Third IVF cycle, BFN…😭

[Trying00]

Hi all, Just reaching out for a bit of support to be honest. My third cycle has just come crashing down with bleeding starting on 9 dpt and a negative hpt today. So that’s one chemical, one miscarriage and one big fat negative to date. I know I’m so much luckier than many, to even have gotten this far, but it’s so frustrating. All embryos transferred have been good quality (4AA/4AB) and they can’t find anything wrong on the implantation side. The consultants tell me there’s no issue, so it’s just a numbers game, but how do you all keep up the fight to keep trying when all you’ve experienced is failure and there’s nothing to change or improve? Now just thinking - how will anything be different this time?! I feel my resilience really waning. Love and luck to you all 🌈

[Millbanks]

Hi lovely, I feel your pain! So sorry you've had a BFN - it's never easy. I would suggest that seeing as you have had 2 BFPs that this BFN was likely a genetic issue. Were all your transfers from the same batch of embryos? Statistically for our age 25 - 30% of each batch are chromosomally normal - so it could be that the previous 2 were normal and this last one wasn't. I know it's frustrating but it is a bit of a numbers game really. Do you have an frosties? Or will you start a fresh cycle? xx

[Trying00 in reply to Millbanks]

Thanks millbanks! 😘 the previous two were from the same batch (we only ended up with 2), 1 fresh and 1 FET, and both didn’t stick, so the docs reckon chromosomally abnormal. This one was the first from a fresh cycle and we have 2 more frozen - another 4AA and a 4AB. When I type this I know how lucky we are to have even gotten this, but it’s just so frustrating. Wondering if I should get the frosties screened, but then that has risks too, or put 2 back in! I know I’ll get past it, but right now the thought of just putting another one in and the same thing happening is just excruciating! Where are you up to with your journey? Xxx

[Millbanks in reply to Trying00]

Yes so that does make sense - the 2 that you have remaining are likely the good ones! (or at least one of them) they are great quality!! I think if you have 2 frozen it's probably not worth the cost / time to get the PGS tested - in theory if you had 2 put back next time, if they are normal then at least one should stick... We're going down the PGS testing route because we had 9 frozen, so to find the 1 good one, we'd have to do a lot of transfers and go through potentially a lot of heartache. I know it feels awful now but the fact that you have 2 frozen is brilliant. Take a bit of time to feel better, have a glass of wine, then get back on it! xx

[DianeArnold Partner Nurse Fertility Network UK]

Hi Trying. Oh dear. I'm so so sorry to hear this, and I do hope you've got plenty of support around you just now. The ladies here will support you I know. You are the most important person just now and you need to recover. Hopefully once you have you might be able to try again. I assume you have tried simple things like low dose soluble aspirin and/or heparin to ensure good blood flow to your womb and hopefully prevent clot formation. Thinking of you and sending gentle hugs. Diane

[Trying00 in reply to DianeArnold]

Thanks so much Diane! Yes lots of feeling sad and healing right now, and lots of support, I know I’ll get past this, just so down right now. I hadn’t done aspirin/heparin as my consultant said there is no peer reviewed medical evidence that either actually lead to improved outcomes. Do you know different? Thanks!

[AuroraXen]

I'm so sorry your transfer hasn't worked this time. It must be really frustrating to have had 2 BFPs and have them come to nothing, and then this 😢 Do take care of yourself and try to spoil yourself a bit. I can't offer advice on whether to do PGS or not, I'm afraid, as I haven't done that. It's really good that you have 2 great frozen embryos, so definitely take solace in that, but I completely understand why you'd be loathe to just go ahead and try again without making any changes or doing anything differently xx

[Trying00 in reply to AuroraXen]

Thanks so much Aurora, you’re so sweet to leave a message and I hope you have success in your journey wherever you are at xxxx

[RhinoCat]

Awh pet , so frustrating and heart breaking. Take some time

To heal and recover. Take care of yourself 😘💐💐💐 this journey ain’t easy ….. if it was….. everyone would be on this road. Take it easy and do all

The things that soothe your soul 😘👍🏻💐

[Trying00 in reply to RhinoCat]

Thanks a million RhinoCat, you’re so kind to write and for sure it isn’t easy. Feeling sad now but I’ll perk up soon I’m sure. I hope you have success in your journey wherever you are at xxx

[RhinoCat in reply to Trying00]

Don’t rush it. If you process and work out the hard feelings now, you’ll

Move forward in a better way 😘💐💐💐💐💐 take the time

You need 😘💐💐💐💐

[Donza1]

I previously had 5 failed cycles, before my 6th and final attempt with an fet which ended in a bfp. It is so disheartening when you suffer from repeated failures with what you believe to be good quality embryos. I was told mine was unexplained. I was reluctant to try again as I was convinced it would not work, and we have had to fund all of our cycles, which has been a financial drain, but my embryos had been in storage for 5 years and I was unhappy at the thought of not using them. I am now 15+7 weeks pregnant, and still can’t believe it after 8 years ttc 😃 I just had a higher dose of steroids this time round 🤷‍♀️ xx

[Trying00 in reply to Donza1]

Thanks for your message Donza, and congratulations, that’s amazing and you deserve it after all of that, what a slog for you! I love to hear success stories, as all I have and seem to hear are heartbreaking failures. Thanks for taking the time to write and good luck to you for an easy and safe pregnancy. Much love xxxx

[Jrss1]

Hey, I hope you are ok. I totally understand how you are feeling. Sending you hugs 🤗 xxx

[Hidden]

I’m so sorry - take some time to be really angry and to grieve what might have been

If it helps my sister was the same - top quality embryos and bfn after bfn. Then with her two last poor quality embryos on rounds 7 and 8 she had my (now 2 year old) nephew and my (now 2 month old) niece!!

It can happen sometimes there’s no logic. Good luck xx