23 weeks pregnant and my husband died... - Fertility Network UK

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23 weeks pregnant and my husband died today. I am numb.

Belangalo profile image

He is my soulmate, the love of my life! We were so excited to be parents. He was looking forward to feeling her kick, to holding her, to being a daddy. I can't believe this is real. It feels like a dream I will wake up from. Please God may it be a nightmare and I wake up to him snoring his head off.

How do I do this? What do I do? His daughter is only going to know him from photos. I am going to miss him all the years of my life. I'm 38 and I just lost my everything.

114 Replies

I'm so so so sorry to read this. This must truly be a horrendous shock for you. Have you got family round to support you through this difficult difficult time? Xxx

I'm so sorry to read this. I dont think anything I can say that could ease your pain or even be able to contemplate what your going through. But I hope you have some support system to help you xx

I am lost for words other than to say how very sorry I am for your heartbreaking loss 💔 There really is nothing I or I’m sure anyone could say to you right now that will ease your pain. I hope you have an amazing support system surrounding you. Sending you so much love and keeping you in my thoughts and prayers xx

Oh wow I am so sorry to read this. What an awful shock. Use everything available to you in terms of support. Sending you much love and hugs xx

Hi Belangalo,I am so sorry to hear of your loss. My Dad passed away recently when I was 11 weeks pregnant, so can understand what you are going through.

Dealing with bereavement whilst pregnant is tough, allow yourself time to grieve and please speak to your midwife and family when you are struggling.

If you need to talk, I am here.

Take time to look after yourself.

Xx

Belangalo profile image
Belangalo in reply to Essence1

What do I do and where do I start? I can't sleep, I feel sick and he is gone. I'm alone. My mum and sister are here but I am now alone. I lost my beloved soulmate! 😭😭😭😭😭😭

Essence1 profile image
Essence1 in reply to Belangalo

Hi Belangalo,I know it is hard, the loss is still very recent so do not expect yourself to comes to terms with it immediately. Take it moment by moment and do not expect too much from yourself.

Try to focus on the good times you had with your husband and what he would say to you now.

If you cannot sleep please speak to you doctor or midwife, very important you get some extra support and care to look after yourself and the little one.

Xx

Belangalo profile image
Belangalo in reply to Essence1

I have diazepam from my FS to take to sleep now and baby is doing just fine. I can't lose her, it would kill me. She is all that is stopping me from following my husband. She is a part of him and he would be so mad if I didn't take care of her after all we went through to get her. I am terrified of raising her alone and terrified something will happen to her. I've already prayed that if God takes her, he needs to take me at the same time to be with my beloved James and our baby. I don't know how I'm going to get through this.

God will help you

Life can be so cruel. I’m so sorry to read about your loss, I can’t imagine what you are going through. Please lean on friends, family and you maternity team at this awful time. Sending you love and strength xxx

I am so so sorry. I send you all the strength in the world as you try to navigate this profound loss. It’s unimaginable and such a huge shock. Please take care of yourself and your precious little girl. So so deeply sorry xxxx

How can I take care of myself. My husband was taking care of me 😭 I can't believe I won't see him again, hold him again, talk to him, laugh with him. His daughter will never know him. I can't wrap my head around it!!! It just can't have happened!!

blushpink profile image
blushpink in reply to Belangalo

Hi there, if you are interested, there is a woman named Emily Cave who lost her husband last year very tragically and suddenly, she is publicly active on Instagram and speaks out a lot about her grief. There are other widows who also connect with each other for support, I noticed on her page. There is a woman named Ellidy Pullin who is having her deceased partner’s baby soon, too. He was a former Olympic athlete and died while spear fishing very suddenly. I am so sorry again and I hope you are able to find some support from these women or others like them.

I am so so sorry to hear this. How sad this must be! But he has left you with the biggest of the gifts and every time you will look at her she will remind you of him. I hope you have family and friends who can help you at this difficult time. If you want to talk PM me any time ❤️

I’m so so sorry for your devastating loss. I can’t even begin to imagine how you must be feeling. Sending love, strength & hugs to you. Take care and please reach out when you need to. You are not alone ❤️ xxx

I'm so sorry, this is heartbreaking. Please take care of yourself xxx

I’m so sorry you’re having to go through this. How utterly horrendous. None of us can take your pain away, it must be so difficult for you. I hope you have lots of support, people who can be with you, sit with you, give you a hug. Allow yourself to be sad and allow yourself to have “ok” days without feeling guilty. You will get through this. Sending you love. X

Belangalo profile image
Belangalo in reply to COH1981

I don't think anything will ever be ok. I can't sleep, I can't think. I just can't feel anything.

