Sorry for the below but I'm at my whits end. I've been super emotional for 2 days and I have missed my husband who's on a boys motorbike holiday. Nobody understands what it's like to have fertility issues and everywhere there's baby announcements.
I'm losing hope. We are waiting for retrograde ejaculation tests, and sperm SOS tests. Everything is just taking so long and been so complicated.
I honestly don't know if I can carry on this journey anymore. We've had 6 transfers all failed, lots of money has been paid for private tests to supposidly help but we've ended up with nothing but pity from people. I can't stand it.
Sorry Again
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Montgomery2
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It’s good you’re ranting and sharing your feelings as bottling things up never helps.
People who aren’t going through IVF will never get it I don’t think, their pity won’t be intended to be pity, they’ll be trying to be nice somehow but I know lots of my friends say things they think are helping but they actually aren’t!!
It’s such a long, emotional and financially draining process, but we keep going as we keep our end goal in mind. You’ve got this. Give yourself time to process your emotions and cry when you need to. If you feel you can’t carry on with IVF, that’s ok too - it’s not failing it’s making a choice to focus your energy on something else.
I’ve had 4 failed attempts and like you I have felt like it’s never going to happen. But I’ve taken a couple of months off, and we’re going to have one more round.
Always here if you want a chat, you’ve been through so much so please be kind to yourself! You’re amazing, and you can do this. One day at a time xx
Don’t apologise, what you’re feeling is normal. This place is where you can let your frustrations out. I’m so sorry you feel this way. I’m sure covid delays has also added to the frustration. Just wanted to say I agree with @catlady - nobody will ever understand what you’ve been through. People I think are still a big ignorant about the process so aren’t very sensitive to how to deal with it properly. Know though that what you’ve been through - not many could come through the other side unscathed. It’s hard. It just is and it’s unfair and it’s frustrating. You’re allowed to cry about it and I’m sure you have many times before. Just give yourself time to cry , feel it through and then you’ll pick yourself up and decide then if you want to carry on or not. It just needs time. Sorry couldn’t provide better answers - I just felt for you and wanted to say we hear you and what you’ve been through - very few people could . You’re allowed to get upset. Look after yourself.
I'm so sorry you've had 6 failed transfers. That's a lot of heartache to take. It could just unfortunately be a bad batch of embryos. Will u try another fresh round? Perhaps hubby could take some supplements/antibiotics from a urologist to hopefully improve things prior to his sample? There's got to be a reason for recurrent implantation failure and I hope your clinic get to the bottom of it and pull all the stops out! If your paying, you've got every right to chase things up and prod people as to where they're up to with test results.
It will happen for you. It's just finding the right tweaks to make. You'll get there.
Hi hun I am completely with you. It’s horrible and hard and super emotional! While I cannot empathise with how many times you guys have done this I can with the feeling like it will never happen and the pregnancy announcements. Feels like anyone I get close to gets pregnant. It’s shot and no one really gets it.
I really hope it all works out for you and would just say try and be kind to yourself.
The baby announcements are super super hard. And as others here say, sadly nobody will ever understand what you're going through if they haven't been through it too. I'm not surprised you're feeling so down. Such a good number of blasts, and so young, you'd think it's pretty much guaranteed. There's just no obvious rhyme or reason to so much of this stuff, which makes it so difficult. You're doing the best thing you can by insisting on every test you can, and try to think that every test and every thing you rule out is a step closer. The only thing I can say is, remember that with or without a baby, you are an amazing, strong, fantastic person and nothing will change that. It sounds like you have lots of reasons to hope that you will be a mum one day, but the more time I've spent TTC the more I think it's so important not to let this journey become our whole world. I know that is much much easier said than done. Don't suffer in silence, reach out and rant and cry whenever you need to xx
It's long and shitty ivf, it's not a ''journey " or we'd get off at the next stop. I'm not a " warrior '' either I hate that expression 😂 Just keep going, if you can. Thats all you can do. That's what I do, just keep going. I stick up for myself now, with doctors ect, work to my own time line and just keep going. It's a shitty, life changing massively expensive crap hand we've been dealt. I've had 6 embryo transfers so far, 9th egg collection in july. 4 private clinics. I like to think when I get my baby, ( 35 grand down so far ) they will be so blooming amazing it will be worth every minute of the suffering. Or a footballer and reimburse their poor mother for ever penny they cost. Instagram is good , the angry infertiles are worth following and hilariously infertile, realistic but not as sickly positive. You've got this far, just keep going X
Hey lovely. I know exactly how you feel. We’ve just had our 5th egg collection, 10 transfers so far and nothing. 😣 it’s unbelievably painful and frustrating! My husband went away for the weekend for work a couple of weeks ago and I was a mess! I realised it’s because he distracts me from my endless thought process. Try and find something to distract you until he’s back and I will tell you exactly what my counsellor told me - if you don’t let the emotions out bit by bit, they’ll all come flooding out at once and overwhelm you. Try to find a way to let them out regularly, by chatting to a counsellor, friend (if you’re lucky enough to have a friend that gets it!) or even journaling.You can always DM me if you need a chat.
Sending you lots of love. You are not alone sweetie. Infertility is absolutely shite. I can’t offer any words of wisdom but I’m gonna send you a big virtual hug and loads of love. Xxx
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