Negative pregnancy test, is it over?

[Brownbaby2021]

Hi all, my wife and I are going through IVF. We had one fertilised egg which was transferred just over two weeks ago.

Yesterday was our first pregnancy test and it was negative. We've been asked to do another tomorrow and if it's negative then we stop the progesterone. My wife seemed OK yesterday but today she's been very upset and doesn't want to talk about it. I'm really worried about how she will be after the second test.

She has booked herself for a counselling session next week but does anyone have any advice in terms of how I can support her?

And, I want to stay positive and be hopeful but is this it? Is the second test ever positive or are we destined to go through this all over again?

[Bailey_2019]

Hi I'm so sorry for your BFN let's prey for a miracle for your next test, I'm only ever supposed to test once but still test for a few days just in case . I think I torture myself. Going through it twice I know how your hearts are breaking right now.

My advice is just be there give her cuddles but give her space when she needs it (you'll know when that it is) let her have her emotional breakdowns without making her feel crazy. Have a bitch about the situation with her you dont always need to stay positive this infertilty/ivf is bloody shit!! But don't forget you have also been through this make sure you talk to your family and friends and look after yourself to. You are also entitled to feel sadXx

[Brownbaby2021 in reply to Bailey_2019]

Thank you.

I am sad. I'm not angry or frustrated though. I feel like we are in a privileged position in that we have a daughter who is absolutely wonderful person and brings us joy everyday.

My hopes are for those that are going through this for their first. Even with your eyes wide open, knowing all the numbers, knowing the challenges, it's such a tough emotional experience.

[Muppetgirl]

So hard but I had a negative test on my test day. I then had bloods done the next day and they were positive. So 2 days later bloods again to see if they nearly double and they did! I now have a gorgeous 2 year old.Express your feelings too. I found it hard when it seemed like I was the only emotional one in the journey. I now know that my partner thought that he was just being strong for me.

Good luck with whatever happens.

Sending growing and dividing vibes.

[Brownbaby2021 in reply to Muppetgirl]

Thanks for this. Throughout this I have been saying that I'm not as fussed about the result because my wife had a child from her first marriage, and I'm happy being the three of us.

She's wanted another child to 'complete' her family, so in saying what I have, I may be making her feel like she's the only one that's going through this.

Much like your partner my coping mechanism is to try to be the 'strong' one.

I have everything crossed and I'm hoping we have a similar experience to you.