why should it not work out well again?

As for frequent hCG testing, my clinic advised against it after the second level came back fine as the higher the hCG the slower the doubling rate will be and only a scan between 6-7 week can give you a reliable view as to viability at that point in time. Like other ladies said before me, you always have the option of booking private scans if you feel you need this for your peace of mind. We so happened to be on a 10 day holiday right after my 7 week scan which turned out to be so blissful and soothing for my worried soul. And it helped to pass the time until the next scan, lots of sunshine and distance to work really helped to keep me calmer than I had been in weeks. You may also consider writing a journal during this challenging period? Or record little messages to yourself on how you're feeling? I am finding it helpful to put my worries down in writing so that I have acknowledged them and got them out of my system at that moment and then spend real effort on reminding myself of all the positive signs and indications that this pregnancy is here to stay without trying to compare it to the previous ones. It is really hard but this pregnancy is unique just like our previous ones, we must try and allow this pregnancy to follow its own path, there is so little we can influence outside of rest and a healthy diet where possible.

You are very much in good company, lovely, we are all here to support each other through these difficult moments on our journey to making our dearest dreams a reality. Much love xx

[Swim2184 in reply to DreamingOfTwo79]

Wishing you all the best for your pregnancy. Fingers crossed that everything works!! Thank you for sharing your story really helped me.