Where is God in infertility?

[DolphinJ]

I know everyone will have different responses to this and I'm not meaning to start a debate. I just want to encourage anyone who is seeking God with the encouragement I feel I've needed myself. As a Christian I've struggled a lot with the questions, 'Why won't God answer my prayers? Why has He given me this desire to have children and not given me children?' 😢 I guess I've been gradually learning to keep trusting Him that He does love me and He will answer my prayers in the way He knows best one day. I've been learning to keep praying because God answers so many little prayers on the way as a reminder He is still there. I've learned so much I wouldn't have learned otherwise and grown as a person (well still pretty immature in many ways but I'm a work in progress 🙃). I do still struggle with things - how to explain our many absences for hospital appointment to people at church? Why did it fail again when my sister-in-law just announced her second pregnancy? How do I balance doing all I can to maximise chances but not getting over stressed and obsessive?

I've found it so helpful reading 'Infertility Encouragement from Sarah's Laughter' which is a daily reading plan on the YouVersion Bible app. I'd really recommend it to anyone who is interested in hearing from God on their journey. It is sensitive and encouraging. Wish I know about it sooner. It is encouraging to be reminded that the Bible is filled with lots of stories about women who cried out for children and God answered them. I know this can sometimes be difficult to read because God won't answer each of us in the same way. But it shows how much God cares about our situation if the Bible is fill of stories about it. We can believe He has something special for each of us who seek him.

Here is an extract from the app

'Hidden Treasures

I have a secret: my husband’s birthday gift has been on our kitchen counter for two weeks, and he doesn’t realize it. The gift is wrapped in a beautiful, decorative box. My husband thinks it's just another piece of decor that only women understand. He stands within inches of his present and reads the mail. He nudges it slightly to make room for his laptop. I have to admit: being a little sneaky and leaving hidden treasures for my beloved makes me smile.

Do you realize that God has hidden treasures all around you today? He understands that infertility can take a toll on your heart, so He gives you an extra measure of love. He may not have placed these treasures in brightly colored boxes on your kitchen countertop, but they are hiding in plain sight.

Where are these riches hidden? Perhaps God used a phone call from a friend: she called to check on you after an important doctor’s appointment, and her thoughtfulness spoke volumes. Remember that sermon that encouraged you? Maybe God placed those words in your pastor’s heart just for you. Perhaps you’ve considered such encounters as mere coincidence. I see them as hidden gifts from God to help us on our infertility journey.

As women who want to get pregnant, we are absolute professionals at looking for signs. Every time we are in the midst of a two-week wait between ovulation day and day 28, we look for signs of pregnancy.

Could that twinge mean anything?

I don’t feel well today. Could that be morning sickness?

And, like a photographer with a high-powered lens scanning the horizon, we miss what's right in front of us. These treasures aren't truly hiding; they're simply out of focus. Why not refocus this watchfulness, and look for treasures that are hiding in plain sight? God is offering you extra encouragement today; do you see it?

God loves you. He’s passionate about you. He wants you to see His love for you. And when you find His gifts of love, I believe He smiles. '

'I will give you hidden treasures, riches stored in secret places, so that you may know that I am the Lord, the God of Israel, who summons you by name.' Isaiah 45:3

Hope you find the reading plan helpful. Will be praying for you all to know God walking with you through this because He cares for you xxx 🙏

[Twoscreens]

I also recommend A pastoral Theology of Childlessness by Emma Nash which explores the darker side of childlessness and how churches can do more to recognise the pain and anguish experienced

[DolphinJ in reply to Twoscreens]

Ah, thank you Twoscreens. I'll look it up, so good to have recommendations from others x

[Lioness-icsi]

Thank you for sharing this - l have had questions too.

[DolphinJ in reply to Lioness-icsi]

Aw, praying for you Lioness. God knows your heart and desire and cares for you even though just now may be tough 🥰

[DolphinJ in reply to DolphinJ]

And if its helpful to chat more, or share more, here is a listening ear xx

[zzko21]

Your post made me tear up….am constantly asking why me…why did he give me a womb if not to bear children…God does answer prayers in His time…

[DolphinJ in reply to zzko21]

Aw, 🥰 it is so difficult. Just read your post that you had a disappointment recently. So sorry to hear that. 😥 Give yourself time to grieve but know that you will start to feel better again and get through it. Praying you will know God's hidden treasures and mercies even in this difficult time and know his arms of comfort around you xx