11dp6dt OTD: BFN

[Jodes-2018]

Hi all just a quick update, I managed to hold out testing until this morning. Since 7dp ET I knew I hadn’t made it happen. Ladies with Endo know that pain all too well don’t we? I’ve had zero bleeding in comparison to my first round, but I’m on a ton of progesterone and estrogen that’ll be it right?

I know second OTD is Thursday but nope, my luck is out I know it is.

Now to navigate through the grief, get my body back to some kind of normal right?! Jeez this is a hard pill to swallow. I’ve done only two transfers but I just can’t put my body through that again.

Any tips for not losing my mind?

[Daisy0909]

I’m so sorry, my OTD was today and it was BFN, I also have endometriosis too. This was my second transfer, I had pain throughout the TWW so had no idea what was going on. Really starting to think that my body is inhospitable for a baby 😢

[Jodes-2018 in reply to Daisy0909]

Gosh me too! It’s like I know straight away it’s not going to accept it. Absolutely brutal isn’t it? I’m so sorry xxx

[Daisy0909 in reply to Jodes-2018]

just try and take it easy and be kind to yourself, sending lots of love x

[Ladycoco20]

sorry your having a tough time of it … I’m waiting for my bleed after failed 3rd fet Thursday 😔 iv been feeling all over the place it’s all the medication & our bodies have been though a lot … I’m trying to rest when I can hot water bottle & pain killers . Xx

[Jodes-2018 in reply to Ladycoco20]

I’m so sorry, it’s no fun this at all is it? Reevaluating everything, this process takes so much from us doesn’t it? Yes painkillers and a nice soak in the bath has helped xxx

[Ladycoco20 in reply to Jodes-2018]

it’s exhausting… holding some space for you tonight .. take care of you xx

[Amywoz84]

So sorry to hear this time didn’t work.

I’m not sure of your background but can try to give advice! Do you have frozen embryos or will you need to do another full cycle?

I have done 4 rounds in total over 1.5 years and it was my 5th transfer that worked.. we almost gave up after round 3 as it was causing a lot of stress and relationship problems, but agreed to keep going. it is so hard to constantly live in limbo with the ivf journey but my advice is to have a bit of a break, book a holiday if possible with friends or partner and try again when you are 100% ready physically and emotionally. Between my 4th and 5th transfers I had a 6 month break unintentionally but I think it helped me to re-charge. (6 months might be too long for some people I know)

It also helps to try as much as possible to carry on with normal life in between cycles, book fun things to do, spend time with positive people, learn something new, focus completely on yourself and you as a person rather than letting IVF consume/define you and do things you enjoy doing. It is so hard I know but keep trying and don’t give up. It will be worth it in the end.

When you are ready speak to your consultant and you can begin to think about the next steps and you will begin to feel more positive.

[Jodes-2018 in reply to Amywoz84]

Hey, I have stage 4 endometriosis, first round was a full cycle then second was a medicated FET with my last embryo. Both cycles at 7dp et I’ve had Endo pains and just known it hasn’t worked. The pain that the estrogen causes I just don’t know if my body could do it again unless they tried a different protocol.

Yes, I agree with normality throughout the first round I had 6 weeks off work due to the pain but this time I haven’t needed to take any time off. Who knows what my clinic will suggest re. Next steps it’s NHS funded so I have no idea if they’d consider offering anymore.

The struggle is real isn’t it? X

[KediT]

I’m so sorry we are in the same boat. It was my 1st one and we had a MF and really went in positive but ended up with a BFN. I have never been so desperate for a positive pregnancy test in my life. I have no Frosties in the freezer and wondering if I should have considered the IUi 1st because it was one of the options the dr suggested in the beginning but ultimately decided to go straight into IVF.

