I’m back on here after a break… it’s been a rollercoaster 12 months! I’ve just finished the down regs, waiting for my bleed before starting stims on Monday, and hopefully having a collection on the 25th Feb.
I’m just feeling a bit low, and pessimistic which I know I shouldn’t! I had my amh tested which is 1.3 (I’m only 35) so that’s haunting me. I had an egg collection 2 years ago, and got 10 eggs on a 225 menopur dose, now they’ve upped me to 450 ovaleap and I’m just a mixed back of emotions, totally worried about how ill respond and what ifs…
My friends are getting pregnant so easily with their 2nd or 3rd babies, and to be honest I just feel lonely!! Each conversation is always about their kids, which I totally understand but I sort of feel irrelevant and like I don’t get asked to do things as much now! Mostly because they arrange things when at baby classes or pram walks etc.
I just needed a vent really! I know my feelings are normal and so many of you are in the same boat.
If anyone feels like boosting my spirits please do so haha. We got 4 embryos last time (first one miscarriage at 7 weeks) and 3 failed implantations.
Is there still hope? What do you recommend to stay positive?
Thanks, and I hope you’re all doing ok. We’re stronger than we give ourselves credit for xxx
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Catlady12345
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if it helps, I know exactly how you feel. and it is shit. sometimes we need to give ourselves a break and say it is shit and it's so hard being around all of that when you want it so badly 💔. I'm so sorry about your miscarriage and failed transfers.
But this is a new round and new chance. try and be positive, I don't know if you've looked into manifestation, but it might help.
You got plenty of eggs last time , no reason this will be any different. I have found AMH hasn't been the best precursor of treatment. Go off your AFC that's all the matters.
I to have low AMH and I think it causes alot of unnecessary stress. it can fluctuate each month along with LH and FSH. I had 450 of overleap last time and it was fine. everything crossed for you xx
We got better embryos on our second retrieval with low AMH so hoping the best for you too. Also feel the pain of lots of friends with babies. It’s hard but hopefully our turn soon.x Good luck.x
So sorry you’re feeling like this but it is totally normal, this journey is such a rollercoaster of complicated emotions that can overwhelm you more on some days than others. And the hormones you’re pumping into your body will be contributing to how you feel as well!
Be kind to yourself, and trust that you’re in good hands. It can sometimes just take that one embryo to be the one and you collected good numbers in the past so everything crossed that you will do the same again 🤞🏻 My reflexologist once told me to stop worrying about things I can’t control because what’s the point 🤷🏻♀️ - I can focus on what I can control up until egg collection I.e., my diet, my health, whether I choose to believe it will go wrong or I can imagine the worst and worry and cause myself more anxiety before anything has even happened. And she’s right - it’s easy for me to say that now but it’s true. We sometimes have to work a little harder to turn our negative thoughts into better and more hopeful ones but when we do, it helps us feel a little lighter.
To stay positive, I use to just tell myself that there is no reason why this won’t work for me. I would focus on me and my journey, removing any other stressor from my life where possible I.e., I took time away from work, I avoided social media (too many pregnancy announcements at a time I was too low to manage them) and I put my phone on silent so I could filter any messages I was receiving (I couldn’t handle group chats between family and friends at the time either). I also focused on both my physical and mental health; I took nice walks outside around my fave parks and the river, I’d practice yoga (not post transfer) and I’d eat a balanced nutritious diet full of feel good food (if I wanted the chocolate though, I ate it).
I watched funny movies, baked, did so many jigsaw puzzles whilst listening to podcasts (that became one of my fave activities because it distracted me for hours) and generally just had a lot of me and hubby time!
My close friends knew what I was going through so a lot of them were respectful of conversations with me. Do you friends know what you’re going through? Sometimes it’s good to be honest and tell them so they understand that you may need to take a step back during this time to care for you.
This is a long post but I hope some of the above helps.
Keep your chin up, you’ve got this! All the best with your egg collection 🍀 xxx
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