Good evening all, hope you’re doing okay. I think it’s important to talk about the fact that ivf is not always a cure but is often talked about it in this way and can lead to unmanaged expectations. I for one thought it would work within the first 2 times because we are using donor sperm and I have pcos and low ovarian reserve with regularly periods and responded well to stims. I assumed it would work and first time. I have learnt the hard way. I’m beginning to realise it’s often persistence and sheer luck! What are your thoughts?
I was wondering if anyone would be happy to share how many embryo transfers they did until they got their BFP resulting in a life birth, along with your age and fertility medical history/ context
Thanks to anyone that shares x
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Bconker
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Hi, you are so right! I went into ivf quite naively. We are very lucky to have our son. It was 1 egg collection but third transfer. First bfn and second early miscarriage. I was 30 when started ivf, all of tests came back fine 'text book case' I kept on being told. Husbands sperm count slightly low and low morphology. X
hi Rain415, thank you for sharing. We had early miscarriage with first transfer and then second transfer bfn. Have a frozen embryo but planning to do fresh cycle to hopefully gain more embryos. Sorry to pry but did you ever worry it might not work? If so, how did you cope with that anxiety and how did you keep the faith? We are determined to keep trying but it does cause anxiety at times over the uncertainty if that makes sense
After the miscarriage I was sure it wouldn't work because we had used our 'best quality embryos' our 'lesser' quality is our son. I wasn't great to be around throughout some of it. I was getting quite negative but was my way of protecting myself. What helped me was always having a plan moving forward. Even if that plan was taking a small break then figuring it out. Sounds like you have a clear plan! Really hope you're works for you x
Forgot to add with our successful transfer I did months of acupuncture don't know if this helped with the positive outcome but it helped my mindset.
Hi Bconker. We got our BFP on second transfer, which was first embryo of our second round. We lost 2 PGTA normal embryos from the first round - 1 transferred but BFN, one did not survive the thaw.
I am 36, we are doing IVF for severe MFI so no issues with me as far as I know. We have been doing PGTA so have only transferred euploid embryos.
In 2015 I was 35 - had ICSI, first egg collection, first fresh transfer was BFP and my son is 6. Very lucky!! We used donor sperm with my eggs. I got 8 eggs, 6 fertilised, only 2 suitable for transfer.
I did a FET with the second embryo from that egg collection and it was also BFP but I had to terminate the pregnancy at 17 weeks due to severe chromosome issues.
Roll forward a few years and I’m on my second round of ICSI. 8 eggs, 8 fertilised - waiting to see how many embryos are viable (hoping one or two). My body seems good at implanting 🤞🤞🤞 but my now 42 y/o eggs are a concern and I’m worried about another chromosome issue. This is my last cycle, I’ve decided against PGT-A due to likely low embryo numbers ❤️
you are so right ! My first FET I thought all I needed was a BFP.. how wrong I was. That turned out to be a chemical. The disappointment was earth shattering for me. Three failed FETs later and still no pregnancy. 🥹🥹
Absolutely agree that the perception needs to change. For us it was male factor, but possibly egg quality too based on how our actual results went following epu. Also when ttc no2 my lining struggled to thicken. Started at 32/31 yo.
Did 4 epu and 6 transfers (4 single and 2 double) to get live birth, had a miscarriage on the fifth transfer.
ttc no 2 (36/35 yo) did another 3epu and 5 transfers, chemicals only. And now no more.
Did all the surgeries, hycosy, flush, acupuncture and so on and on. Ivf sucks
We had unexplained fertility were you, active etc and told ivf gives you a 35% chance of success. It doesn't guarantee a baby. It gives you a chance. I also learnt that seeing the double lines on the pregnancy test doesn't always lead to a baby....but it does work sometimes and you just have to trust the doctors. They want it to work for you too as well! Good luck
you are spot on and I think it’s really important to set those expectations and even though some people do have it work first time it’s absolutely not the case for lots of ladies! We have 6 IUI then 3 transfers (4embryos) before we had our little boy. Eggs were collected at age 36 gave birth age 39.
Trying for a sibling and we’ve had 4 transfers (5 embryos, 2 of which were from the age 36 collection) and still not even a whiff of a positive at age 40.
We’ve tried fresh, frozen, natural, medicated upped progesterone added clexane etc. honestly I definitely think it does come down to sheer luck.. although there are things you or your clinic can do to increase those odds the element of ‘chance’ is the bit that can break our hearts and make us think ‘why them and not me’ ‘what did I do wrong’ ‘what more can I do/change’ when the answer is, as you say, perseverance and a little bit of magic luck ✨ xx
36 currently. 3 egg collections and 4 transfers but no baby. 1st one we got bfp but was a blighted ovum. X
I was super naive with ivf. We have mfi but able to retrieve sperm via surgery and I honestly believed that was the hard part and that all that was needed. 4 cycles later and still no baby (first 2 (age 36) nothing got to day 5, round 3 (age 37) and we transferred one very poor quality embryo that didn’t take, round 4 (age 38) resulted in MC at 7 weeks). I’ve 2 more to transfer from round 4 (will be 38 still), lesser egg quality and having them both put in at same time. That transfer will be the last - mostly as I can only go through this one more time - it’s physically, mentally and financially exhausting.