COH1981 profile image
COH1981 in reply to Belangalo

I 100% hear you. You’ve just got to take each day as it comes lovely. Keep talking if you can, take care of your little one, let yourself grieve x

Belangalo profile image
Belangalo in reply to COH1981

I checked with the OBYN and baby is doing well. Waving around with her strong little heartbeat. A heartbeat her daddy doesn't have and just going to the appointment without my husband broke me.

COH1981 profile image
COH1981 in reply to Belangalo

That must’ve been so hard for you, my heart really does go out to you. I hope you had someone that can go with you for support, but I know it’s not the same l 😢Good news your little one is doing well, she sounds like a little fighter x

I’m so very sorry to hear this , it’s just heartbreaking, I can’t begin to imagine what your going through, just wanted to send you a message of support , your are in our thoughts & prayers

Take care xx

So sorry to hear this. You are in my thoughts. ❤️

I don't have any words to make things better for you. Let yourself grieve for now and make sure you take every bit of help you have access to or are offered. One day at a time. My thoughts are with you xxx

Im so sorry for your awful loss so cruel when you had your future to look forward together as a family. 🥲I can't imagine how you must be feeling to lose your life partner especially after such a difficult journey to get pregnant this should be such a happy time for you 🥲

I lost my daughter at 20 weeks pregnant and the grief was overwhelming- but with proper support and time I am learning to live with the loss of Amelia for our toddler I managed to keep going and you will somehow find the strength for your precious daughter.

Grief is such as difficult process especially when it's such an unexpected loss and I hope you have family and friends with you. Xx

Belangalo profile image
Belangalo in reply to Jess1981

My parents and sister are here. I can't accept it. He's just going to walk through the door. He can't be dead! We didn't have enough time! I don't know what to do without him! How can I do this...I can barely roll off the sofa!

Jess1981 profile image
Jess1981 in reply to Belangalo

It is just so awful I am so sorry, I can't imagine how you must be feeling right now. 🥲But I am so glad that you have your parents and sister with you so important you are not alone. Of course you can't accept it it's far too early days to accept the loss of your soul mate🥲. Grief has many stages - denial, shock, devastation, anger and finally acceptance. I'm 9 months since I lost my daughter I'm still in the shock-devastation and anger stage. When my Aunt and Uncle lost their son unexpectedly at 18 years old they reckon their grief shock stage lasted 10 years. Right now you do what is right for you- if you want to be on the sofa that's ok. The unexpected deaths are the hardest to process they are such a huge shock and that shock will take some time to process. Your daughter will be healing to you and a beautiful reminder of him ❤️ Right now it's one day at time Xx

🥺🥺🥺🥺 oh my goodness! Can’t believe this 😭😭😭😭😢😢😢😢😢 you poor poor girl 😩😭😭😭😭😭😭😭 I am so so sorry that you have to face this heart break 😢🥺😩 I don’t even know what words would offer comfort 😭 utterly heartbroken for you and your Wee precious baby 💔 hugs and prayers sweet girl , i don’t know how you’re getting through this but….. you will , somehow …. I hope you’ve got good friends and family to carry you on this tough tough journey 💐💐💐💐😭 here if you need support always 😘 💐💐💐😭😭😭 tight hugs 💐💐💐💐

Belangalo profile image
Belangalo in reply to RhinoCat

I can't accept it. It hasn't sunk in. I can't do this...the long years of my life without him. His daughter not knowing him. All my plans and dreams featured him! It took so long to find him and now I've lost him. The love of my life. The best thing that ever happened to me or could happen to me. Please let me wake up and this is a dream!

