My partner and I have experienced recurrent miscarriages followed by a long period of being unable to conceive.
I'm only 33 but have recently been diagnosed with Diminished Ovarian Reserve with FSH of over 20, Antral Follicle Count (AFC) showing 4 follicles across both ovaries and AMH of 0.4. I'm heart-broken, of course, but trying to look forward and think carefully about our options.
Given the stats above, I was quite surprised that the fertility consultant said we could try IVF with my eggs, although our chances of success would be 5% or lower. I had read that other Care Commissioning Groups won't allow you to use your own eggs if your FSH is over 12, so I assumed we would be told that donor eggs were our only option.
In a sense it's now or never: if we don't try IVF with my eggs now when I'm still relatively young, it won't make sense to try it later when I'm older. But is it worth my going through IVF with the maximum dose of drugs for such a low chance of success? I know it's no walk in the park physically, plus the emotional impact of a round that is 95% likely to fail...
Where we live, the NHS will fund one round of IVF. We are fortunate in that we would be able to find a way to fund further rounds, although at about 10k for a round with donor eggs obviously it wouldn't be ideal.
We also have the option to just go for donor egg IVF straight away, using the NHS funding for our first round. The consultant has said our chances of success with donor eggs are the same as those for women with 'normal' hormone levels, so 35-40%. There is a 3-6 month wait, so not too bad.
My first question, then, is what would you do in our situation? Give IVF with my eggs a go with a <5% chance of success, or go for donor egg IVF?
My second question is for anyone who has experience of DOR. Is there anything that you wish you had known when you were first diagnosed?
Thanks for taking the time to read this. I'd be really grateful for any replies
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JustJane1234
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I’d always exhaust every possibility with my own eggs first - you’ll always wonder what if otherwise. There are clinics that specialise in women with very very low AMH that doesn’t actually involve massive doses of drugs - have a look at natural IVF or natural modified and embryo banking x
Hi JustJane1234😊Your story sounds very similar to mine. Endo and a bad operation in my early 20s cause me to have premature ovarian failure. My FSH when I was 28 was over 30 and my AMH was 0.4. By some miracle, were we given 3 rounds of IVF but it was not easy and they only agreed because of my age. I don't want you to lose hope but for me personally, it was a waste of time. I tried twice with my own eggs, the first round I got 0 mature eggs and the second round I got 1 mature egg. I was on special protocols and had one of the best consultants in the hospital managing my case but still nothing. I used a donor for the third attempt but in my opinion and from what I know now, the chances were still slim. The quality of the embryos were not great and I don't think I was really given enough progesterone (that's my thinking, I don't really have proof).
I decided to try again (on my own now as my marriage ended). I went straight for a donor egg and I was lucky enough to receive a good quality embryo and they increased my progesterone. I had a positive pregnancy test for the first time ever and I really feel its because I was given a better chance this time than before.
Choosing to use a donor is not easy and I had to have a lot of therapy to understand what it will mean for me and the child but I honestly don't regret it and I think most of the women here would say the same. It is your decision to make but if you are only getting one chance, really try and go for the option that will give you the most hopeful outcome.
But that's my story. Many women have different stories and outcomes but that's what has worked for me.
Have a look into DHEA if you are thinking of trying with your own eggs. There is a book ‘It starts with the egg’. It’s not for everyone but you might want to explore some aspects. Any changes or supplements need to be done for 12 weeks before IVF ideally. Lots of threads on here as well if you search.
If you decide to use your own eggs first you could try some supplements -CoQ10 can help increase egg quality - Vitamin C & E are useful as well Thinking of you & wishes you well with whatever treatment you decide on
Thanks so much for the advice. I take lots of vitamins already but have ordered some CoQ10 too now 🌻
Its such a hard position to be in, and I can't really make a decision for you, but I just wanted to say that although it might be simpler for you it actually took me probably a year or so to almost grieve not using my own eggs and getting my head around using donor ones. Its a big old thing to get your head round. But also I would ask the question 'will I regret not trying my own eggs just once' because one of the main things IVF has taught me is you can't 'what if' or do/not do things you will always be questioning 'what might have happened if...'
Thanks so much for your reply. I keep changing my mind several times a day so yes, I think you're right and it will take some time to really get my head around the situation ❤️
Hi, I'm so sorry you are facing this choice, it's so unfair. Your story reminded me of the blog from Anna Rapp, To Make A Mommy. She was diagnosed with low AMH, high FSH, endo and recurrent miscarriages among other things and she did a fairly radical lifestyle overhaul and became pregnant naturally twice. It's a lot of information but worth a read to give you some ideas and maybe hope that it can work for you whichever way you choose.
Hi Jane,I had my first round with a clinic here in the north east, it was unsuccessful and we were told we had a less than 5% chance of success if we tried again as my eggs were really poor quality, and should look at donor eggs.
I wasn’t quite ready to give up on my own so we have just been to Cyprus where I did a tandem cycle, we ended up with 2 embryos of our own to transfer and have 3 frozen donor embryos. Our transfer didn’t work so we’re going back next month to transfer the donor embryos.
I paid way less than I did in the uk for the tandem, even including travel, and they have really good clinics in north Cyprus. There are also no waiting lists.
It’s been so difficult because at the end of the day we all want that baby of our own, it’s so hard to give up on that. I really struggled, still am tbh, but I’m 42 so had to just go for it, no time!
So yeah just to let you know to have a look at the tandem cycle.. egg donation is completely anonymous in Cyprus so you only get very basic information about the donor, so that’s something to bear in mind.
Thanks so much. I hadn't heard of tandem cycles so that's really interesting. Will definitely look into it. Wishing you all the best with the donor embryo transfer ❤️
I had an AMH of 1 and was told from the outset by ivf nurses and my consultant that it was likely I would have to consider donor eggs in the future. They were very doom and gloom, and to be honest made me wonder why I was being given a free round! Lifestyle changes, DHEA and god knows how many supplements later… we were four months on and conceived naturally the month prior to the commencement of ivf. We were given a 20% chance of ivf working, and I’d already convinced myself it never would happen, and I’d even been thinking about whether we’d go abroad for donor in the future after what I expected to be a failed nhs round.
I know we have been very lucky, but my point is that I just don’t think they can put definitive percentage stats on it - especially if you’re young and have good quality eggs left! Some people have AMHs of 7 and get 2 eggs, others have much lower and get 5 or 6 eggs. I hadn’t even considered that we’d do donor for our free nhs round. It would definitely be to try with my own first and then go to donor (if the first egg collection was disastrous).
You will make the right decision for you - good luck and I hope you have success 💕 xx
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