[Jodes-2018 in reply to KediT]

I am so sorry 😢 it’s one of the toughest journeys I have ever been on. We don’t have any Frosties left either. I feel numb this second time round but that could be all the medication. I do hope you’re ok! X

[KediT in reply to Jodes-2018]

Ohhhhh dearest that’s what makes the process even more difficult, because one must think of starting from scratch. It took me 4 months to get to transfer. I must say say that I had a meltdown on day 10 after I tested and feel like it helped in terms of preparing me for OTD even though I was still hoping for a miracle. Called the doctor in the morning and I was advised to stop all meds and will see him on Saturday for a review.

We will both be ok in time for now let’s allow ourselves to go through all these emotions. When the time is right, God will make it happen. Sending you lots of love & light

[Hope6108]

I’m so sorry to read of your BFN… it’s just awful to see people who want something so badly, not get what they want/deserve. ☹️

I have no tips on how to pull the pieces back together as my partner and I are doing the same thing… we had our last BFN almost two weeks ago and we still feel wounded! We were so positive it had worked. 😩

If it helps give you any ideas, we’ve decided to take a couple of months off, lick our wounds and concentrate on things that make us feel good - going out with friends, regular exercise etc, and very little talk of IVF! 😂

As you say it’s 100% a grieving process, there’s no right or wrong way to navigate it, just be kind to yourself. Cry when you need, shout when you have to… then when you’re ready, pick yourself back up and make the next plan. You’re clearly more resilient than you think as you’ve already tried a hundred ways to get what you want…. What’s a few more? 😉💪🏼

Sending hugs and positive vibes! 🌈 xx

[Jodes-2018 in reply to Hope6108]

Thank you so much ❤️💪🏼

[JOSANDY40]

I remember all those feeling. I felt like the ceilings had got lower, I felt werid, sort of depressed, wired, restless, angry, premenstrual and tired . I couldn't bear being in the house. My pain was pretty bad. I feel for you.

[Jodes-2018 in reply to JOSANDY40]

It’s a relentless cycle isn’t it? X

[JOSANDY40]

🍸❤️

[Annbiel]

Hi There! 2nd stage Endo + Ade here. Was on my 4th transfer now with OTD today... Yesterday and this morning I had a visible line on cheapies... (I've never ever seen a line so was hopeful) only to get my full blown period an hour later! 😆 . Still, I had to go to the clinic and do my blood. Results coming this evening but that would have to be some sort of miracle... You haven't got your period yet so there's always a hope

(I'm treating myself to a mimosa tonight...)

[Jodes-2018 in reply to Annbiel]

Oh I do hope you get those positive results!

I’m putting my lack of period down to the progesterone I have my final test tomorrow morning 😐

Oh lovely enjoy ❤️

[Annbiel in reply to Jodes-2018]

but you never know! I was also on Progesterone ( pessaries 2x a day) and my period came so it could be a good sign for you Thank you and I've got my fingers crossed for you xx

[Jodes-2018 in reply to Annbiel]

I just feel like I’ll never get those two lines 😭 really in my feels today xx

[Amywoz84 in reply to Jodes-2018]

honestly I felt like that, it is a long struggle. For some people it works first or second transfer but I would say that’s quite rare…. Most people I know who have done ivf it’s taken about 5 transfers and more than 1 round.

It is so hard but you have to try to think positive. It will work! You are still young. When you have the follow up with your consultant you need to voice all of your concerns about the endo and any other options of medication (perhaps prepare a list of questions) and find out if there’s any other tests you may need etc and they will advise you on the next steps. Have you had all the blood tests done? (eg for thyroid etc)

In my 4 rounds, they tried lots of different things. It was actually my 4th round that was the best in terms of eggs, fertilisation and embryos. My 4th fresh transfer failed and it was my 5th transfer (FET) that worked from the round 4 embryos.

I also took Zita west supplements for the last 3-4 months not sure if that helped.

Take care of yourself

[Jodes-2018 in reply to Amywoz84]

I will do. I didn’t think I could continue with another round but I will see what options I have when I get my review

It is such a gruelling process isn’t it? I’m not sure of NHS funding either but I suppose I will discuss this xx