RhinoCat profile image
RhinoCat in reply to Belangalo

😭😭😭💔💔💔 you poor poor girl , it is the worst news ever 😭💔😢😩 I can’t imagine the pain you are in right now…. It can’t feel real ….. I don’t want it to be real for you 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭I wish I could take it away 😭😭😭😘😘😘😘😘😘💐💐💐💐💐💐💐💐💐it’s just not fair 😭😭😭😭😭😭

Belangalo profile image
Belangalo in reply to RhinoCat

I can't seem to process the enormity of the loss. Everywhere I look his stamp is on the home we built together. My mother cleaned away his shoes because he isn't going to need them and I ache seeing them and remembering he isn't going to use them! I can't. I just can't. What do I do without him? I have years ahead of me without him. His daughter is going to grow up without him. I can't even comprehend that! He was so excited to be a daddy! His father split when he was a kid so he was determined to be the best father...now he is gone.😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

RhinoCat profile image
RhinoCat in reply to Belangalo

So so sad 😭💔💔💔💔💔

My heart goes out to you. I am deeply sorry for your loss😥😥

I am so devastated for you, my love. Your unexpected natural pregnancy has been a joyful, uplifting thought to me at many points over the past few months and I've been so happy for you and your husband. I can't put into words the shock and sadness I feel for you. As FrancyItaly has said, he's left you with an incredible gift though. Your daughter will be a beautiful reminder of him.

I am so, so sorry for your loss. I will be thinking and praying for you and your daughter xxx

Belangalo profile image
Belangalo in reply to soccerkt6

I am supposed to be sleeping because it is 3:30am here but I just can't. It feels like a dream I'll wake up from. I can't wrap my head around it. He left our home in a body bag...his last trip out of our door was wheeled in a black bag. I just can't...I left him sleeping because he could sleep the night before. I should have checked in on him instead of expecting him to come downstairs when he woke up. I thought he was sleeping a long time. I can't wrap my head around any of it. He was just teasing and laughing with me and now he is gone. It has to be a nightmare.

soccerkt6 profile image
soccerkt6 in reply to Belangalo

Oh love, I wish I could give you a big hug. This is anyone's nightmare and you're doing so so well just to be muddling through each moment. You were being a sweet, loving partner by letting him get some more sleep. What matters at the end of the day is that you were looking out for him and you can't fault yourself for that.

Sending you so much love xxx

Belangalo profile image
Belangalo in reply to soccerkt6

In 24 hours my world has shattered and all my dreams and plans are dust because they were built around him. I can't believe he is gone. I keep expecting him to walk through the door. How do I do all the long years or my life without him?! His daughter is going to grow up without her daddy being there for her! 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

I'm so sorry for you loss. I cant imagine what you must be going through. Please try and keep strong for the baby. 🙏

I'm so so sorry for your devestating loss, I just can't imagine how you feel.

Keep talking to us / your family. Sending love and strength. Xxx

I am so so sorry to read this. I'm thinking of you, wherever you are in the world, there are so many people here thinking of you too. I hope you have lots and lots of support with you in person. Sending you all my love , there's no words today just love. XXX

This is truly heartbreaking and I can't begin to imagine how you must feel. Sending love and strength xx

I am so truly sorry to hear this. 😢 I can not even begin to imagine the pain you are feeling. Heartbreaking. You are in my thoughts 💕

I'm so so so sorry to hear that and I am so sorry I have no words that can ease your pain at the moment. I will be thinking and praying for you and your daughter. Sending you love and strength. Xxx

I am so sad to hear this! No words I could possibly say would make you feel any better! I couldn’t possibly image the pain you must be going though right now. I really hope you have all the support you possibly can. I am just so terribly sorry for your loss. Thinking of you at this time, sending you all my hugs and kisses xxxx

I’m so so so sorry to hear this. Sending all of love & strength in the world to you. Xxxxx

Oh my darling! I’m soooo sorry for your loss. I cannot even comprehend what you are going through. I’m around your age too and I don’t know how I would feel if…… I will be praying for you. May God comfort your heart in this time. I’m here if you need to talk. I am a registered SW and have a background in bereavement. Sending you hugs 🤗

Belangalo profile image
Belangalo in reply to NewMom1982

Thank you. I need help. I don't know how I can go in without him. He was my forever. We had so many plans and now my world is shattered and unrecognisable! He is never going to hold his daughter. I live in our home with him everywhere! I don't even know half of the maintenance to do on it. I am dying but my heart is still beating. I don't know what to do. My God, I am so lost without him.

