Talking about miscarriages (trigger 🚨) - Fertility Network UK

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Talking about miscarriages (trigger 🚨)

A_Fortune profile image
A_Fortune
•9 Replies

So today, at 9 weeks and 6 days, I lost my baby.

This was my second round of IVF and my second miscarriage.

The first one was at 6 weeks and just felt like a period. This one, at 9 weeks feels like a nightmare physically and mentally. No need to go into details, but my body has been suffering.

I am 39 years old and seem to be able to get pregnant, but then miscarriage comes and crushes my dreams.

I have severe endometriosis which does not allow me to get pregnant but not sure how it impacts pregnancy.

Anyone out there with a similar story? Can I please hear your advice?

Is it too late for my body to be able to carry a successful pregnancy? Should I throw the towel in or is there something that I’m not doing?

thanks in advance for hearing me out x

#miscarriage #ivf

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A_Fortune profile image
A_Fortune
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9 Replies
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Solly-44 profile image
Solly-44

oh love, I’m so, so sorry. I had 2 back to back pregnancies from IVF and lost both at similar gestations to you last year. I was absolutely devastated. It is so cruel and I hope you have lots of support and love around you.

Please know that there’s nothing you could have done to change the outcome. And don’t think it’s time to throw in the towel unless that’s what you want. Im currently 33 weeks and I’m a couple of years older than you so life can definitely turn around and surprise you still. Sending you the biggest hug xx

A_Fortune profile image
A_Fortune• in reply toSolly-44

thank you so much for sharing that 😭💜

Positive20 profile image
Positive20

Hi Fortune. I don’t have endo so I can’t relate to you entirely, I’m a couple of years younger than you but ended up having multiple transfers for years unsuccessfully and then one miscarriage at 6 weeks. So my problem was I just didn’t seem to be able to get pregnant with no reason or explanation why as my uterus looked very healthy and the eggs were good grades.

I am currently 30 weeks pregnant now on our last attempt, just saying this to give you hope that sometimes there is no reason or explanation why things happen but it can - unfortunately it can just take multiple attempts and it’s so difficult as it ends up being a case of how much can you put yourself through. Good luck with your journey and I hope you are utilising support regarding your miscarriage, there are support lines you can talk to and my heart goes out to you xxx

A_Fortune profile image
A_Fortune

thanks for your kind words and all the best for the rest of your pregnancy 💜

Positive20 profile image
Positive20• in reply toA_Fortune

Thank you xxx 😘

LuxFleur profile image
LuxFleur

I'm so sorry for the loss of your baby. I lost my daughter two years ago at around 10 weeks. We ran genetic tests and found she had a fatal trisomy which was the cause of the miscarriage (this is also how we learned her gender, from these tests). It was a terrible time and I'm so sorry you are going through this. It is very different from an earlier loss, which I also had. I also have severe endo and can't get pregnant naturally. It is not too late for you to carry a successful pregnancy, and most miscarriages at that stage happen because of a fatal genetic abnormality, not because of anything happening with your body. Even PGT testing is not always accurate, as is shown by healthy babies born from "abnormal" embryos and also I think how many "normal" embryos do not take. There is increasingly a push NOT to consider these tests reliable. The fact that your pregnancy made it to 9 weeks is probably a sign that the pregnancy itself was strong, but your baby simply ran out of what they needed in their genetic toolkit. It's not your fault. Your ability to get pregnant and stay pregnant worked. But as with most miscarriages at that stage, it was most likely a genetic issue, which is just the roll of the dice and unlucky. But of course your doctor will know more if he or she thinks there could be something else that is going on, and maybe you can look into that. This is a huge loss and a real grief to process, and I'm so sorry you're going through it. Do what you can to honor this experience of maternal grief, it is very real. I doesn't mean that you won't be able to be pregnant again in the future or to carry a baby to term. xoxoxo

Legallyblonde39 profile image
Legallyblonde39

Morning, so sorry for your loss. I had 2 x missed miscarriages at 6 and 8 weeks. I also had 5 chemical miscarriages. At 39 I had my second transfer and my wee boy turns 1 in August. It's hard to stay positive but it can happen xx

what you are going through now is just awful and I am so sorry for your loss. I tried to conceive for almost 6 years and in that time I had 6 pregnancy losses. 3 miscarriages - 1 of those a missed miscarriage, 2 ectopic pregnancies and 1 chemical. My miscarriages were early like yours at about 6 weeks and my missed miscarriage was my first IVF attempt and we found out at our dating scan. They could never tell me why the pregnancy losses occurred. We kept going and on my last chance frozen embryo, it worked! I’m 39 and my little boy is 5 weeks old. I have no clue why it worked this time and didn’t do too much different apart from taking additional Lubion injections (I didn’t have the suppositories at all this time) I also had Clexane injections but had previously used these when I miscarried also. Wishing you all the luck in the world for the rest of your journey xx

A_Fortune profile image
A_Fortune

thanks for taking the time to share a little bit of hope 💜

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