Frustrated: Hiya everyone. Sorry I’m... - Fertility Network UK

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Frustrated

Boo718 profile image

Hiya everyone. Sorry I’m just needing a wee rant.

I feel like I have been on this journey for forever. The jabs, the collection, the constipation, the transfer, the bloat, the penguin waddle, the otd day …. The sadness, the tears. The sod it let’s get drunk, then the right let’s start again.

No BFP not once. I swear if the stick ever has two lines I may walk my bloated arse to specsavers and buy a new pair of glasses.

I don’t feel sad anymore for what we don’t have, I don’t feel anger at the world anymore. I’d sometimes like to punch Brenda from 2 doors down clean in the face when I see her in her pjamas with a tinnie in one hand, fag in the other screaming at her 5 kids.

I don’t know why this has happened to us. But what I do know is that I have an absolutely wonderful husband who I love sooo much and what’s happening to me is happening to him too.

Everyone is fighting some kind of battle…… even Brenda xxx

13 Replies

This journey is a real rollercoaster. I go through moments of being very Zen about everything then moments when I just want to scream. But it's great you have a wonderful husband on this journey with you x

As someone who is still coming to terms with the fact I’ll never fall pregnant naturally (thanks blocked tubes) I really needed to hear this. The thought of IVF terrifies me, most of my friends are having kids, some are on to their second kid. I feel so angry at everyone who is able to get pregnant without even thinking about it, angry at those who don’t understand how lucky they are to have their kids, angry at those who have them and don’t take care of them when that’s the only thing in the world I want.

(Also totally relate to wanting to smack Brenda in the face, been there so many times myself) x

Bloody Brenda! 🤦🏼‍♀️ Relatable!! X

Ha ha! Love this post Boo! So relatable! Too many Brendas in Tesco shouting at their kids... 👊 Feel like punching them in the face! On the positive side... 🥂 Here is to our wonderful husbands! Always supporting us, convincing us that the meds are not making us these irritable whales and putting a brave face when the disappointment of another BFN affects them as much as it affects us xx

I have a Brenda on my road too. Every time I see her I think how bloody unfair life is. Sending you love. While it sucks right now, I try and remind myself if this doesn’t work out it’s not the end the world. We can have a great life without kids. xxxx

I’m there too after 7 miscarriages naturally conceived and three failed embryo transfers that were all euploid with an apparent 95% success rate after having three but I have nothing. Not one bfp line. Nothing. No money left to afford more and 42 so I’m forced off the f hamster wheel because my body is to sh** to do a basic human function and conceive. Stupid Brenda… I hate her every time I see her.

There’s always a Brenda or two right when ya don’t want to even look at them . Such a head wreck the whole thing. I too have grown a stronger love for my husband through it all…. Guess that’s something 🤷🏼‍♀️ that and learning how to relieve constipation 🥺🤪🤪🤪😅🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣 It’s a terrible journey …. No one want to be on it…. And still we try…. Because we are officially the toughest group of women on the planet 😘💐💐💐💐Love and

Hugs of complete understanding 😘💐💐💐💐

You have a great sense of humour Boo, thank you for making me laugh! Sometimes I get fed up of being made to feel like I should be/think/feel positive throughout this whole 'journey'. I'm not positive, I feel sad, helpless, pessimistic. It's shit that we have to go through this physical and emotional heartache with such uncertainty. So it's ok not to be ok. And to want to punch Brenda.

Hahaha that made me laugh between this hard times.Difficult to find that inner peace that will help in the journey. We have to be grateful for what we have around us and sometimes give for granted.

Even Brenda struggle on her own journey, a different one but still a learning curve for her.

Everyday is a new day, where we should not loose hope.

It’s a fucker it really is!sending you love x

You are not alone, I feel the same way😟 my husband is so supportive. Nevertheless, I have even started to pull away from our friends. I love them but they all have babies…

@Boo718 You are not alone. It's a huge rollercoaster of emotions and physically and mentally exhausting. My life revolves around injection times, scan times, waiting for results, being devastated when it doesn't turn out like I wanted it to and then starting all over. Lucky to have a supportive husband. I live in hope.

It annoys me too when other people don't realise the value of the kid/kids they have.

@RhinoCat we are definitely a tough group of women.

🤣🤣🤣🤣 I think we all love your Brenda comment!! we've been there!!

I think when I struggle because someone is announcing a pregnancy I try to think about those friends of mine, who are not marry and every time some has announce a wedding, I was able to see the pain in their faces. We must remember all the good things we have .... I am sure even Brenda has bad days.

In any case I agree with your attitude....we need to remember the journey we go through but also the good things we have :)

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