Why don’t I feel emotions?

[Zeebee14]

I’m currently 5w4d with a DE embryo. Out of 9 donor eggs we only managed to get one good quality embryo as the others were not good enough to freeze. They transferred that one and so far it seems to have stuck.

I have very few symptoms apart from sore boobs, so other than several positive tests I can’t seem to believe this transfer has worked.

The thing is I don’t feel any emotions at all. I think I’m scared something will go wrong, and also I’m a bit sad that if this does work it will be our only baby as we don’t have any other embryos. I’d always hoped for 2 full genetic siblings. Maybe that’s selfish of me as I know so many people here struggle to have just one.

My viability scan is in 2 weeks which will be 7w4d. Until then I feel like I’m in limbo. I want to enjoy being pregnant but my emotions seem to be broken as I’m not feeling them yet.

Has anyone else felt this way? X

[Solly-44]

I think it’s just a self preservation thing. This whole thing takes such a toll that we’re scared to get too attached. We’re hyper aware of what can go wrong. It steals so much from us, even to the point where we feel selfish for wanting more than one child (I have that too but I’m sure my sister or friends who had no trouble conceiving would never think that in a million years).

Have you tried counselling? I had a few sessions and found they really helped. Wishing you a happy healthy xx

[Zeebee14 in reply to Solly-44]

Thanks for the reply Solly, yes I think it is self preservation, isn’t it funny how the human brain works. I do actually have a counselling session booked in for next week, I hope they can sort my brain out. I’ve had a couple of sessions in the past and they do have a way of making you see things differently.

Hope you’re doing ok, I know you’ve been through the works. X

[Star241]

Honestly I have to say that I am just trying to downplay everything, trying not to get too excited and just trying to protect myself, I definitely just don’t think it has sunk in for me at all yet xx

[JenRoy]

Totally understand these feelings. Definitely normal. I’m 18 weeks. Spent OTD to the viability scan so anxious that we’d have another MMC. Then 7-12 weeks was a daily freak out about symptoms coming and going! 🤦‍♀️ 12-16 weeks has been stressful as beginning to hope that things are going ok but worrying something will happen.,Only started to feel a bit better once I’ve started to feel movements each day. It’s so hard. Sadly IVF can suck the joy out of pregnancy 🥲x

[Fer-ivf]

Totally understand, similar situation here, this is my first cycle, from 7 embryos, we only had a good one, transferred 13 days ago, tomorrow I'm talking my pregancy test. I felt very upset and disappointed when they told me the other 6 embryos didn't survive. I sort of lost hope. I don't have strong symptoms either, so I'm not sure what to expect tomorrow. We had a miscarriage last year (natural pregancy) so that's also playing in my mind. I just feel sick with nerves. Good luck with everything. Hope the scan goes well for you.

[Hidden]

100% what Solly said, its self protection, we have all been through so much, there are so many emotions locked away somewhere but our mind is just blocking them at the moment. Its not the same but I am in week one of my prep month for my first DE FET literally day 2 of drugs and I don't even want to do it, I have no excitement, I am miserable every pill I pop and am seriously seriously considering asking my OH for us to not bother and just give up... but the reality is I am pretty sure if we gave up I would be devastated as I have been for the last 8 years through the failed cycles and the miscarriages etc, and actually its just my mind blocking everything to help me keep on keeping on. I am sure its the same for you. Congratulations, the excitement will come I am sure once you get over a few milestones xx

[Zeebee14 in reply to Hidden]

Yeah I think it is our minds blocking it out for self preservation. The thing is I want to feel emotions, I want to cry and let it out, I want to feel happiness, but I feel nothing!

Ahh I’m so pleased you’re in a position to continue after all you’ve been through.

Hope all the prep goes well lovely, my fingers are crossed for you! X