So i dont know why but I am feeling super low today. I have been trying to stay really positive since i started this whole IVF journey. My bf and I started ( both 31 years old ) an IVF cycle in 2020 because his sperm was not good and then they found out my ovarian reserve could be a little better but nothing really low. So i did a fresh embryo transfer that didn't work and then 3 frozen 5 day embryo transfers that didn't work. We took a break from may to september and i did the ERA test which came back fine. I did an egg retrieval ( 16 eggs , 12 mature, 6 fertilised and only 1 good embryo) so a little disappointed with the results. They transfered back a fresh 5 day embryo and another one that was too weak for freezing just to "boost" this one whatever that means... So far i was really positive but now i feel like this will never happen to me like i have never been pregnant never. I don't understand what is wrong and don't have faith in the embryo they have put back this time...
If anyone has any advice i would be happy to hear it or experience in this.
Written by
Yellowbellow1212
To view profiles and participate in discussions please or .
Oh bless you. I think its really normal to become more and more negative after failed rounds. We all go into IVF thinking its 'the fix' and then when the first round doesn't work its fine because its a 'learning round' and things will be different next time... and then it isn't. I also think its equally hard when nothing is technically 'wrong' you just don't get pregnant and no one can tell you why not. Its completely inevitable that you can't feel positive as you are subconsciously preparing yourself for the worst again just in case, and you have that feeling that it happens to everyone else but never will with you. Then add the complexities of all the hormones and the roller coaster of the 2ww and things.
I don't think there is any advice per se over and above the normal 'keep busy, do some meditation' etc etc which probably isn't very useful at this stage. The perils of the 2ww in this article always reassured me that what I was feeling was normal (and I think they are amplified with each new cycle) babycenter.com.au/thread/39....
The one thing I would say is I do believe there is an element of luck to all this. I have friends who got pregnant on their 7th and 9th transfer,... they did nothing different and they were their worst embryos. My sister has 2 children from her last 2 embryos (transfers 7 and 8) again she didn't do anything different. So stranger things have happened and this could be your round. So sending you loads of positive vibes and a huge hug xx
Hey, thank you so much, it does feel good to hear from someone who kind of "thinks" the same way as you or has been through the same. Because its true i always feel bad complaining or having doubts because I know I am still young and I don't have anything wrong so i keep it for myself most of the time until the bad news. So it is a case of schizophrenia in a way. I go from being like super zen and like hopeful in a pragmatic way that it will eventually happen and I have time . But some days I just add up that it never worked and I don't know it is a mind fuck. But I will say talking to people and getting feedback like yours does impress me on how much wisdom and maturity this gives people. Thanks a mill !
Thinking of you yellowbellow it's horrible to feel this way. But you've come so far. Even making it to transfer stage is amazing ❤ 1 is all it takes. Be fair to yourself you're doing amazing xxx ⭐😻
🤗❤ and don't feel bad complaining (I read your post above) its very normal you are going through alot and sometimes just need some support. But you've got this! Come on little embie xxx
It is a really difficult journey, I am sorry you feeling down...As I said I was in a similar situation as you are with the egg collection and the embryo... I had only 1 embryo out of the 14 fertilised and that was the 1... and so far we are doing really well...
Please have faith, eventho its difficult sometimes...
I tell you what helped me... every morning and every evening I lay down and imagine / visualise every main step of this journey (scans, tests, birth...ect) one by one all positive, I imagine what the nurse will say like it happens in front of me and feel how it will feel when it happens... I have been doing this since just before my transfer and so far it really helped... My anxiety reduced at least 80% and my body now actally believe in the success and it work towards it...
I know it might sounds weird to do this and not everybody's cup of tea but after my first 2 failed transfer where I was stressed as hell for the whole time, now for the first time things going in the right directions and I really want to share it with other people coz I really want to help as I know what everybody is going through...
I wish you all the best and a great success with your journey... ❤
Did you visualise embie in the lining and that working? I've actually heard this is really beneficial. Kind of like tricking your brain 🧠 I've tried before but can't convince myself enough .. if you have any other tips? I believe in this xxx
Your story does give hope ! Actually the positive meditation makes sense I read somewhere to do so. I haven’t been because it is not in my nature but they say visualisation helps !!
One thing that's really helped me is just allowing myself to feel awful when I feel awful. It's natural to be sad sometimes, particularly going through this nonsense, and it literally doesn't say anything about you. If I can, I climb into bed with tea and just cry, cuddle the cat, and maybe listen to an audiobook. I always feel a little lighter afterwards.
Also, I don't if this is cheesy, but my husband always asks me "What would help you feel a little better right now?" And I find this useful for when I feel hopeless. I just try and do one nice thing for myself rather than worrying too far ahead.
Anyway, don't know if this is helpful, but really hope you start feeling lighter soon.
Content on HealthUnlocked does not replace the relationship between you and doctors or other healthcare professionals nor the advice you receive from them.
Never delay seeking advice or dialling emergency services because of something that you have read on HealthUnlocked.
About to start 3rd embryo transfer with steroids
Starting a journey full of fears and doubts
does it really only take one? 
Feeling really down in 2WW
