Had a row 2 days after IUI: Hey Ladies... - Fertility Network UK

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Had a row 2 days after IUI

Missionofendo profile image
14 Replies

Hey Ladies

I’m feeling abit anxious today.

Had my IUI on Thursday went very well.

Friday evening started the progesterone gel.

Yesterday afternoon got upset and had a row which was made worse as I was trying not to get upset with worry of stress.

Today I’m feeling anxious I’ve ruined everything 😞

I came home yesterday and just tried to re Center myself which worked but I’m left with worry now…..

Anyone got any Advice or feedback or similar thing happened?

Thank you x

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Missionofendo profile image
Missionofendo
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14 Replies
Gingerluv2021 profile image
Gingerluv2021

It’s a stressful time and there are bound to be times it boils over. Preventative measures may work for you … are you going for walks at all? Either by yourself or with a friend to chat? Or maybe some phone chats to vent. We all need that at some point or another.

Even though it’s our body being poked and prodded, we have to remember that our partners are going through emotional stress too. Though they might not show it or communicate so well, they also have the hope for a baby and they are trying to support us - all without having any control or means of doing anything to secure an outcome other than providing a sample!

If you don’t feel you are getting the emotional support you need, you should tell your partner but also seek out friends to support you too - some partners, as wonderful as they are, have trouble coping with lots of emotion too.

Best of luck for you ✨

Missionofendo profile image
Missionofendo in reply to Gingerluv2021

Thank you I’m doing walks I have a dog. The row was with my Mum I’m doing this alone and I guess that impacts how I’m feeling too.

I’ll try a call friend I’m just feeling abit low from yesterday and I know the progesterone doesn’t help.

I really appreciate your message thank you for taking the time to reply.

2 week wait is hard enough let alone with any negativity I just hope it’s not ruined my chances of it working xx

Gingerluv2021 profile image
Gingerluv2021 in reply to Missionofendo

Moms are funny! I told my mom about my IVF recently and I received a cold reception. Only a few days later did she say how worried she was for me and that’s why she wasn’t overly excited about it. Maybe your mum is too? I just told my mom that I needed her support. It made me really sad though.

Every situation is different and we all need support in one way or another!! I don’t think you getting upset once will affect your chances. Watch a funny or your fav movie to take your mind off of things for a little while!

I’ve just started stims and not feeling like myself so burying myself in Downton!! Lots of hugs 🤗

Missionofendo profile image
Missionofendo in reply to Gingerluv2021

Thank you so much,It’s really hard as I know I’m over sensitive but we just clashed over something silly and I guess we both feel dreadful today from it.

I woke up this morning feeling even more anxious then I did yesterday.

I really appreciate your reply and want to send you the best of luck too x

I’m going to watch rubbish to tv and will defo try to watch a comedy

Thanks again xx

Running79 profile image
Running79

I don’t think you need to worry at all, I’ve had rows, got angry, carried on doing building work and I’m nearly 25 weeks pregnant

Good luck 👍

Missionofendo profile image
Missionofendo

Massive congratulations & I really appreciate your reply it’s made me smile thanks x

Blue-cat33 profile image
Blue-cat33

Hi, I had my first IVF cycle a few weeks ago. I am also on my own. 2 days before egg collection I had a huge argument with my mum and it went it on for a few days. Never felt so alone at the time when I needed so much support. She was driving me to my appointment and in the end I had to explain to her what the argument was doing to me and that it just was not about her right now.

I did not really have any friends to talk to either.

If you have friends you can speak to, talk to them about how you are feeling or even just everyday things. It may distract you and that may relax you.

Hope it works out.

Missionofendo profile image
Missionofendo in reply to Blue-cat33

Aghh I’m so sorry to hear that, it’s really hard isn’t it doing it alone especially this 2 week wait.

Thanks I’ll try to call I also don’t want to bother other people right now.

I am sending you lots of good luck & really hope your ok x

Thank you so much for your reply I know it must be hard for you too rowing is awful and we don’t need added stress.

Good luck x

Belangalo profile image
Belangalo

I was also going to be doing IVF on my own and had the sperm all bought and ready to go. I had my first cycle all geared up to start and then I met my now husband (complete shock and at the 11th hour) so agreed to delay the cycle by a few months to see "where this would go". We got married and we ended up needing IVF so I still ended up at the clinic but this time with hubby's sperm!

I understand the pressure and the fear that you are experiencing. It's a unique situation with so many of the same IVF concerns but heaps of extra ones too that I don't think a lot of people understand! Biggest hugs!!! I am PROUD of you for being so brave and standing up to get what you want! It's a huge decision to make and it is scary! It took a heap of strength and courage IVF! 🤗 IVF is such an enormous step to take and taking it as a single woman requires all the more courage and determination in my humble opinion. It certainly scared the bejeezuz out of me when I was forking over money to buy donor sperm and learning how to explain in an age appropriate way to a baby about donor sperm!