NewMom1982 profile image
NewMom1982 in reply to Belangalo

Oh honey… I am so sad for you. I did many support groups with women who lost their spouse, so I can envision your pain. Who are you current supports for when you are feeling down- I think you mentioned your mom and sister are at your home. Can you talk to them. Also I would suggest a support group when you are ready. I’m so sorry Belangalo.

I am heartbroken reading this. I am so so sorry for your loss, my heart really truly goes out to you. I remember not sleeping for two nights after my mum passed. All you can do is focus on yourself and your baby and try to figure out how to get through the next hour. Don't worry about next week or next month, just take it hour by hour.

He will be with you forever in your daughter.

Sending so much love xx

Belangalo profile image
Belangalo in reply to Chiefy

I still can't think. I just keep picturing him and then the horrible realisation that he is dead hits me...and I just want to scream and follow him. I can't comprehend thr enormity of it all.

This is heartbreaking. I am so so sorry xxx

I’m so so sorry to read this. Sending you hugs and strength at this difficult time xx

I am so sorry. x

Oh my gosh, I am so terribly sorry to see your post. No words can make you feel better but just wanted to say I'm thinking of you and sending you lots of love. I hope you have lots of support around you.xxx

I am so sorry Belangalo, what an unbelievable tragedy, my heart breaks for you, your baby and your extended family. Life can be so cruel and nonsensical. I hope you have managed to get some sleep. I second the suggestion of some medication if you feel you need some immediate help with sleep/distress, you must feel like you are going out of your mind. I'm glad you have your family with you but I am just so sorry that that this has happened to you long before you should have had to say goodbye. I am sending you strength, courage and love to get through these awful first days and beyond xxx

Belangalo profile image
Belangalo in reply to try2020

I have been given some meds and hope I can sleep tonight. I just want to forget that the love of my life is dead. The pain when I woke up from a brief nap was incredible. I just want to die.

MariaHdz profile image
MariaHdz in reply to Belangalo

Dear Belangalo,

I read your story and I am so sorry. Mine is not similar to yours but I lost my father a couple weeks before knowing I was infertile. Everyone is different and copes different with the pain of loss. It is hard, even years after. It is been 2 years and I have just stopped crying daily. Going to a psychologist a couple months ago, helped me. At the start I used to hate people telling me to give it time. Time helps to make your life bigger to have more memories, but the pain will be there. In my case, i was sad and angry by the plans that won't be, the memories that I won't have and the fact I did not have closure. I am working on that but I feel better now. Something that helped me was to think that i needed to live, because if I saw him again, I would have to tell him all the stories and stuff that he missed. It might sound silly, but for me it helped. I send you a hugh and my support at the distance.

try2020 profile image
try2020 in reply to Belangalo

It is some kind of hell you are in just now, I remember that feeling after my Dad died of forgetting for a brief moment and then the crush of remembering. My heart goes out to you. Nothing can comfort but time will continue to pass and will take you and your baby with it on this journey. Sending you lots of love xxx

Condolence to you and your family. This is so heart broken to read. I cant image what you are going through. Hope you have support to help you get through this difficult time because you are going to need it

I am so so sorry to read this. It is important you take time to process this and grieve. I strongly recommend you seek counselling. You need that level of support from a professional that sadly your family may not be able to offer you. Sometimes it helps to speak to an outsider.

We lost my Dad when I was 6 years old and my mum just 33. My dad was 38. My brothers 2 and 8 at time. Counselling wasn't really a thing in the 80s but I know looking back each of us would've benefited enormously from this.

Just try to look after yourself and the little one. I am so sorry that we can't take away your pain. We're all here for you xxx

So sorry to hear this. Sending lots of love and prayers 🙏

My thoughts are with you. ❤️ Xxx

I am so sorry Belangalo we lost our father in law in July and I feel I still can’t believe. There are some fantastic bereavement counsellors and services contact when you can. With such a massive shock it’s normal to feel how you do xxx

This is truly heartbreaking. Devastating. I’m so, so sorry, please keep fighting over next few days, weeks, months for your girl. I’m sending you love and hugs, we’re all here for you. Xxxx

I am crying non stop. I am so sorry that this happened. I don't know what else to say. I don t know you but I feel heartbroken.

