How do you deal with the sadness?

[Littlepip1]

I’m 37 and we’ve just done a fresh round (our second - first we only got to morala stage) with icsi and I started spotting at 9dpt. Brown at first - I was stupidly excited thinking this was the magical implantation bleed. However, it continued and by day 12 I was having pretty bad cramps and brighter blood. Still not full flow, but we did the test at day 12 and it was BFN. Our blasto was graded at the top of their scale and I’m gutted. The sadness seems unbearable. We have another one in the freezer so we will most likely go again after the usual break but I’m just losing hope. I know it can take a few rounds, but I have so many friends who have gone through this once and are pregnant and I worry it’s not going to happen for us. I guess that’s the sadness - it might not. That’s the horrible thing about this - there’s absolutely no certainties 😞

[Hoping20]

Hi Littlepip, I am very sorry this transfer did not result in your long awaited BFP. I know how devastating it is. Like you say, the sadness is very hard to deal with. It’s a natural emotion though considering all that you have been through so far. Some days can be bad and others a little better. Give yourself time to grieve and when you feel ready you still have hope with your remaining frozen embryo. I find having hope helps...as soon as we start to lose hope is when our feelings go into a downward spiral. Please don’t lose hope and be extra kind to yourself. Thinking of you x

[Littlepip1 in reply to Hoping20]

Thanks so much. I’ve not lost it - just grieving the loss of this one.

[Rain415]

Hi little pip, I'm sorry to hear this a negative is awful and I had spotting before OTD and is messes with your emotions. However, my first two transfers with highest quality were not successful but my 'lesser'. There is hope and I'm wishing you all the best with your frozen transfer! X

[Littlepip1 in reply to Rain415]

Thank you rain. Here’s hoping the future brings us success.

[Littlepeax]

Please hang on to the hope. As long as you have hope it's still possible! And of course it can happen ❤ everyone feels this way its very normal. Keep going you've got this 🥰🤗

[Littlepip1 in reply to Littlepeax]

Thanks xx

[Nenad]

Hi there, I’ve gone through a very similar thing two weeks ago. Started spotting 7 days post transfer and got excited, but quickly realised that it was my period when it turned into a full flow days later. It was my first transfer as well, but it’s good to know what can be learned from this experience. In my case it was low progesterone so I’ve made sure to request more supplementation and testing for my frozen transfer. May be the same in your case or your doctor can suggest otherwise? Don’t lose hope xx

[Littlepip1 in reply to Nenad]

Yes I thought this so will mention it at our review. I’d actually forgotten it happened on our first round as well so we didn’t mention it. It was my husband who reminded me. Then I found a post on here when I’d asked. Almost to the day the bleeding started on this second round as well.

[HollyLI]

Don’t think about it and keep going..round 10 was the win for me (in my 40s and low AMH) .. but if you do further retrievals be sure to do pgt testing to be sure it is a good embryo .. also my second doctor had me take COQ10 and DHEA I believe made the difference with my embryo quality ..after 9 rounds and only the last 6 months on those vitamins I got my one good embryo and after ERA test, that frozen round worked !!! Just keep going

[Littlepip1 in reply to HollyLI]

I’ve been taking 600mg of COQ10 a day. What is DHEA?

[HollyLI in reply to Littlepip1]

To be honest my doctor told me to take it for my low ovarian reserve with the COQ10, and I just did what he said.

[Kitkat10]

I’m sorry you are going through this and I know how brutal IVF is but you are getting to transfer stage each time and producing good embryos if they are freezing them. I had the same brown spotting on my unsuccessful cycles and when they added in injectable progesterone as well as the pessaries, I got my BFP. Keep going, I know it’s heart breaking but I never had anything to freeze and it took me 3 cycles and I was older than you, so keep positive. I have everything crossed for you x

[Littlepip1 in reply to Kitkat10]

Thank you so much for this. Giving me some hope xx