Hurting

[Uffculmedolly]

So today I’ve come up to visit my grandmother, who hasn’t been well. she is well aware of our ten year struggle (and still ongoing) to have a baby… when we first started ttc she knitted me some baby clothes… lovely 🥰 … except ten years later the clothes are still sat in a box in the cupboard unused 😞 … today she asked me what she should do with them… she was wondering if I wanted to give them to a cousin who is having her second baby… practically that makes sense but gosh does it hurt…. 😢

[butterfliez]

Hi so sorry to read this today, it's so sad when things don't work out whilst TTC for such a long time and when family are aware you feel so much pressure too and heartbreaking when situations like this occur. hope your ok xx

[HappyGreenBean]

Ooof. That must have felt like a knock. I'm so sorry. It's tough because obviously there's nothing that you can say or do with this, it's your Nan being a Nan and trying to show love to everyone. But with it being such a sensitive subject that's dear to you (and your Nan) it must have been very hard to hear. I understand because although I've not experienced what you have or been through what you have, I've had some painful exchanges with loved ones that have really made me want to burst out crying.

Sending you lots of hugs. Just remember, you're going through a lot, so be kind to yourself.

[Fruitandflowers]

I struggled what to respond to this because like a previous reply my reaction was just 'oof'. It's your grandmother and so it all comes from a well-meaning place, but it's such a jolt and physical reminder. Maybe not having the clothes there in a box might be a good thing - thinking you're giving something lovely and handmade to a relative who can use them now, and not have them there 'waiting'. You can use them when it's your time or have new ones and in the meantime they are enjoyed and special for a short time for a family member. I know it's not really about the clothes themselves though and I'm sorry for what you're going through - I was in that place for a long time and it hurts x

[Ajbbaa]

I’m so sorry that happened to you. I think people who have never suffered with infertility truly know what it feels like to go through. ❤️Hope you are ok x

[MagicTourmaline]

I am so sorry to read this... 😪 I am so sorry you have to go through this...Not too sure what to say as nothing I say will make you feel in less pain but I am sending you hugs and warm thoughts... I hope you ok...

[Hoping20]

Hello, when I read your post I felt very sad. It’s so incredibly hard and of course you will be feeling hurt and sadness right now. Your gran is coming from a good place and did not mean to cause upset. Try to be kind to yourself...and remember you are not alone in this battle. We here on this forum understand your pain and I hope having this support network will give you a little bit of comfort. Thinking of you x

[Twiglet2]

Oh my goodness 😢 that must have really hurt, all I can think of is that it was her way of trying to figure out if you were still trying and hoping for success? Like if you said yes give them away that she should stop hoping too? Or maybe her not being well made her not think clearly. Other than that I can’t think of a single reason why someone would say that, especially a family member, and I just want to give you a big hug xxx

[Isa77]

Keep the clothes, you don’t have to give up hope yet?!! Keep positive. Your grandma just doesn’t understand how much pain these things can cause us, and maybe she doesn’t know what might just be around the corner for you. I felt the same way… eventually I had my daughter at 40 years old after wanting to give up. You never know what might happen next in life… x

[AuroraXen]

Ouch! Bless you, that's a tough situation. If it were me, I think I'd say something like 'we haven't given up hope yet Grandma, we're still doing everything we can to make our dream come true and bring our precious baby home. I'd give anything for our miracle to be here and be able to wear these lovely gifts. But look, if you think you'd like to give them to X, of course I understand'. I'd be surprised if she then actually responded with 'yep, I'll go ahead and do that then'. I suspect like Twiglet said, maybe she was just trying to find out what's happening and if you're still trying. Really sorry you have to deal with this sweetheart xx