Sensitive Content - just constant worrying

[Fairsy2021]

So, I’ve had a natural fet (which was actually an anovulatory cycle! ) on CD25 and I’m now 7dp5dt - with ‘those’ lines since 4dp5dt 💗 .

Now I am struggling with my mind; as although this is amazing 🥲- we lost our last embie back on Mother’s Day last year, and now I’m convinced we will go through the same thing. I keep waking up drenched in sweat and have a low grade headache all the time; which I am also convinced means hormones are dropping and will probably loose them . Anyone else going through the same worries? We are so hopeful we get to give our last little successful embie a sibling after trying for 10years again xx

I feel so neurotic and my partner isn’t keen on telling anyone yet, as it’s all so early, so I just feel quite alone with my ruminating thoughts and worries!

[MomaJoni]

I don't think there's a single person who has gone or is going through fertility treatment that doesn't go through the self-torture stage where you are convinced something has gone wrong.

Those lines look absolutely amazing!! You are pregnant!! Focus on that, and take care of your mind because the worry doesn't go away, but you will live with regret if you don't let yourself accept the sheer joy of what you have accomplished. You've done amazing, let that little strong embie do it's thing now

[Fairsy2021 in reply to MomaJoni]

thanks moma - I totally cried reading your message. You hit the nail on the head - it’s this self torture that is so hard to face. I feel like that voice is so much louder than all the others, and I feel I will jinx everything if I dare to hope. You’re right though, I am pregnant - and I’m lucky to be so, for as long or as little as it lasts. Thank you very much for your kind words xx

[MomaJoni in reply to Fairsy2021]

It is one of the things I regretted after I lost my baby last year. I had him inside me for 22 weeks and I just wished I had enjoyed those weeks more instead of being consumed with worry 24/7. Reading into everything and just expecting the worst. Those little babies are stronger than us, they're growing at a rate we cannot compete with, lets not underestimate them I am now 17 weeks pregnant, I still worry the same but I equally am overjoyed and filled with love for the little kicker inside me. I talk to her every day and I involve her in my family because she exists, and so does your baby

[Fairsy2021 in reply to MomaJoni]

ah moma. I’m so terribly sorry for your loss. It’s something that changes you forever and certainly takes away any innocence to pregnancy, going through something so painful.

It’s strange isn’t it, I journaled about how it given the choice, I would of loved and lost again and again, as I felt so lucky to be a mom again, if only for a short while. I will really try to do as you say, and live in the moments. I have had good bloods over last few days 11dp5dt -504.3 and 13dp5dt 1391.8… so I’m going to sit with all the goodness and good news, and try not to worry away, this precious time. I wish you and your little kicker - the best of luck going forwards and you enjoy falling in all that love 💕. You’ve helped me make a decision though actually, when you mentioned your family, we’ve not really told anyone as husband is frightened I guess, of a repeat again- but I want to involve them - so I’m going to suggest we share the good news with a close few. Let’s celebrate them xxxx

[JA-fnuk Partner Nurse Fertility Network UK]

Looks good as previous posts Keep taking meds as directed- eat & drink well and take care of yourself and your OH

Thinking of you

Janet

[Fairsy2021 in reply to JA-fnuk]

Janet, thank you. I will do, drinking lots of water and meds going well. Just need to remember to look after the OH - as actually, I always forget that part when doing all this. Self absorbed 🤦🏼‍♀️ no - really it’s just hard to look up sometimes- so thanks for reminding me to xx

[Jokiekin11]

Hi just wanted to say those tests look great! Like others have said, it is easy to worry, but if you allow it to creep in you will worry about one thing after another. I’m not saying this will help you but want I found that helped me have more positive thoughts was reading the secret and meditation.

Wishing you all the best x

[Fairsy2021 in reply to Jokiekin11]

that’s exactly what I do. Worry about my headache, worry when it’s gone, worry about symptoms, worry about no symptoms. Worrying is just so insidious- I wish we could have a blinking tablet for that to stop! We seem to have something for everything else 😂

I do try and do my meditation too - I’ve been pretty slack these last few days, will pick that back up. Thank you Jokiekin. Thanks for taking the time to send good thoughts xx

[Miracle43]

Hi Fairy,

Congratulations on your positive.

I hope you are ok.

Would you mind me asking how many days after the trigger did you have transfer?

X

[Fairsy2021 in reply to Miracle43]

hi Miracle43.

Thanks for the congrats. Still pregnant currently just wishing time away to scans etc.

interestingly, I never triggered! I had no dominant follicles at any of my tracking scans. Right up till the end, I thought cycle was over!

Transfer was done on cycle day 25. I started progesterone on cd 20 and then on cd 25, they transferred my 6day blast (4BC).

[Miracle43]

Hope you are feeling ok ☺️

I didn’t trigger either last time .. this time I’m doing a modified natural where they track the lining and follicle them trigger when the follicle is the right size.

I’ve just been for my scan. I’m ready to ovulate .. also had a positive opk this morning so I won’t need the trigger however my lining hasn’t thickened since Tues 😔.

I’m now on estrogen and re scan Monday. I I need to increase my lining. Any ideas? X