I'm in OZ and I needed 2 counselling sessions before I was allowed to pursue becoming a single mother by choice through IVF. Have you attended some counselling? 😊 I found it very good to discuss all my fears and concerns about being a single mother, how to explain to the little one about donors and really understand my reasons for pursuing IVF with donor sperm. I also joined a closed Single Mothers By Choice forum with other single women who were in the middle of the process or had already succeeded with IVF. They were so supportive a understanding of my fears and grief over accepting the loss of the "dream" of having what I saw as a traditional looking family unit. Are you able to join such an online community? 😊I know there is a big one in USA and a few small ones in Oz. Finding your "tribe" while going through such an emotional and physically trying time can really help you not feel so alone. They even have meetup groups so that you can meet and mingle with other single mothers by choice in your area.

IVF is incredibly stressful with the physical demands and the emotional toll. You also have a lot of other emotions to process on top which can't be easy. Forgive yourself for the row with your mum. You really do have so much going on and your mum likely can't really understand even though I sure she loves and supports you. Right now, do what you need to do to ride the emotional storm. Stress doesn't necessarily destroy your chances of falling pregnant! Many ladies fall pregnant during wars, pandemics and horribly stressful events. I fell pregnant naturally about two weeks after surgery! I was eating comfort goods (not a Brazil nut, pineapple or healthy diet in sight). You are in with a great shot! Please try to stay positive and enjoy the hope of the 2ww! Best wishes and good luck! Xxxx

Missionofendo profile image
Missionofendo

Thank you so much your reply was really helpful, kind and understanding which is all I wanted from My Mum.She’s brilliant very practical and very helpful but on the emotional side it’s harder.

I’ve done 2 rounds of IVF that didn’t work and opted for IUI this time being less invasive.

I did one Councilling session with this it was ok not very deep but ok.

When your on this journey your incredibly sensitive and on edge during this 2 week wait.

I really loved your idea of group single Mums and will look into it when the time is right.

It’s a massive deal choosing fertility support and the bumpy journey along the way and doing it alone can be hard and it’s kind for you to understand.

I’m so relieved to get these replies it’s made me feel a lot less alone and that’s really why I reached out.

Small worries can feel a lot bigger and me being upset and having the row was too much on my mind.

I’m so grateful for your reply & congratulations on both husband & pregnancy.

Thanks Again

Claire x

Bella_Bee profile image
Bella_Bee

I did this on my own too. The more dickheads I meet, the more reassured I am that settling was simply not an option for me. Don't worry in the slightest about a single argument. I've actually read medical research that said occasional bouts of stress have no real impact on fertility. You'd have to go through something like heroin withdrawal type of stress to potentially have a negative impact on a pregnancy and even then you'd probably be fine. A stressful work meeting, deadline or an argument have no impact on implantation or pregnancy WHATSOEVER! Hope it happens for you xoxo

Missionofendo profile image
Missionofendo in reply to Bella_Bee

Thank you so much you just read no stress and calm mind everywhere so when you don’t have that you panic.Plus who wants a row during this time anyway.

Having such an emotional day your post has really helped me

I can’t thank you enough xxxx

Bella_Bee profile image
Bella_Bee in reply to Missionofendo

No worries!!!! I climbed the fcking walls during my IVF. My sperm donor, who I had been in love with for 3 months, filled his UK quota 5 mins before I went to buy it. Imagine that... I had 24hrs to find a new donor, the baby I had had in my head vanished into thin air just like that. And then I almost ran out of medication 3 times because I stimulated for so long. Think not having anything to inject until 30mins before your dose is due. And 3hr train journeys every other day for 3 weeks. Whilst working. And with all the accompanying bloating and misery of the drugs and egg collection and transfer and the million tests. AND getting ready to ship my life to the other side of the world 2 weeks after transfer day. I have no fckn clue how I managed it. I guess we just do.. To top it all off, my little grape has already travelled 15.000 miles, once out to South East Asia at 5 weeks and back again at 10 weeks.

Stick on some trash like love island, have some ice cream and an early night. A good night's sleep makes everything feel lighter. Xo

Missionofendo profile image
Missionofendo in reply to Bella_Bee

From tears to laughter your so funny Bloody hell I thought my journey was bumpy but yours is a rollercoaster. Yet there you are and what a true inspiration.

Your amazing you did it all and I’m in owe of you.

I’m watching some trash of Netflix just had a cry to my friend on the phone & your message comes thru.

Thanks so very very much xx

Ps these fucking progesterone mess you up abit !!!

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