First round due over the Christmas holidays -tips please!

[Minniemouse88]

Hi everyone,

Just looking for a few tips about what to say to family and friends when trying to stay away over Christmas.

If all goes to plan, we will most likely be having egg collection, sperm retrieval and transfer right over Christmas to New Year! For Covid reasons, I'm keen to stay away from social gatherings so really interested in how people make their excuses without disclosing IVF. General Christmas survival tips most welcome too!

Also, a bit in jest, but also very important...anyone know any good brands of alcohol-free mince pies? I'm determined not to go without!🙂

Thank you and hope you are all keeping as well as can be xx

[Tap22]

A tricky one if you don't want them to know about IVF at all, but if like us they know about treatment but you want to keep dates vague

, I used to say that I was cutting out alcohol in preparation and in a nice way I'd rather not talk details as I wanted to keep as stress free as I could. People really respected that and I suspect some were relieved 😂. You could maybe also say that you have some tests over Christmas and want to reduce risk of cancellation if you catch covid. I'm not sure how you'd navigate things otherwise without feigning illness 😉 in our first round we tried to keep it completely to ourselves but I found it more stressful since we've told only our nearest and dearest which has helped massively but of course it's what's right for you. Good luck xx

ps much to my husband's disbelief I don't like mince pies so I'm totally useless there!

[Minniemouse88 in reply to Tap22]

Thanks, good ideas, I was thinking of offering vague appointment excuses. I have a very loving but also anxious and prying mother I'm afraid. Whilst she knows about us having IVF, if she gets a whiff of dates, I know I'll have endless nagging for updates. Hoping the dates work out in favour of avoiding a few days over Christmas to appease her 🙄 Thank you

[Skittles11]

Maybe you could say you have a few appointments coming up and you dont want to risk catching covid for them. Hopefully nonody will pry as to the nature of the appointments, if they did you have every right to say its personal and you'd rather not discuss details

[Minniemouse88 in reply to Skittles11]

Thank you, you're right. I'm usually singing in choirs and all sorts over Christmas, so I'll have to work on a consistent story to explain my absence. Thank you

[Tap22 in reply to Minniemouse88]

Most importantly do what's right for you, it sounds selfish but don't add any stress trying to please others, something I've learned over our journey so far. Saying no, or it's private in a nice way can be the kindest thing on yourself

[butterfliez]

The extra worry of having to isolate during ivf is so annoying isn't it, I mean we are more than happy to do it for the best outcomes but it is the people around us that causes us stress with having to explain or make excuses up. you could say about certain prep appointments coming up & they need you to do covid tests prior, or actually say one of you have covid around the times , that way people won't expect you to mix with others. (I know it's basically a lying though) I am currently in treatment and trying my best not to see many people, I have had to tell my family and the constant questions for updates and what happens next etc can feel so draining although well meant it just adds pressure having to explain when they do not understand the process. do what's right for you & all the best x

[LaraCRGH]

Sometimes, when is was to not close enough friends to tell, I simply said I had some medical stuff coming up and so I need to shield. They would then say or msg something like "Oh no! I hope you're ok", and I would respond saying Don't worry, I'm absolutely fine - it's elective medical stuff and nothing sinister, but just a pain that I have to keep my head down for a while." If it was to work, I kept using my mum as an excuse, saying I wanted to spend some time with her, so I'm shielding bin advance. Good luck! I really wish we could do IVF without covid hanging over us, because it's one of the most stressful aspects! X

[Alienor]

So usually clinics will not carry over an egg collection over Christmas/New Year. I started IVF last year in December and had egg collection in Jan. I did enjoy Christmas (without booze…just a note here cooking alcohol if it was cooked through is safe as non alcoholic anymore so a stew or mince pie are okay),

I did not self isolate. I had covid in the past and was barely sick so I wasn’t worried to catch it again. I was cautious, using gel…but isolation was a big no. You have no idea how long your IVF journey will be and isolation will have a strong negative impact on your mental health. I did struggle with my mental health during my journey and did some counselling but I did not allow covid to be part of my worries.

My friends & family were aware of my IVF journey so they all have been cautious too and avoiding to see me when they had colds…

By the way I’m 24 weeks pregnant after second FET, healthy and considered low risk.

[Minniemouse88 in reply to Alienor]

Congratulations, hope all is going well

[Emma672]

We were pregnant just before Christmas last year so I trekked around for alcohol free mince pies - and they were pretty hard to find! Ended up getting some in Asda which were ok enough, but check the ingredients as they do more than one type. My husband bought their extra special ones and admittedly mine didn’t look as good, but needs must! Fingers crossed your round goes well x

[ForABabyPanda]

I actually find the whole shielding before treatment thing helpful as you might not feel well to participate in social events even on non appointment days, and saying you need to shield for a vague appt gets you out of about 2 weeks of socialising right there!

[Minniemouse88 in reply to ForABabyPanda]

Thank you. I agree, some me time will most likely be welcome. The medical appointment excuse seems to be working well too x

[Minniemouse88]

Thanks all, your comments are appreciated Everyone's tolerance for risk is so different Personally, I'm on the cautious side. I caught Covid earlier this year and had an awful time with it bedridden for 2 weeks so would hate that again, especially in the lead up to first round. I'm a bit disappointed not to be singing in my choir concerts but will make the best of it and cosy up and have a quiet one.

Hope you all keep well and thanks again!

[HopeNotTooLate46]

After a delay in my September cycle, I was all set for starting in November. I called to check with the clinic that all was OK but then they worked out scans/egg collection would fall on their non-work days over Xmas and New Year. So now have to wait another month to get started. Not a big deal if age and AMH levels were on my side, I'm 46. But maybe a good thing as work stress should be over by Xmas. I'm finding dealing with the delays way more stressful

[ki50]

Not ideal but I had to miss a family wedding due to the transfer falling in the middle of it and not wanting to catch covid so I kindof lied and said I had caught it and had to isolate! Didn't want to jinx things by saying it but I also couldn't come up with any other suitably good explanation as to why!

[Boo718]

honestly … have a mince pie. One isn’t gonna do anything. I said things like ‘I drank far too much last weekend’ so being good This weekend and avoided most nights out by picking up shifts at the weekend xxx