Starting my journey this month…

[BookMaker83]

Hi all, I’ve been trying for 4yrs with no luck and to top it off COVId kicked in just as we started to realise there was an issue. Now that we’ve managed to secure appointments and get some tests we’ve been told that we have multiple problems on both sides. Originally the test come back that my partner just had some slow and some immobile spam so naïvely I really thought that maybe I would have a few procedures to are the boost my hormones or have IUI. But now I now have had confirmation that it could be issued on my side as well, weight been one of them (13st and only 5.4ft) and previously having polycystic ovaries even though I don’t currently have this issue, plus a few extras…

I didn’t realise actually how much stress you start to take on board once you know that you will need assistance to try and conceive.

All my family and friends have now had kids and they’re getting older, I am getting older (38), and frankly it’s a very lonely place to be. I know my partner will be there and is there every step with me but he does allow me to take the lead and it ends up being me that makes or pushes for the appointments, which in its self is again a lonely place. Please don’t get me wrong he totally want kids and we have had this conversation many times it’s just that he is a man child and doesn’t quite take on board himself with the fact that we are getting older and things get harder he just doesn’t seem to quite conceived the idea of conceiving when you’re older is difficult.

I think for him he’s a little scared so for him to not really acknowledge things is easier. But not for me.

Anyway I’ve started losing weight this week I’ve managed to get my blood tests done, is my GP miss off a lot of important tests, my partner needs to now go and get his secondary sperm test as the hospital did not give us count last time he did a test, and I have a few scans coming up to check the health of my womb and that there is no blockages in my tubes.

Anyway if you’ve got this far thank you so much for letting me rant. This place it’s a little place where I can unload where other people can understand where I’m coming from.

I know that some of you were going through far worse so apologies if this comes across insensitive but I just needed a place where others could understand.

Big hugs and love to all of you in your journey and I hope every success for each and everyone of you!!

Kx

[DianeArnold Partner Nurse Fertility Network UK]

Hi BookMaker. Thank you for wishing everyone well with their treatment. However, this is your journey and I wish you every success. Diane

[Kitca]

We are all hear for you and each other, its overwhelming at the start and i would like to say it gets easier but its just alot !! My hubster is pretty much the same and 2 attempts down with transfer and is only just starting to show his passion and annoyance at other people, think they just take time to catch up when its not them with all the invasive stuff but if you can find ways to still laugh together. We make jokes about a long cycle being called a pb , we call his vitamins his slaggers and generally just try to carry on living through it all. All the very best luck and this forum is a guiding light i think when everything else feels dark there are people here who just get it. Xxxx

[BookMaker83 in reply to Kitca]

Thank you so much! It so nice to know their are kind hearted people out there who are willing to listen and share their journey and support others along the way. Your reply made my day! Not so lonely now xxx