I’m so very sorry to hear this - I just can’t imagine how you’d be feeling it’s absolutely heart breaking. Lean on those around you for support, don’t expect much from yourself and try and think of your DD - he would have wanted you to stay healthy. Sending you love and prayers to get through this difficult time xxx🙏

I am so sorry,this is devastating.

I am so sorry to read this. No words anyone can say will ease the pain you must be going through. All you can do is take it one day at a time, even if it feels like it is one deep breath at a time. Make sure you let others be there for you - close family and friends don't be afraid to lean on them for support. Look after yourself. Will keep you in my thoughts and prayers xx

Oh my goodness. How awful. I’m so sorry this has happened. I hope you have friends and family to support you. Sending love and prayers x

I'm so sorry to hear this. Words won't even come close to how your feeling. I hope you are ok, thinking of you xxx

Hi darling, I'm so sorry that you have had to experience such an awful thing. Life can be so difficult.

I’m so very sorry to read this, my heart goes out to you. Sending you the biggest hugs and lots of love at this difficult time. Be kind to yourself and hope you have lots of support around you. xxx

So sorry for your loss, can’t even begin to imagine what your going through, was it unexpected?

Oh nooooo, this can’t be true tears 😭 are rolling down my eyes I can’t even imagine what you are going through this most be one of the most painful thing anyone can ever go through in life. Am so so sorry for what you are going through and all your pain. I know is not easy but please try and take care of yourself for your baby girl because she needs her mama to be okay too and your husband will want you to take care of yourself and be okay too. It will never be the same again in your life but in time you will find away to move on and be happy for your daughter. Life is so cruel sometimes sending you and your baby girl all the love and hugs. Thanks to your mother and sister for being there with you. I went through your profile i saw what you both went through before conceiving this miracle baby and then this happened I don’t even know what to say other than please be strong you are strong already

Belangalo profile image
Belangalo in reply to Sweethear

My world has shattered beyond recognition. Our baby girl is going to grow up without her daddy. She misses put on so much and he misses out on everything. I can't wrap my head around it

Sweethear profile image
Sweethear in reply to Belangalo

That is so true she will mis out on a lot of things but she got you and the rest of the family to help her and tell tell her about her dad she is going to be ok because she got such a strong mother like you and an Angel 😇 as a dad watching over both of you. My Dad was kidnapped on the 24th of August 2010 and brutally killed and fond in the bush after paying Ransom on the 30th of August 2010 their is nothing to compare the pain I thought I will die because he was everything to me but somehow I saved it and am getting stronger everyday leaving without him and it gets easier as time goes on. So I understand what you’re going through nothing will take the pain away for now but time and positive thinking. Sending you all the strength and love that you will need to move forward

I’m so so sorry for your loss. Life is so unbelievably cruel. Sending you and baby girl so much love. We are all here for you if you ever need to talk xxx

I am so sorry. Sending you lots of love. xx

I am so terribly terribly sorry for this awful loss. My heart is with you and I will be hoping you get what you need when you need it. I am so sorry.

So so sorry to hear about what you’re going through… may God help you and your family🙌

I'm so sorry, I can't even imagine your pain right now, having your dream comes true to have a baby with the love of your life and than lose him. One of my doctor patients had the same experience, after 10 years of infertility she got pregnant and her husband passed away because of covid and now her baby boy is all what she have. Take your time to grief , your little girl need you.

Oh nooooo this is awful news I'm soooo sorry may Allah help you find comfort at this difficult time. It won't be easy but you have to remember all the good memories so you are able to tell your daughter in time inshaallah I'm so sorry

I’m so sorry love. My thoughts are with you and your family at this difficult time. Look after yourself and your little one and remember you still have a part of him with you xx

I am so so sorry for your loss Belanglo 💔💔This is just devastating to read.

No words can help ease the pain but I just had to respond & let u know u & your precious baby will be in my thoughts.

