So I’m very happy to share that this round of IVF seems to have stuck 😊 My wife is currently 9 weeks 2 days pregnant!
I have one questions for you ladies that have gone through pregnancies before: Given our history, (4 failed transfers and 2 early miscarriages) my wife is getting a lot of anxiety from the fact that she says she doesn’t feel pregnant or anything at all. By this I don’t mean symptoms. She is having quite a bit of nausea and food aversion etc. I mean like she thinks she’s supposed to somehow feel differently physically and since she doesn’t and since it’s too early to physically show, she is constantly worried and counting down the days to our next scan. We had an early scan at almost 7 weeks and we heard the heartbeat and everything looked good. It’s been almost 3 weeks since and still have one more week until our next scan - so naturally she’s desperate for some reassurance.
Can anyone shed some light on your experiences in this regard? Thank you!
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GBB87
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Firstly congrats to you both on your pregnancy.I can confirm I didn’t “feel pregnant” when it happened. Apart from the odd bit of feeling nauseous I felt nothing different. I read that you both have been through a lot before getting to this stage so it’s only natural to worry and think you should maybe feel different or feel pregnant. The turning point for me feeling pregnant was the bump developing which is a good bit off yet for you.
Well first of all, massive congratulations! Secondly, I’m currently 14 weeks, have seen my baby three times, have had horrendous morning sickness, sore and huge boobs and am rapidly starting to expand - and I still don’t feel pregnant! 😂 I think sometimes when you’ve had so much trouble conceiving, it’s just doesn’t sink in. But you’ve seen your baby, and honestly if she’s really that worried I would consider paying for another private scan to put her mind at ease xxx
Anxiety is absolutely natural after we have been conditioned for so long that “it won’t work.” It’s great you are being so supportive of her - for me, I had scans every two weeks until 13 weeks to reassure myself and it helped.
As for symptoms - every pregnancy is different and they often don’t mean much. For example, I was vomiting three times a day but still had a missed MMC at 8 weeks - so my sickness wasn’t an indication of a healthy pregnancy, which is what all the websites say. If you obsess over symptoms it can make you so much more nervous. Try and distract yourself each day - focus on work, or something that will keep you busy. I also said a “blessing” every day for my embryo and that helped too - talking to your little one, visualising it, can also help x
Try not to worry about not feeling pregnant! I didn’t have any symptoms and I’m pregnant with twins. As for feeling it, I don’t think I really believed it myself until I started to feel kicks and movement!
I agree with the above comment, talking to your baby helped me visualise them and make this pregnancy real for me.
Congratulations! To be honest I would have loved to have felt sick, have food aversions etc....I had nothing, I mean literally nothing and was pregnant with twins!🤯 I wished for any symptom to make me feel like all was ok or that it was real.....but it was and we have 2 healthy baby boys! We also had a hard time prior to this and only had success on our 9th try. Take it one day at a time, it's all any of us can do! Wishing you all the luck in the world!xx
I’m 17+2 I’m suffering with Hyperemesis since 4 weeks and I don’t feel pregnant. I’m now petrified I won’t bond with my baby. I’ve told my midwife who didn’t seem to understand after going through treatment you may need a bit more support, not oh you must be overjoyed no I’m scared and anxious.
Congratulations! It sounds like after all the disappointment she’s just preparing herself for disappointment. I have only suffered one mc and one failed fet but I too was fearing the worst when it came to the 12 week scan. I also had a scan previously at 8 weeks on the mc which was fine so 12 weeks was my pure marker. However, the main change of symptom I had this time was nausea/vomiting in waves until week 11 and food aversion (extreme for the same time) - so she should take comfort that these are major signs the baby is healthy. Other than that it’s an awful anxious wait until the 12 week scan but both me and my partner were scared at this point until we saw it was all fine on the scan. If it helps, there are times when I don’t feel pregnant now and I’m 19.5 weeks with a bump in front of me!