My positive thoughts are fading and the realisation that this just isn’t going to happen for us is taking over (I hope I feel more positive at transfer time).
So naive when we started our journey. I have stage 4 endo and low ovarian reserve and on my fertility journey had 2 surgeries to help try to clear some of it. I also did 2 rounds of IUI, 6 egg retrievals, 6 FET’s, had 1 miscarriage, had a completely failed cycle not yielding any embryos and finally after switching clinics for the 3rd time we finally had our best cycle with 4 genetically normal embryos & got pregnant with our first transfer there. We were shocked! Our first daughter is now 4 years old & everyday I still feel amazed that I was able to have her! She is a true miracle & I am thankful for her everyday. We really wanted to give her a sibling & had a failed FET in Jan. 2020 & some how I pushed through and decided to try again (before all this covid mess) and we found out we were expecting again. She is now 2 years old. (Another true blessing) We started our journey when I was 31 years old and had our first daughter at age 36, second at 38 and I am currently pregnant with our last embryo at age 40, I will deliver at age 41. I am here to tell you that miracles do happen & YOU CAN have children. Try to stay positive & optimistic! I know how hard the journey is but I believe if you stay the course & don’t give up you too can have your miracle.
thank you for your beautiful and truly inspirational message. So pleased you got your miracles finally ❤️. Some days it’s hard to keep the faith but stories like this give hope
It is correct. It is a treatment, not a cure. It offers hope, when otherwise maybe there would not be any. But it is also the responsibility of the doctor to explain that hope is not certainty and they often lack this explaining. I have PCOS with total lack of periods, and complete annovulation. I have the 3 Rotterdam's criteria to the extreme. I was diagnosed at 14, when my periods just stopped. So I asked my first fertility clinic if it could be useful to first see why I was not menstruating at all naturally (when I was diagnosed with PCOS they just gave me a "patch" to cover it and diminish the symptoms but things never got fixed. If i left hormons, I did not have periods... and so I never ovulated, androgens were very high, and in the last 5 years my weight was out of control). They said no, that I was born that way, and even called me very lucky to not have periods (as when I used to have them, I had a lot of pain... even with the hormons and the artificial cycles, I was in lots of pain), and that a real cycle with no medicines, was not needed to start fertility treatments (and I get it, but like, maybe it is an important aspect just to know what is going on in there?). I asked over how I metabolized sugars and if I could get a test for it and they said my glucose was very good so no diabetes (I was worried I had problems with carbohydrate metabolism, but they did not check except for glucose). I had 2 medicated cycles and 6 IUI (because I was young, so they believed that would be enough... honestly, that was even worse for me than IVF. The control you go thru with PCOS and IUI with stims, is crazy because you can overstimulate very easily). All was negative. Then I went thru IVF and I got OHSS (it was a very painful egg collection. I had 30 follicles, and they gave me only a paracetamol 8 hours before the procedure and something to make me less anxious that did not work too well... the local anesthesia was not good. They told me that in cases like mine, with many follicles, they usually sleep you but there were no anesthesiologists available as everyone was busy with covid). Then I had 2 failed FET (3 day embryos). I was already 3 years into it and was very depressed. Someone recommended me to go to an endocrynologist (she was diagnosed with PCOS but actually she had an Adrenal problem that imitates PCOS and treatment is very different). The doctor checked me and found out that my insulin was in the sky. So I was not diabetic (perfect glucose), but very insulin resistant (weightloss did not improve it, exercise did not improve it enough neither so that was why I used to be a thin sportive teenager, and with no periods since 14... and no doctor cared to check that in 20 freaking years. In my case, PCOS runs in both my families. In one, there is "Lean PCOS", in the other "PCOS" not lean). High insulin can cause problems with egg quality and also implantation issues. He gave me metformin, and in my case, after 3 months, I started menstruating regularly, androgens dropped, LH/FSH ratio was normal now, and I started ovulating on my own. I had regular periods of 28 to 31 days every month with proven ovulation. I tried to get pregnant on my own for some months (like 8 months)... still it did not work. I changed clinics, they grew my embryos to day 5 instead of day 3 (they could not understand why the other clinic stopped growing them at 3 days, as I had 12 embryos, so instead of making me lose time transfering 3 day embryos for one year when I had so many, they decided to grow them to day 5 and increase the chance of working. They told me that unfreezing and then freezing again might have as consequence that less would survive... so I ended up with 3) and they told me they would try natural FET (because now I had a cycle! Before it was artificial FET), they told me that in some women it worked better and seeing as artificial FET was not working for me (I had thin endometrium when I tried both times), this could be it. So I had 3 extra FET, I was on metformin and myoinositol with follic acid and D vitamin (first clinic did not even noticed that my d vitamin was too low which is detrimental to implantation). And the 3rd natural FET of 5 day embryo, it worked. I am still pregnant, hopefully all goes well. This is my first positive test after 5 years of trying. But in my case, it would not be possible without IVF and metformin.