Sending u so much love 💝xx

I’m so sorry for your loss…. You and your family are in my thoughts and prayers 🙏🏽🙏🏽🥰

Images are hidden by default on this community.

I’m so sorry. My thoughts are with you. Take care of yourself xx

I am so so sorry about the bad news, Belangalo. I can totally understand how you are feeling. Do take time to grieve. Do you have any close family and friends nearby? Sending you big hugs. Am here to support you!

Belangalo profile image
Belangalo in reply to Dreambaby

My family is staying with me right now and helping to get everything done. The police, coroner...no one is talking to me but to my parents. I'm just not with it enough for them.

This is devastating, heartbreaking!! I’m so sorry, please be strong. I send you lots of love and strength.

I'm so so sorry for your loss hun.may the god almighty guide you through this difficult time and heal you.Do you have family?was your ill or sudden?I'm so sad for your loss.sending big hugs...😪

Belangalo profile image
Belangalo in reply to Eesa1

It was sudden and unexpected. I still can't process what has happened. It feels like a bad dream and just want to wake up. It's a living nightmare. Everywhere I look, he is stamped all over our home. I can't bare to remember that he is gone.

I have no words, this is truly heartbreaking. Hope you have a great support system. Just awful xxx

This is unbelievably sad. I can’t imagine the devastation you’re feeling. Your mind & body are overcome with grief right now. Let your family & friends surround & protect you. Don’t make any big decisions. Just focus on getting through each hour. You will be ok eventually but it’s going to be a painful and hard journey to navigate.

Sending love, hugs, strength and fortitude. Thinking of you, your family and of course your husband. I’m so sorry for your loss. Everyone on here is holding you in their hearts xx

Belangalo profile image
Belangalo in reply to JenRoy

I miss him so much and every single hour takes me further away from the last time I touched him, heard his voice, kissed him and made love to him. I want to be with him and the pain is beyond anything...my world is gone.

I am so sad to read this, I feel devastated for you. So sorry for your loss. You have been an inspiration to others, after all the struggles you went through and then achieved your dream. There are no words that can help, but I wanted to reply to just echo what others have said. Thinking of you and I hope you have plenty of support. May your memories bring you comfort in time. Sending you massive hugs xxx

I’m so sorry. There are no words but I pray you find the strength through your little girl who are you are carrying - a piece of your husband. Sending love

I am so sorry for your loss. This is truly devastating and my heart breaks for you. I know there is nothing to say to take away your pain. I almost lost my husband a few years ago and being without that person who is your everything and partner in life is incomprehensible. I am just so so sorry.

I am lost for word!!! But I would like to pray for you that May the God of heaven confort you from within, May he heal your pain, give u strength to be a mum and dad at the same time for that little beautiful girl on the way and keep both of you in perfect health. I honestly was cry😭😭😭😭 when reading your story because it touches my heart but from my heart I have prayed all this prayer for you and I pray God will answer all of this prayer for you because there is no amount of word can bring him back but God himself will fill his place for you and give you the strength you need to carry on. I wish you absolutely nothing but the very best forever. Amen and Amen IJN

Thank you for this. I keep praying and I keep living this nightmare. If it weren't for the baby they'd be bursting two of us. I don't want to be without him.

You are much stronger than you think you are.

You’ll have a lot of thoughts going through your head now. Just express your thoughts with your mom and sis. It’s very important.

Your daughter will be a very strong girl and so will you in bringing her up.

Take one day at a time.

Don’t hesitate to request for any support from midwife or doctor. Everyone will be very understanding and will consider your situation and support you as best as possible.

Take care.

Oh hun, I read your post and tears came up. I am SO SORRY you lost the love of your life. It’s SO UNFAIR. SO SO SO UNFAIR. You must be in utter disbelief, asking yourself ‘why’. Life is SO SHIT sometimes, we are unable to understand why things are happening the way they do. Death is something we cannot comprehend 💔it takes EVERYTHING from us, leaving us alone and broken. Take time to be angry, to cry, to shout…..allow the pain to surface, you’re entitled to it!! But don’t forget that LIFE is inside you 💖your precious daughter 💖she has a mummy that loves her with all her heart and will tell her everything about her dad 💖her dad will be in both your hearts….and I know it’s not the same and it’s SO UNFAIR but the love of your life, your partner and her daddy will always be in your hearts! NOONE and NOTHING will EVER take that away from you!!!!!Sending the biggest hug to you, please do reach out to me if you want to talk. 💖