Hi and congratulations!!! I completely understand your concerns. I did not have real symptoms until I was 16 weeks pregnant and even then the symptoms were very mild I thought there was something wrong. Every pregnancy is different and lack of symptoms/too much does not mean bad news. As long as the scans are fine I would try to think more positively about it ( I know easier said than done). I was anxious throughout my pregnancy, every scan and test so I know how hard it can be. Good luck and all the best this year! 😊
Huge congratulations on your pregnancy! I felt very much the same as your wife.. symptom wise and the anxiety, counting down the days until the next scan. I found the anxiety did ease a bit once we had the 12 week scan, however i was then counting the days til the 20 week one as my pregnancy symptoms disappeared and i was feeling more like my normal self. To try and manage this, i did focus on getting through each day at a time and when getting negative thoughts, to switch the focus on the fact that i was pregnant that day and nothing was indicating otherwise.
I'm 25 weeks tomorrow and the anxiety has lessened a lot as i have a bump and a wriggly baby to remind me. Despite that, i do still have times believing that it's real and that my body is actually growing a baby! I'm putting it down to the fact i had started to believe i wouldn't be able to have children, and think there is a part of my mind still trying to protect my heart incase something goes wrong.
Like another poster mentioned, i feel pregnancy after loss and/or fertility treatment does make it a different experience. Do whatever feels right .. whether that's getting extra support or scans to help manage those feelings x
I felt sick and had the worst headaches and dizziness pretty much all the time from around 5/6 weeks. My boobs went huge and I blew up like a balloon to the point at 10 weeks people told me I had got my dates wrong and/or I was having twins - I pretty much stayed the same size between then and 5 months. So I was full blown on physical symptoms from early on (a lot of which could have been the high meds I stayed on) but at no point did I 'feel' pregnant, or really believe it. It was more that I felt unwell and like I was managing a medical condition, or dealing with side effects of the meds. I've recently started to feel movements - not a lot as my placenta is at the front so they're sort of muffled and occasional - but that has made it a bit more real. I still don't want anyone to get me baby stuff though and I'm driving my OH crackers refusing to 'plan'. I think there's a bit of self-protection after years of disappointments, and especially after losses, plus anxiety, but maybe also an expectation that when you finally get the thing you've craved it should be transformative and lovely, and something extra will happen. Maybe that is the case for some women and I would love that, but not for me so far. I hope I don't sound ungrateful or insensitive as I know so many women crave the pregnancy in particular, but the thing I'm after is the baby, not the pregnancy exactly, so I am hoping that *if* I can get my baby (not yet accepting that will happen), my grumpy and armour-like hormones will finally give up and change, and I will feel like a Mum x
Congratulations 🥳 I felt the exact same, in the beginning I needed to go for scans every few weeks to calm the nerves as other than the nausea and bloating you don’t feel anything else really until 20-24 weeks (went for private ones about £50-£60 each time) and that helped calm my nerves between nhs ones. I think it’s just the journey we’ve been on makes it an even more anxious time. Even once I could feel baby moving I panicked if I couldn’t feel him for an hour or so and had to go lie down for a bit to check and settle my nerves. It did ease as the weeks went on but I wouldn’t even buy a cot until 3rd trimester as I was so nervous. I would defo recommend the private scans worth every penny I also think it helped my wife feel part of the journey more as she was only allowed at 8, 12 and 20 week scans on nhs xx
Hello! Congratulations to you both. That’s beautiful news, especially after those losses. I know exactly how she feels. I’ve had 3 losses before and it was difficult for me to believe that I was actually pregnant. I did not have any symptom. I did not feel pregnant at all. I was worried that I was not getting the symptoms that everyone around was feeling. I was anxious all the time and used to check the miscarriage rate every single day. I was lucky that my doctor let me visit every week to see the baby and I barely made it through the week. It is very normal for her to be this anxious until she starts feeling the kicks. I believe she will be better once she reaches the second trimester. I am now 26 weeks pregnant and I am feeling much better now that I feel the kicks. Just support her in those weeks leading to 12 weeks and assure her that she will be fine and she will eventually feel better. Wishing you all the best & Happy 9 months!
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*slighty sensitive* OTD and I’m pregnant 
Sensitive * when will I feel excited !?
Sensitive post - it doesn’t feel real! 
Feeling hopeful and then a ‘not pregnant’ appearing ☹️
***Sensitive*** 44 years of age and 14 weeks pregnant with a miracle baby ☺️🌈💫