So my stats:
PCOS with complete annovultion and lack of periods
Insuline resistance and very low D vitamine
Male factor
2 medicated cycles (BFN)
6 IUI (BFN)
8 months trying by myself while hormons were (finally!) ok (using metformin and myoinositol) (BFN)
Hi there, I got my BFP that led to a live birth on my second transfer. (First fresh transfer was positive but ended with a blighted ovum, miscarriage at 9 weeks, but I knew it was non viable at the early scan). I have had three rounds of ivf, and this successful transfer was a fresh transfer from the 3rd round. I only got low egg numbers (low amh) 3 per egg collection. Remember it does only take one!
I remember after the last egg collection and the embryologist was in the room speaking to me and my husband, when the doctor came in and said I’m really sorry we only got 4 eggs. Both me and my husband said it only takes one, living proof! I think the doctor was genuinely gutted that she hadn’t managed to collect more eggs, as I had lots of follicles but they were empty of eggs. 3 eggs out of the 4 were mature but they all survived to blastocyst. They doctor came across in a negative manner (no people skills) but you just need to stay positive I can’t stress this enough! Manifest, believe it will happen. I also had acupuncture and that helped me to relax! X
Exactly, at the end it is lots of luck and unseen factors. I had 30 eggs, and 3 blastocysts, just like you. One number doesn't necessarily defines the other.
Definitely, it’s hard not to read into the numbers. But it’s quality over quantity that’s needed. I did take supplements for 3-4 months before that successful last round and I was definitely positive about the outcome after listening to the secret on audible. If you believe in the secret there’s no such thing as luck, hard to get your hard around that!
In my case, I took suppplements for 2 years. Then the specialist asked what I was taking and I told her and she said "you should just take myoinositol, folic acid and d vitamin. Drop the others, they are good when you aren't trying to get pregnant but normally pharmacies sell them in such high quantities, that is detrimental for implantation and ovulation. They can hurt an embryo and your chances". So I just took in the last 4 months the ones I had to take per her orders and it was better.
Severe male factor infertility was our reason for IVF, we’ve had 3 egg collection cycles between ages 31 and 35 from which we got transfers that went like this:
We were told no chances of getting a baby even with IVF. To everyones surprise, it worked 1 st time but when we tried for a sibling, from the same batch, it took 4 times... It's a lottery.
you’re so right that it’s important to look at the long term picture with fertility treatment, but it’s also so hard to see the bigger picture in the moment. We were lucky enough to have our son from our 3rd transfer when I was 38. We had several transfers after having him to try for a sibling and have transferred 9 embryos in total with 2 more bfps that we lost. I am currently pregnant without treatment for the first time in my life at 41, but it’s early days and we’re trying not to get ahead of ourselves.
I think they say around 1 in 3 embryos transferred will result in a live birth but obviously that will vary a lot. It certainly wasn’t the case for us!
Our issue is PCOS too. Wishing you so much luck, I found our 2nd failed transfer so disheartening but my dr said that most women who are there due to pcos will go on to have a baby xx
Started TTC age 33. Natural miscarriage. Moved on to IVF just over a year after. Low AMH.
3 fresh IVF treatments at Clinic 1. Pregancy on third transfer but interrupted the pregnancy after learning my baby would not survive due to chromosomal issues. Age 36 at that time.
Started embryo batching age 36 at new clinic. One euploid embryo gained from 3 further fresh cycles. Not yet transferred this embryo. Other tested embryos (of which there were not many) tested abnormal. No live birth as yet, now age 37.
Ttc for 5.5 years. Age 40. Been doing IVF for 2.5 years. 15 transfers, 6 egg collections, 3 chemical pregnancies and 1 miscarriage at 9 weeks... still no baby. Been diagnosed with immune dysfunction. Will do one last transfer in January on a full immune protocol before moving onto surrogacy... it's an arduous journey 😿
It was already suspected as I have positive ANA and crp (c reactive protein) came back on the high side (indicative of inflammation) however when I recently miscarried and results of the products of conception was a chromosomally normal little girl... my RI said there's no doubt in his mind that my immune system is to blame for my longterm infertility...
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