Lots of love xxxx

Thinking of you, sending you love and hugs at this difficult time. Please try and look after yourself and the baby xx

I am so so sorry to hear your news. My thoughts are with you and your daughter. Sending you huge huge hugs xxxxxx

I am so sorry for your loss. I'm sure you don't know what to do, but you have your baby and he would want you to keep going. It's going to be hard of course, but you have a lot of support. We're all here for you. Sending you love and hugs <3

I'm so so so sorry for your loss. You and your daughter are in my prayers. I hope you find some form peace and comfort during this dark time. I'm so sorry.

Not appropriate to ask this at this time.

Absolutely Heartbreaking 💔 I’m so so sorry for your loss xxxxxxxxxx

The days get worse. I wake up and remember that I am now alone and the most wonderful husband that loved me is gone and never coming home to me or our little one. I cancelled the deluxe birth suit that accommodates couples to bond with baby. I'm not a couple anymore so don't need the reminder of a huge double bed. I'm going to bring our daughter home on Christmas eve...by myself.

My mother is pretty much moving in with me. I know I need the help and I can't be alone. Dad will be here all the time as well. My husband's mother is coming from across country to stay with me and I ache to hold her because she is a part of my husband.

How do I feel? Still disbelief. Still shock and the pain that hits at times makes me scream and cry. If I am honest, I have had dark thoughts of following him but baby binds me. She deserves the best chance I can give her. My beloved and I were so excited and wanted to raise her a particular way and now that's my responsibility. Time sped by with my husband, I never felt we had enough time to love each other. Now that he is gone...the years ahead of me look so long and so bleak that I really would rather not.

We have two amazing large dogs that were hubby's pride and joy. His babies and they adored him! They are now my babies and I love them and need to do right by them. So...I have a lot of agonising years ahead of me without him.

How do I move ahead when my life has shattered into something unrecognisable? I ache for him and for the past so much it scares me. I need to focus on the baby but all I can think about is my husband and how much it hurts to be without him. Please tell me how to change my mindset. I am desperate.

Sorry for your loss

AuroraXen profile image
AuroraXen in reply to Belangalo

I'm just so broken-hearted for you, reading these messages Belangalo. Life can play the cruellest of tricks. As if you hadn't gone through enough 💔 I don't have words to make it better, nobody does. But I'm so glad those around you are sheltering you and supporting you. They will hold you up and help you, always, and over time it will get more bearable. Things will never be the same, and you know that, BUT when your baby is here you will make a new life, with your lovely dogs too, and your relatives and friends. You will never forget him and as others have said, he will follow you along your next journey, through your memories and through the piece of him that will live on through your precious daughter. It isn't the same, and it isn't fair, I know. It won't seem like it now, maybe not for a long time, but the days WILL begin to get a little better. Your utter shock screams out across this webpage, as it would for all of us: to lose someone with no warning, in the midst of such a happy time, must just knock you sideways. Your poor mind is struggling to understand what cannot be understood. But the grief will change, one painful day at a time, until the joy begins to shine through again. And for you, this joy will come from the little one you are carrying. Perhaps it doesn't even feel it now, in all this heartache, but you carry such a precious gift, and you will go on, at first for her, and then later, for you too - life will open up again for you, I am sure💖. Right now though, all you can do is get through each day. That's the only goal you need to set yourself. The little things: eat; wash; sleep; cry; talk about how you are feeling; reach out to those around you. This is a time for functioning, not for thriving, a time to ride the storm until some light appears again. Sending you so many hugs and praying for you all xxx

I’m so sorry for your loss. This is utterly heartbreaking and I have no words. Sending all my love to you and your daughter.xx

I am very sorry! I have no words to tell you besides that I am deeply sorry!

Hello, how are you and the little baby girl doing? I hope you are doing a bit okay. Just thinking of you sending you a lot love and strength cope with everything that is going on with you. Please take care of yourself

I am so terribly sorry for your loss. He has left you a part of him that will forever be within you now ❤️

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